Rest

Rest. Oh, that elusive thing that of which I never seem to have enough, and of which when I have it, I always want more. And to be fair, sometimes when I have a chance to rest, I don't take it, but choose to work instead. But God. God created rest, and he said it's good for us. Guess what? Science proves it. Go figure.

I continue to learn more about rest as God impresses the need for it on my heart. For example, there's the walkie talk analogy Dr. Becky Kennedy (2024) shared on her Good Inside podcast with Laura Mae Martin. When you're productive, you're holding down the walkie talkie button. To hear anything back, you have to let go. "That's how they work," she says. And so it is with God, with intuition. When I'm busy, busy, busy, I don't hear from God. I get out of tune with my body. I don't know what I would want or need if I could rest. I have to really stop and pause, and linger in order to tune in, in order to hear. Oh, how I didn't like to hear this, and oh, how I needed to hear it!

Later in the podcast, Laura Mae Martin talked about babies and music. She reported that her baby's music teacher said that babies don't hear music when it is playing. They hear it when it stops. Might that be true of life? That we don't "hear the music"/see the good unless we actually stop and get quiet? This thought convicts me.

As I continue my running life, I realize more and more the importance of rest days. Yes, some days I want to go out and run more, but then I remember the bigger workout on the calendar tomorrow. I must rest today to have energy for that tomorrow. 

Rest days are crucial not only for saving energy, but for gaining fitness. Exercise breaks the body down. On rest days, the body rebuilds. As Amanda Brooks and Laura Norris (2023) say in Tread Lightly, "When you're resting, that's where your body can actually then really take in all of the work and like slingshot you forward." Hmm. I guess I really can do too much work and get to a place that I can't recover from it.

I do not think that rest will ever necessarily come easy to me, because laziness is not rest, and I think I, as a human, tend to swing towards extremes. Understanding more about rest and its purposes, though, convict me to pursue it, motivate me to find pockets for it. May it continue to benefit me in all the ways that God intends, the above of which I am sure are far from the whole of what He intends for this good gift. After all, He originated it. He was the one who rested on the Sabbath and insisted that the ground lie fallow once a year every seven years. It should not come as a surprise that He, the Creator of the Earth, knew the science of why rest would benefit it!

References:

Brooks, A., & Norris, L. Hosts. (2023, June 16). How to run faster! (No. 19). [Audio podcast episode. In Tread Lightly. https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/tread-lightly-podca/episodes/Episode-19-How-to-Run-Faster-e25d9k6

Kennedy, B. (Host). (2024, August 19). There's power in setting boundaries. (No. 166). [Audio podcast episode]. In Good Inside with Dr. Becky. https://www.goodinside.com/podcast/8939/theres-power-in-setting-boundaries/

Mental Health Days, And Why We Need Them

I took a day off a few weeks ago. I hoped it would be to go see my new nephew be born, but alas, he tarried. So I took the day off to rest. Oh, how I needed it.

Here's what my unscheduled day looked like:

Sleeping in

A slow jog

Yoga

Reading

A nap

Fabric card making

Errands

Dinner with family in town

Was I productive? Kinda. Did I do things that matter? Yes. Did I do everything that needed to be done? Nope. And irresponsible as it sounds, I tried not to think about work.

Why? I needed a Mental Health Day. I needed a break. Our minds can tire just like our bodies break down and get sick. And my thoughts and emotions had taken a beating in the prior weeks. They needed time to rest and heal just like our bodies do after illness. So with the Lord's help, I gave myself that time.

Do I recommend that everybody take Mental Health Days? Yes, actually I do. I'm not saying to shirk duties and call out sick from work all the time. But I am encouraging us to consider that our brains need to be healthy just as much as our bodies. So when we've had enough, feel we've hit a wall, and just don't want to do it anymore, maybe it's time for a break. Maybe it's time to respect our mental health just like we do our physical health.

Six Lessons I've Learned From Being Sick

I hate being sick. Really, I do. But I also believe God is sovereign. And with me being such a doer, it seems like God often lets me get sick to remind me to slow down and rest. It's not the way I prefer to learn, but it seems like that is what God is allowing. So, without further ado, here's a few lessons I'm learning from this go-round with illness:

1. Being sick is out of my control. I can do everything I can to promote health and well-being, and still get sick. I can't actually control my body's ability to fight off the germs. I can control my response to illness, however. I need to work on acceptance.
2. Life is a gift, not a given. I often live life like I deserve it. I too often take for granted that every breath I take, every word I speak, every move I make is a gift. I am blessed, even if I get sick sometimes.
3. Nutrition matters. I'm not always hungry when I'm sick, but if I don't eat, how will my body have energy to recover? Some people rejoice when they're sick and lose weight. Not me! I want to feel better and get my energy back.
4. Some things I think are priority really aren't. When I'm forced to decide what really matters, there are less things than I think. Cleaning, exercise, looking good, makeup, overtime, etc. can all go out the window. I'll work the limited amount I need to and go home. I'd rather rest and get better.
5. Kleenex exists for a reason. I'm not a big fan of Kleenex and it seems like an unneeded luxury...until I get sick and have a runny nose. And then the softness of Kleenex is almost a necessity. Right now, I'm really thankful for Kleenex.
6. Having a support system matters. I'm so paranoid about germs that I'm not always present when people are sick. But the people I love are present for me when I'm sick. Their company and kind words make a difference.

Being sick isn't fun, but may I trust God more because of it. And may He be glorified even in, and especially in my illness.

Not For a Moment

Every family that I saw Friday was sick. And the germs of some particular little one settled into my body Saturday afternoon, leaving me with a sore throat yesterday, and knocking me down for the count today. I've been in bed or on the couch most of the day.

With the little brain power I've had, though, I started reading the book Unshakeable Hope: Building Our Lives on the Promises of God by Max Lucado. Some particular lines stuck out to me, but the idea that struck was this, "Who is God?" 

I am honestly irritated about being sick. It's not a good time. My head hurts. My energy levels near zero. I wanted to do some other things. But God. Who is God in this, and what are His promises?

As I pondered that question, lines from a song by Meredith Andrews started to run through my head:

"After all You are constant. After all You are only good. After all You are sovereign. Not for a moment will You forsake me."

And I thought, God is still sovereign. God is still in control. Not for a moment did this take Him by surprise. And who am I to doubt his promises?

"Not for a moment will you forsake me." So when I'm down, when I'm sick, I will choose to remember who God is. In this moment, even a moment when my throat burns, or my head pounds, or germs torment my body, I will choose to praise Him.

Lessons Learned from a Power Outage

It had been an exciting day, and I had my evening all planned out. I was going to research a few things on the internet, take a hot shower, eat a nice leisurely snack while reading the newspaper, and go to bed early or on time (a novelty these days). And then the power went out.

I was ticked. Power is a first world luxury, but I wanted it, needed it. I felt angry about having to walk around the house use my cell phone as a flash light. (I was blessed the phone was charged.) I felt disgruntled that I couldn't use internet. I wanted light for my shower. I felt I deserved my routine after the busyness of the day. I felt I needed that nightly set of habits to be safe. In my anger and frustration, I even prayed for the power to come back on. It didn't.

I obsessively checked the power outage map on my cell phone. It said power restoration at 12:24 am, but would update every five minutes. I checked every five minutes, or less. No changes. I debated not taking a shower, but decided against it. I needed a shower, even if it wasn't how I wanted it. The Spirit convicted me that I was looking to earthly things for comfort when God was my comfort. Things therefore, weren't going to change.

So I took my shower, got my snack, and started trying to read the newspaper by hurricane lamp. I put my phone away. I didn't finish my internet research. Finally, I got to a place where I was almost content. And then right before I went to bed, the power came back on. That was a blessing, as I rely on a box fan for white noise, and I needed power for that. But to be honest, I was a bit miffed. I lost "my evening" for the power outage, and now I really needed to go to bed. So I tried to cultivate a spirit of thanksgiving and gratitude and go to sleep.

I think I'm seeking the Lord, walking in His ways, and relying on Him, and then little things show me I'm not. Oh, how I need the grace of God, every hour, every minute, every breath. He's my Power Source.

Calm

I went to a presentation of Handel's Messiah this weekend. Handel's Messiah has special importance to our family because it's based on Scripture and part of my mom's family Christmas tradition. The performance is special to Arizona because it only comes to our community college in Arizona every few years. I first attended on a random trip home, and I've been back several times since then.

Sometimes, I'm impressed by the presentation of the oratorio. Sometimes, I like the tympani or the horns or the strings. Sometimes the vocalists are amazing, and sometimes not so. Sometimes it's the glitz and glam that strikes me. Sometimes it's the size of the choice. But this weekend, what struck me was the calm.

The calm. It's very rare that I ever sit down for two hours straight and just relax. To be honest, it was a little hard for me to relax in the beginning. I had the program in my lap and was tracking the songs, and it seemed to be taking forever. I had the impulse to grab my phone out of my pocket and take pictures at several points, but I didn't want to be that person disrupting the dark by using a lit device. My jaw kept getting tight and I had to purposefully unclench it. But then at some point, I just let it all go, and I got relaxed, and calm, and sleepy.

Shauna Niequist writes in her devotional Savor about seasons of tiredness, when we get in such a habit of being productive, that we lose our ability to slow down. We consume all the time, and never stop. I think that has been me lately. But the Messiah forced me to slow down, to watch, to wait, to enjoy.

The experience of slowing down took time this weekend. Enjoying the Messiah took effort. But it was worth it. Getting calm is a practice, it seems, and one I probably need to practice more often.

Thoughts on Tiredness, Thanksgiving, and Rest

I saw this quote some time ago on Instagram, and as I approach Thanksgiving break, it seems more and more apropos. I like what I do for work, but to be honest, I am tired. The weight of the pains and tragedies of life has grown heavy over the past few weeks and I am in need of a break. My body is in agreement with me, too, as I have faced stomach pains and upsetness over the past two weeks of work and life. I am pretty sure it is due to too much stress, too little sleep, and a whole ton of rushing.

What about you, friends? Are you, too, in need of rest? We live in a hustle and bustle society, and it's easy to rush and do, do, do, even on, and sometimes especially on holidays. But holidays are an opportunity to rest, to re-evaluate our values, to focus on those nearest and dearest to us.

For those of you who are Christ-followers, the idea of resting on holidays is biblical. Look at Esther 9:17-19, for example. In that setting, the Jews feasted on food and drink and took a rest from their labors. In Matthew 11:28-29, Jesus calls people to cast their burdens on him in order to rest. Rest is something we need to do, and I would argue especially so this holiday.

The Lord knows I struggle with rest, but that's my hope for you, and for me this upcoming holiday. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

P.S. I am about to, Lord willing, head off on another adventure, so I am posting this holiday greeting early. Follow me on Instagram to see more about what I'm doing for the holiday, that is, if I remember to post.

Taking a Day Off

Those of you who know me in real life know that I'm a chronic "doer." Over the past few weeks, though, I've pretty much done myself in. So when the opportunity came to clear my schedule and take a vacation day yesterday, I did. Sure, I felt a little guilty. Yes, I wondered if I could have made it another day. But when I woke up at 7:25 am instead of rolling over to turn off the 5 am alarm, I was glad I decided to take a break.

What have I done today? A whole lot of nothing. Well, I did change the sheets on my bed and do two loads of laundry. I did my physical therapy exercises. But those are things that needed to be done. Besides that, I fixed myself a nice breakfast and just allowed myself to sit.

I scrolled Instagram and watched a few YouTube videos. This one about Cole LaBrant's vows to his adopted daughter at the wedding to her mom is pretty sweet.

I did a little computer work (writing this blog, prayer verses, etc.). I wrote my family an e-mail.

I watched an Amazon Prime movie: Pitching Love and Catching Faith. (It was a mostly clean movie, but struck out on the faith aspect. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it. I stayed in my pjs through lunch, more social media, and a nap. Then I finally changed into "real" clothes to go for a jog. Albeit at a slow place, I made it through three miles. This was my first jog in over a week. And I felt like I finally had some energy!

After jogging, I stretched and spent some time in my happy place. My best friend bought me that floor pillow, and it's awesome. There's something about sitting on the floor that makes me feel calm. My 25 cent library magazine and crochet were welcome companions for my quiet retreat.

Next came Thai food with middle school friends.

And then a wrap up of this blog post on the computer, nightly snack, and bed.

I like to be productive. I like to justify my days and my life. And yesterday was justifiable. Just not in the traditional sense. It was a needed break and a needed rest. I didn't get a lot done, but that's not what rest days are about.

What's Helping Me Get Through

Work's a little busy. Life's a little crazy. How am I getting through? These five self-care practices help:

1) Slow breakfasts: Giving myself 45 minutes to sit and eat and scroll through my phone. Admittedly, I can get overly caught up in negative research on my phone, or fall into the comparison trap of social media, but overall, it's a good habit.

2) Sleep: I can't get enough of it, and weekend naps are key! I sometimes give up other social engagements or activities to get in my time. Sleep is just so important right now.

3) Podcasts: Filling my mind with positive thoughts helps fight the negative ones. External noise also helps quiet the internal noise. Right now, I'm a major fan of The Chasing Joy Podcast with Georgie Morley. It's positive content and helpful tips for living a life of overall wellness. Double win!

4) Eating more protein: Days are long and being hungry/having low blood sugar just isn't good. So even though I'd like to be vegetarian, I've started eating more meat. I've also started supplementing my diet with and protein powder and protein bars. Right now, I just need that little "extra."

5) Moving: I still haven't quite figured out the right rest and exercise balance, but moving feels good, especially when I sit at a desk or ride in a car all day. Sometimes movement is walking, sometimes slowly running (or trotting, as I prefer to call it), sometimes yoga, and sometimes weightlifting and/or HIIT. Movement just makes the day go better, and sometime being sore gives me something to focus on other than ruminating about the craziness of life

These are the current ways I'm practicing self-care, but what about you? What's getting you through right now?

Pursuing Rest via Yoga

I started a more intensive yoga practice last fall while working at a school that offered after-school vinyasa classes for staff. Our teacher was a wonderful woman that knew just how far to push and challenge us. I'd come out of each hour class feeling sweaty, tired, and at peace. I thought that was how yoga was supposed to.

I couldn't go to yoga classes in January, so I committed to Do Yoga With Me's 30 Day Yoga Challenge. I realized that not all yoga classes were an hour in length, and I had to accept the fact that sometimes yoga didn't stretch me and energize me like the vinyasa classes. Sometimes it just rested me.

Fast forward to March and another yoga challenge that involved way too much lying on the ground and philosophizing, and I was pretty set in my yoga ways. I wanted the classes to be long and tired.

But then life got in the way of yoga, our yoga teacher left, and I didn't find time to fit in my weekly hour of yoga. I put yoga off or just did it occasionally. I toyed around with a new video yoga instructor, Lesley Fightmaster, and did a few short classes. But I wasn't committed.

After reading HummusSapien's Love Letter to Anxiety last week, however, I think I'm ready to recommit to a more regular yoga practice. Though building strength to survive those hour yoga classes is cool, what I really need from yoga are the components of muscle stretching and brain rest. Lesley Fightmaster's classes have just enough chatarungas to keep me moving and she always ends with an inspiring quote, so for now, I think I'll still with her classes. So long, hard, sweaty vinyasa. Hello, rest, because right now, that's what I need more of to moderate my life. 

*And if you're like me, living a busy lifestyle but in need of  the rest of yoga, I recommend Lesley's Fightmaster's "10 Minute 'Emergency' Yoga Sequence." As said in the video, some yoga is better than no yoga.*

Self Care For Me Right Now Means More Rest

I recognized that I needed to amp up my self-care when I started my new job. So I began looking for and pinning self-care challenges. I did one in June and another one in July. A few days ago, I deleted the rest of them from my Pinterest board, however. Why? I'm tired. Too tired to commit to another challenge.

I can complicate almost anything, and I've done it with self-care, too. I've made completion of the self-care challenges an item on my "to-do" list, rather than using them as opportunities to rest and take care of myself. To be honest, completing the self-care challenge has made my days more stressful at times (like when I needed to run on a rainy day or buy flowers when I didn't have time to stop at the store).

One day, I got rebellious and didn't complete the daily challenge. I sat on the floor of my room and scrolled through my social media accounts instead. Shauna Niequiest talks about wasting time in Present Over Perfect, and this was a precise example of that. Scrolling social media was also my version of play, which Brene Brown mentions as important in The Gifts of Imperfection. Engaging in play over productivity felt SO good.

As I listen more to my body and try to live more intuitively and authentically, I'm realizing that self-care for me is less about self-love, and more about self-compassion. Practically, it's about accepting when my body is hungry, tired, or scared. It's about accepting when my mind won't work or just doesn't want to be productive. It's about stopping and resting.

Am I abandoning self-care or not doing the things I need to do to remain healthy? No. I'm just focusing more on self-acceptance and self-compassion. I'm resting more and doing less. This is the only kind of self-care that will yield the kind of renewal and growth that I need.

Re-Examining Rest

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

~Matthew 11:28-29

The new year is here, but with in the end of my two week, one and one-half break from work. I'd like to say that I've rested during this time, and I have, but not the extent that I'd like. As I've looked back over my habits this past year, I've realized that I constantly rush through life. I lose out on the ability to enjoy even simple things like clipping coupons because I hurry through the activity just to get to the next one. I'm trying to slow down, to really enjoy and savor life, but it's hard. I wish I could say that I'm excited to go back to work, but I'm not. I'm dreading it, fearful. I've tried to start some new habits, like writing on daily journal prompts and practicing yoga, but I worry that I won't be able to keep up these routines while working. I worry that the frenzy will overtake any life and spirit I have found during this time. I want to find who I really am this year instead of running through life, tripping over obstacles, ignoring the scenery, and generally acting like a robot, but it seems impossible.

I've realized recently that rest is a choice. There is never really enough “time” for it, and certainly never a “good” time. This past semester, I've gone to a yoga class once a week after school, but this month, I decided to embark on a 30 day yoga video challenge. The videos vary in length, which means I have to plan ahead to fit them in, be intentional. Often times, I approach yoga in a rush, as one more to-do item to cross off my list. But then I have to hold a pose and breathe and wait. By the end of the practice, I've normally calmed down and my body feels better, but that feeling doesn't stay. When the next day comes, I don't really want to make time for what I know is good for me.

This is kind of like rest. I want rest and the benefits it gives, but not the time and commitment it takes. I want to read my Bible slowly and enjoy it, but instead I approach it like an adrenaline shot—get it in fast and get it done. I want to make friends and enjoy my family, but when I'm with these people, I often find my mind on the next task, the next thing to get down when I arrive home. Part of the issue is that I don't remain present. I don't remain here in the moment or enjoy God's blessings in it.

In Matthew, Jesus commands his followers to come to him with their burdens and find rest in him. I think my burden is the harried lifestyle I live, the loss of myself and my personality to the to-do list. I want to know God's rest, to experience His peace, but I've incorporated the rush into my personality. I've used it to evaluate and valuate my life. If I give up the rush, I have to re-found my life on Christ and re-establish my identity in Him. That sounds painful, excruciatingly so. But that's the way to go, I guess. I can't have rest if I have rush.

Silver Lining

Remember my post about struggling to rest? Well after a busy weekend and not enough sleep Saturday night, I got sick. I thought I had a cold, and I tried to power through it. I went to work on Monday, but I woke up feeling awful on Tuesday. I took my temperature and it was 103 degrees. Great! Now I not only had to stay home, but needed to schedule a doctor's appointment to find out what illness I really had. After negative flu and strep tests, the doctor told me I had an up-to-five-day virus. Her prescription: No work. No work-outs. Lots of fluids. Not my preferred modes of living. But as my coworker so kindly reminded me, there is a silver lining.

A year after it came out, I finally got to watch War Room. My roommate went out and got me cough drops to get me through the coughing spells and pizza and baby carrots, the only foods I wanted to eat. She paid for it all herself even though I sent her with my credit card. I am getting caught up on sleep, even if it is at times I would rather be working. I had a relaxing evening last night reading the Conde Nast Traveler magazine, listening to classical music, and working on a baby blanket. (Rest assured that I wash all baby blankets before sending them, sick or not sick when I made them.) It is the second truly relaxing evening I have had all year.

I am not sure when this virus will end and I will be able to return to work. I hope that the end was yesterday, but only God knows. For now, I am trying to take to heart the words of Sarah Young (2004) from this morning's reading in Jesus Calling:

I will get you safely through this day and all your days. But you can find Me only in the present. Each day is a precious gift from My Father. How ridiculous to grasp for future gifts when today's is set before you! Receive today's gift gratefully, unwrapping it tenderly and delving into its depths. As you savor this gift, you find Me.

Reference:

Young, Sarah. (2004). Jesus calling. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson.