Thoughtful, But Unkind

I've always thought of myself as a thoughtful person. But the Holy Spirit has shown me lately that thoughtfulness and seeing the needs of others does not always equate with kindness. Though I may be a thoughtful person, able to see the needs of others, I am very unkind.

Case in point: The other night in the shower, I kept turning up the water hotter and hotter. I knew I was running the water tank low, leaving my husband with only cold water, but I did it anyway. I chose my comfort over his. In the same manner, I often see the needs of others, but steel myself against them, sometimes because I don't want to dig deep to see if I can meet those needs, sometimes because seeing the needs hurts me, sometimes for other reasons. In most cases, my selfishness comes to light.

I am not Jesus. I cannot meet the needs of everyone, but I can be kind. And I should be more kind. But I'm not getting there myself. And being self-righteous about how thoughtful I think I am isn't going to help me.

Having the Spirit show me how great a sinner I am is painful. It is shaving down of my pride. But the more I realize I am a sinner, the more I realize I need Jesus. And maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Jesus is the only truly thoughtful and perfectly kind human. He is the only one who can meet all our needs. May I ever more look to him as the Spirit forms me in His likeness.