Real Life Marriage: How I Pray for My Husband

I'll never forget the day that I realized I might be praying for my husband all wrong. I had just started the 30 Day Praying for your Husband Challenge from Revive Our Hearts, and after just a few days, I noticed something. None of the prayers were about vertical things, things on earth, things in our marriage, things in our relationships. The prayers were about horizontal things: relationship to and with God, humility, leadership, patience, etc. What I had been praying wasn't wrong, but the way was praying was wrong.

I prayed for my husband since before we were married. I prayed about his work and friendships and about his struggles and sorrows. I prayed about our friendship, and then our dating, and finally our marriage. I thought I was praying for the right things because I was praying with him in mind. I realized when I started the prayer challenge that I was praying not for him, but about him. I was praying selfishly for my good, and for my definition of good, but not for my husband's good, or God's definition of good for my husband. I was praying about external things, and not about his internal state.

Praying through the 30 day challenge refocused my heart. First, it reminded me to pray first and foremost for my husband's heart, and for his right relationship with God. Second, it reminded me to pray Scripture, because that is God's known and manifested will. Third, it prompted me to pray for my husband to have Christlike character and to say to the Lord, "'Not my will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:42, New International Version [NIV]). 

Do I still pray for the day-to-day stuff for my husband? Sure! But I try to pray about it for my husband's good, and from a perspective of what God wants, not what I want. At the end of the day, my greatest desire for my husband is that he loves God with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength (Luke 10:27). When he does that, he's going to benefit. I'm going to benefit. The world is going to benefit. "'Your kingdom come [Lord], on earth as it is in heaven'" (Matt 6:10). This is the way, then, that I should pray.