What I Can Change

There's a lot of things in life I would like to change right now. Most of these things I can't change. My husband likes to say that he can't change the situation, but he can change his attitude about it. I'm not even sure I can do that. I have a lot of emotions, and too often, they can get the best of me. I have realized one thing I can change, though. I can change the direction of my thoughts.

When there are things I would like to change, I usually ruminate on them. I think about how unfair it is that the things won't change. Or I dream of what life might look like if the things do change. Or I blame someone (or myself) for the situation. None of these trains of thought are helpful. They just entrench my sadness and anger and anxiety. The emotions overwhelm me and can lead me to states of near (or actual) panic.

As I have learned more about attachment, I have realized that God is the only true security I have in this life. He is my refuge (Psalm 16:1). I can rely on Him no matter how life or life's situations change. Therefore, I have been seeking to direct my thoughts towards Him. When things come up that I would like to change, things I would like to be different, I am choosing to think about God fulfills my longings for security. I am endeavoring to meditate on God as my perfect helper, God as my peace, God as the one who always approves of me (because of Jesus!). Ultimately, nothing I can do in this life really matters. Jesus changed the world, and thinking of Him matters, and helps my life matter.

Directing my thoughts towards God and His attributes does not change situations. It does not change my emotions. I still feel them, all of them. Thinking of God and His perfection, though, disrupts my negative thought spiral. It keeps my brain out of panic mode because I am reminded of my eternal safety in Christ. It helps me look less towards people to meet my needs and more towards God.

Have I perfectly initiated this change of thought pattern? No, but it's a change that I know I can make with the Holy Spirit's help. I've tried a lot of quick fixes before. This one, I hope is permanent, because it directs me to the One who cannot change. Secure in Him, I pray I weather changes better, however and whenever they may come in this life.