The Check Engine Light

The check engine light came on in our car again. It was poor timing, right before my husband had a big test for his classes, along with an important meeting regarding his future career. I had work, too, and I didn't want to leave it. The thing was, I could. Several of my afternoon appointments cancelled, so I technically had the opening. I had vacation time I could take so I would not lose wages. The cost to me was my desire to do what I wanted to do, my pride.

I really wrestled with whether or not to leave work. I rued the fact that I had to be the one to take care of the car issue. I grouched that life was unfair. Why did the car have to be my issue, too? In the past, my husband had taken care of the car, but at this time and in this season, everything that is not his school or work is pretty much my responsibility. Taking care of these responsibilities is a way I can serve and support my husband, things I want to do, but selfishly, not in this way.

After much internal debate and some Holy Spirit conviction, I left work early, figuring I would make up time if I could, or take vacation. When I got in the car, the check engine light had mysteriously gone off. I hoped I might just go home to work, but my husband asked me to still take the car into Auto Zone. I did. There, they asked me to plug in the code reader myself, something I didn't know how to do. (Fortunately, YouTube did!). When I took the code reader back in for a download, the only code that read was about the gas pedal, we thought, due to my having bumped in while vacuuming out the car a few days earlier. I heaved a great sigh of relief.

As I drove the remaining distance home, I felt the conviction that this check engine light issue was not a coincidence. It was a check engine light for my marriage. Was I willing to sacrifice for my husband, for us? Was I willing to prioritize my home life over my work. I needed a priority check, and this was it. I think I passed, barely, but would I next time?

As it turned out, a few weeks later, the car's check engine light not only came on, but accompanied an issue that made the car virtually inoperable. I couldn't take care of the car, and my husband did so to take care of me. Maybe things all come out in the wash? Whatever the case, I know that only regular maintenance of my heart before the Lord and deliberate work on partnership in my marriage will ensure that our priorities are in place, and that we continue to work together, rather than at adds to one another. Only then will the light of Christ shine through us as we desire.