Dating is fun, and then comes marriage. Marriage is fun, too, but there's a lot of business, especially when life gets busy. Problem solving as a couple is great, but when it becomes the norm, it becomes a problem. In those times, it is easy to lose the fun, to lose the enjoyment. We've been there/are there much of the time. We have to work to get out of the cycle.
"I just want to enjoy being married," I said to my husband the other day. I prefaced my statement with telling my husband that I still loved him, still liked him. I was just tired of our nose to the grindstone rhythm and wanted out. I wanted to enjoy him, to enjoy our life together. We didn't have much time, but we made some.
What did we do? Last month, we spent a morning hiking. We talked about world events and philosophies of life, just like we used to do when we were dating--no business. We dreamed of the future together, something we did not do until after we got engaged. We just left business off the table. We went out to brunch and talked some more. We ran errands, but not the daily life kind of errands, the random, "I need..." kind of errands we enjoyed together while dating. We played a game. We made enjoying each other an item of business, and it benefitted us.
Sure, there isn't always time for day dates. Yes, going out to eat takes money. We don't always have either. We are learning, the hard way, to prioritize time for each other, however. All the lovey-dovey feelings we had as a dating couple may have come naturally, but our marriage is about committed love, and that takes effort. Maybe someday the time for enjoying each other will come easier, but for now, carving out time for it is an item of business, because staying married is our business, for God's glory and our good.
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