Thursday, April 10, 2025

Real Life Marriage: Sibling Spats



Thankfully, my husband and I do not really fight. At least, praise the Lord, we do not engage in the kind of knock-down, drag-out, call-each-other-names conflict I would deem a fight. Still, we have conflict, and the longer we have been married, the more of it we seem to have. We (I) get irritated over little things. We bicker. We cannot see eye to eye. Why? Shouldn't we be growing together, instead of acting like an adversarial set of siblings?

I feel silly likening our conflict to that of siblings, but in a conversation with my husband about feeling safe in marriage, he used the same analogy. "You can't just get rid of your sibling," he said. "It's safe, so you fight."

That really struck me. I think part of the reason we have so many spats right now is because we feel safe. We feel comfortable expressing all of who we are, and sometimes that means strong preferences. While we should not use safety in marriage as an excuse for unkindness, there is also room for all of us, and all of our (mostly my) big emotions. As much as I hate our spats, maybe they are a sign of growth.

We grow when we learn more about each other. We grow when we learn to communicate better. We grow when we understand better how to honor one another's preferences and needs. Sometimes spats are part of that.

Do I treat my husband solely as a sibling? No. He is my lover, friend, wise counselor, person who knows me best, etc. Framing our spats in terms of the safety of relationship, however, is helpful. Safety in our relationship is crucial to our covenant, and to our growth within it.

May we spat well. May we spat better. May God continually grow our marriage so that it more and more images Him and his great, unceasing, unchanging love for us. To Him be the glory. Amen!

Saturday, April 5, 2025

Eats and Empties (Week 14)


The Eats:

Chipotle black beans (She Likes Food)

Funfetti cupcakes (The Sweet Occassion)

Lentil potato soup (Running on Real Food)

Teriyaki meatball bowls (Meal Prep in an Instant)

The Empties:

Pound of black beans
Old brown rice
Head of cabbage
Bunch of celery
Carton of 18 eggs
Old garlic
Two pound bag of medium cheddar cheese
Carton of Greek yogurt
Two pound bag of mozzarella cheese
Pasta shells
Can of crushed pineapple
Powdered sugar
Container of sprinkles
Tuna

What went to waste:
 

A bag of freezer burned peas (composted, though)

Tuesday, April 1, 2025

Grace for the Martha's and for the Mary's


Martha toiled. Martha was "distracted" (New International Version, 2011, Luke 10:40). Martha got "worried and upset" (Luke 10:41). Martha ratted on her sister Mary to Jesus.

Mary was better. Mary "[chose]...better" (Luke 10:42). She sat at Jesus' feet, ostensibly to learn from him and be with him.

But both sisters struggled with unbelief. Both separately told Jesus that if he would have been there when their brother Lazarus was sick, Lazarus would not have died (John 11:21, 32). Both believed Jesus could heal living people, but they didn't seem to believe he could heal living people. 

Martha believed...somewhat. Mary believed...somewhat. Neither believed fully. Martha's distraction didn't take from her belief, or lack thereof (at least in this instance. Mary's sitting at Jesus' feet didn't make her believe better (in this instance). Both needed the grace and mercy of God, BOTH.

There is grace for the Martha's, 
and grace for the Mary's. 
Grace for the go-getters, 
grace for the sitters. 
Grace for the believers, 
grace for the halfways, 
and even grace 
for the not-there-yets.
Jesus gives it all.
Jesus is it all.
Jesus is grace personified;
for all he died.
So whether you think
you're better or worse
Jesus came to break sin's curse.
There is grace for the Martha's.
There is grace for the Mary's.
Whether we tend to be distracted
or whether we tend to sit,
there is grace for all who believe
even if it is just a little bit.

Reference:

New International Version. (2011). BibleGateway.com. http://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/#booklist

Monday, March 31, 2025

Strong(er) in March


What's going well? We've gotten into the swing of having more regular dates. We've had some epic and some everyday ones (exploration of new places and commonplace errand running). Regular dates definitely strengthens our marriage and helps me feel more positive about life overall. Praise the Lord!

What's about the same? I am still reading my Bible and doing the Bible recap. I am fasting for Lent (from a food and a few activities). The goal of Lent is to focus more on Jesus and grow stronger in my faith. I hope it is doing that, but I am not sure right now.

What might not be getting stronger? Although my pull-up program reps are increasing, I am not sure I am getting stronger (Bomgren, 2023). I am getting tired of them and without seeing progress, I am tempted to quit the program. Shall I? Is it serving me? I have yet to decide.

I am still running. I am thankful for that. I have been having a few weird health things, which makes me worry that I will not be able to run like I want to run. I also caught a cold this past week. Boo!

I did buy more collagen and running fuel. I do not like the new running fuel brand, but if I have a hope of getting stronger, I have to fuel! We will see how things work out for my race in a few weeks.

Overall, this month, I feel like I am getting hard, not strong. Truth strength is not hardness. Hard things snap and break. Strong things handle the load. They are flexible (to an extent). I want to be that kind of strong.

The thing is that I am not strong on my own. I can only be strong with the strength that Christ gives me. As Tara-Leigh Cobble (2025) says in The Bible Recap “True strength and courage is established by being mindful of God's presence in our lives.” May I grow in my awareness of the Lord, even as I seek to grow stronger in the every day of this life.

References:

Bomgren, L. (2023, October 4). How to get better at pull-ups (12 week guide). Nourish move https://www.nourishmovelove.com/how-to-get-better-at-pull-ups/

Cobble, T. (2025, March 23). Day 082 (Joshua 1-4) -- Year 7. [Audio podcast episode]. In The Bible recap. https://thebiblerecap.podbean.com/e/day082-year7/

Sunday, March 30, 2025

What I've Been Listening To and Watching This Month



I am taking a little break from reading, so for this month's wrap-up, I'll share some of what I've been listening to and watching this month. Instead of everything, though, I'll just share the good stuff:

Listening:

The Bible Recap (the companion to my daily Bible reading)

Lent and Fasting with Dr. Darren Whitehead on That Sounds Fun (a helpful discussion about the value of fasting)

Time Management for Real Life: How to Plan Your Week Without Overwhelm with Megan Sumrall on Make Fit Simple (an interesting take on time management for women and budgeting for "unexpected" tasks)

Equinox Trainer Amanda Katz on Nailing the Basics (Fuel!), Eating Disorders, and "Looking" Fit on Lane 9 (I appreciated Katz' take on what "balance" looks like as a fitness professional and marathon runner.)

Why Ozempic Isn't a Miracle Weight-Loss Drug with Amanda Martinez Beck on Rethinking Wellness (Skip over the Ozempic talk and consider the discussion about gluttony as a sin because it takes from others-an interesting thought)

Big Sister Pep Talk: You're Not Selfish on The Lazy Genius (Kendra Adachi has some important things to say here. I can be selfish, but I can also fail to take care of myself, which has negative consequences for the people around me.)

Coach K: Love in Winning, Love in Losing on Everything Happens  (Watch out for one swear word at the end, but otherwise, this is a great talk on character and leadership.)

Watching:

Although I have watched a few videos and TV shows this month, the only thing I can really recommend is Levi Kelly's house tours. We found Kelly via the Tiny BnB TV show, and then discovered his YouTube channel which includes tours of not just tiny Air BnBs, but a variety of homes. We enjoy viewing and discussing what we do and do not like about each home. It is good relationship building and also helps us think about what me might like in a future home, should we leave where we are.

--

Anyone want to share what media they've been into this month? Please drop your best podcast listens and movies or TV shows in the comments!

Saturday, March 29, 2025

Eats and Empties (Week 13)

The Eats:

Greek yogurt chicken salad (All Recipes)

Honey BBQ chicken with citrus slaw (How Sweet Eats)-Made by my husband

Mexican meatloaf with potatoes and vegetables (Meal Prep in an Instant)-Frozen for the future

Sourdough discard bagels (Acts of Sourdough)-our first batch of this calendar year

Tuna pasta salad (Tastes Better from Scratch)

Turkey and cornmeal dumplings (Eating Well)

The Empties:

Five pound bag of carrots
Frozen chicken broth
Chipotle pepers in adobo sauce
Container of cottage cheese
One pound bag of frozen corn
Bottle of cumin
Frozen full-of-veggies white chili (Oatrageous Oatmeals)
Container of Greek yogurt
Fresh green beans
Three 12 ounce packages of frozen green beans
Old honey
Head of iceberg lettuce
Frozen jalapeno
Bunch of kale
Frozen light and fluffy egg casserole (Meal Prep in an Instant)
Half gallon of milk
Grape Nuun tablets
Old onions
Old peanut butter
Five pound bag of potatoes
Head of romaine lettuce
Frozen simple French lentil soup (The Full Helping)
Frozen slow cooker vegetarian lentil chili (Budget Bytes)
Frozen half-loaf of sourdough bread
Frozen loaf of sourdough sandwich bread
Can of diced tomatoes
Can of tomatoes and green chiles
Frozen tomato paste
Two cans of tuna
Pound of ground turkey
Frozen leftover turkey from Thanksgiving

What went to waste:
 

An entire bag of onions molded! 

Monday, March 24, 2025

What I Learned from the Ideal Week Exercise (And I Didn't Even Do that Much of It)


I got intrigued about the "ideal week" when I heard Jess Connolly (2025) talk about it on her podcast. What was this ideal week, and was there any way to craft such a week for myself? My time sure felt out of my control, and if I could do anything to infuse some joy back into my life, I wanted to do it!

After some Google searching and blank template finding, I finally discovered an article on this so called "ideal week." I am not sure who coined the idea, but I skimmed the article at Full Focus and printed out the template (Hyatt, 2024). The idea I took away was to block out my week and then try to make myself more efficient. Well, I only got so far as to block out my work days and commute time. On a 5 am to 9 pm schedule, that left very little margin. (I get up at 4:30 or 5 am and got to bed between 9 and 9:30 pm.) What stood out to me, though, was that commute time. If I had to commute, what could I do with the time?

The first thing I discovered was that I could use the drive home to call my parents. I am a routine girl, but after my parents moved out of state, I had not found a new regular time to connect with them. Enter the commute: not the best time for a call, but better than nothing. 

I also realized that some days, I have power about how long that commute is, at least in terms of minutes. I like to get to the office at 8 am, and sometimes I have to do so. Traffic is thick at those times, which makes the commute longer. Some days, however, I have choices: I can go in late and make up the time later, or I can work from home and commute at an off-peak hour to save time. A few days of less fighting traffic reduces at least some of my stress.

Besides that commute, I don't really have a lot of other things to move around right now. Sure, I could probably optimize my work day a little bit, but overall, my life is just one of wake up and attack the day, except where I create my own margin. That is what the ideal week exercise showed me: that I have a little more control and power over my time than I exercise. Time is not the master, I am (and hopefully, Christ in me).

The optimal time to do things rarely comes along. The second best time is the time I have. I can play. I can rest. I can work. Rarely can I do all of these at the same time. I can make the best of the time I have, though. It's not ideal, but it's the deal I have, and I have to make or break it.

References:

Connolly, J. (Host). (2025, February 2). Episode 67: Hobby girls. [Audio podcast episode]. In The Jess Connolly Podcast. https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/jessconnolly/episodes/Episode-67-Hobby-Girls-e2u8frg

Hyatt, M. (2024, December 12). How to better control your time by designing your ideal week. Full Focus. https://fullfocus.co/ideal-week/

Saturday, March 22, 2025

Eats and Empties (Week 12)

The Eats:

Colcannon (Budget Bytes)

Corned beef 
(The Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook)

Instant pot split pea soup (Healthier Steps)-Our favorite split pea soup recipe!

Hawaiian pork (The Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook)

The Empties:

Head of cabbage
Corned beef brisket
Green onions
Head of iceberg lettuce
Lemon
Half gallon of milk
Onion powder
Five pound bag of potatoes
Radishes
One pound bag of split peas

What went to waste: 

Nothing that I know of !

Monday, March 17, 2025

Rest


Rest. Oh, that elusive thing that of which I never seem to have enough, and of which when I have it, I always want more. And to be fair, sometimes when I have a chance to rest, I don't take it, but choose to work instead. But God. God created rest, and he said it's good for us. Guess what? Science proves it. Go figure.

I continue to learn more about rest as God impresses the need for it on my heart. For example, there's the walkie talk analogy Dr. Becky Kennedy (2024) shared on her Good Inside podcast with Laura Mae Martin. When you're productive, you're holding down the walkie talkie button. To hear anything back, you have to let go. "That's how they work," she says. And so it is with God, with intuition. When I'm busy, busy, busy, I don't hear from God. I get out of tune with my body. I don't know what I would want or need if I could rest. I have to really stop and pause, and linger in order to tune in, in order to hear. Oh, how I didn't like to hear this, and oh, how I needed to hear it!

Later in the podcast, Laura Mae Martin talked about babies and music. She reported that her baby's music teacher said that babies don't hear music when it is playing. They hear it when it stops. Might that be true of life? That we don't "hear the music"/see the good unless we actually stop and get quiet? This thought convicts me.

As I continue my running life, I realize more and more the importance of rest days. Yes, some days I want to go out and run more, but then I remember the bigger workout on the calendar tomorrow. I must rest today to have energy for that tomorrow. 

Rest days are crucial not only for saving energy, but for gaining fitness. Exercise breaks the body down. On rest days, the body rebuilds. As Amanda Brooks and Laura Norris (2023) say in Tread Lightly, "When you're resting, that's where your body can actually then really take in all of the work and like slingshot you forward." Hmm. I guess I really can do too much work and get to a place that I can't recover from it.

I do not think that rest will ever necessarily come easy to me, because laziness is not rest, and I think I, as a human, tend to swing towards extremes. Understanding more about rest and its purposes, though, convict me to pursue it, motivate me to find pockets for it. May it continue to benefit me in all the ways that God intends, the above of which I am sure are far from the whole of what He intends for this good gift. After all, He originated it. He was the one who rested on the Sabbath and insisted that the ground lie fallow once a year every seven years. It should not come as a surprise that He, the Creator of the Earth, knew the science of why rest would benefit it!

References:

Brooks, A., & Norris, L. Hosts. (2023, June 16). How to run faster! (No. 19). [Audio podcast episode. In Tread Lightly. https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/tread-lightly-podca/episodes/Episode-19-How-to-Run-Faster-e25d9k6

Kennedy, B. (Host). (2024, August 19). There's power in setting boundaries. (No. 166). [Audio podcast episode]. In Good Inside with Dr. Becky. https://www.goodinside.com/podcast/8939/theres-power-in-setting-boundaries/

Saturday, March 15, 2025

Eats and Empties (Week 11)


The Eats:

Anaheim green chile salsa (Food & Wine)-frozen for future use

Banana oat flour muffins (Fit Foodie Finds)

Homemade pizza sauce (Budget Bytes)

Hummus and red pepper soup (Turnip the Oven)

Macaroni and cheese (Meal Prep in an Instant)-Frozen for future use

No-rise protein pizza (Fit Foodie Finds)

Steamed artichokes with dipping sauce (The Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook)

The Empties:

Anaheim pepper
Old apples
Jar of applesauce
Artichokes
Sourdough discard bagel (Acts of Sourdough)-a holdover from marathon fueling
Five pound bag of carrots
Two heads of cauliflower (some frozen for future use)
Cauliflower rice
Twelve ounce bag of gourmet cheddar cheese
Two pound bag of sharp cheddar cheese
Pickled chiles
Cilantro
Costco container of cinnamon
Frozen chicken broth
Frozen chickpeas
Two 24-ounce containers of cottage cheese
Container of Greek yogurt
Can of crushed tomatoes
Head of iceberg lettuce
Frozen kidney beans
Mayonnaise jar
Half gallon of milk
Seventy ounce container of picante sauce (Salsa)
Old protein powder
Pumpkin butter
Sprinkles
Two cartons of strawberries (most sliced and frozen for the future)
Tomatillos
Can of tomato paste
Zucchini

What went to waste:
 

A little bit of onion that went bad

Monday, March 10, 2025

Real Life Marriage: The Sacredness of Firsts


I expected to kiss when I got engaged. I saw value in making a kiss meaningful, but I had no intention of saving my first kiss until marriage, that is until my boyfriend, now husband, told me that was his intention. Since I also held to the value of the man being the leader in the relationship, I went with it.

A dear friend asked me sometime around our engagement if I thought that marriage would be overwhelming. She expressed concern after hearing how little (physical or otherwise) my fiance and I shared. (In addition to sharing little physical intimacy, I held to strong beliefs about not sharing details of my finances before marriage, for example.) I told her that I was, and I wasn't. I saw marriage as a commitment, and I figured that might be the safest place to expose some of that stuff. It was, and it wasn't.

Because of my strong boundaries, marriage brought with it a lot of firsts: first kiss, first intimacy, first sharing of finances, first house buying etc. Some of that was challenging. I had to faith the truth, and untruth of some of my assumptions. Some things required some figuring out. Still, by God's grace, I don't regret those decisions. There is a sacredness about having all of those things with my husband. There is a bonding factor that engaging in those firsts with him brought to our marriage. Now, when I look back on the firsts, I see him. I see us. There is no comparison. There is no, "That other guy." There is only us.

I am not here to impose my values on others, but I would like to commend saving "firsts" for marriage, not in an ascetic "I kissed dating goodbye," way, or a legalistic, "we can't." Rather, out of respect and reverence for marriage and the sacredness of that covenant, I suggest waiting for things. Firsts are special. They only came once. One-hundred percent, waiting it is worth it, because the sacredness of the future marriage is worth it!

Saturday, March 8, 2025

Eats and Empties (Week 10)

The Eats:

Carne asada street taco bowls (Meal Prep in an Instant)

Homemade cruffins (Sally's Baking Addiction)-the baking challenge of the month, and it was a challenge!

Light and fluffy egg casserole (Meal Prep in an Instant)

Minestrone soup (Meal Prep in an Instant)

Simple French lentil soup (The Full Helping)

Sourdough sheet pan pancakes (Coco Et Sel)

The Empties:

Two pound bag of frozen broccoli
Old brown rice
Bag of baby carrots
Five pound bag of carrots
Two 32-ounce boxes of chicken broth
Old celery
Chia seeds
Chickpeas
Three 32 ounce boxes of chicken broth
Old chili powder
Frozen easy stovetop mac and cheese with jumbo shells (Great Value box recipe)
Twelve ounce bag of frozen green beans
Dry kidney beans
Dry lentils
Half gallon of milk
Twelve ounce bag of queso quesadilla cheese
Frozen onions
Homemade pizza sauce (Budget Bytes)
Red onion
Frozen ricotta stuffed shells
Head of romaine lettuce
Smoked paprika
Can of diced tomatoes
Dry white beans
Whole wheat macaroni noodles

What went to waste: 

Nothing that I know of

Monday, March 3, 2025

Afghan 84

Another one is done! I started this one using the yarn from afghans 80 and 82, and then had to make a run to Hobby Lobby to get more. (Thankfully I got there in time to get the last three skeins on the shelf!) All in all, this was, as the pattern claimed, an easy afghan. Although I started the edging with skepticism as to how it would turn out, I ended up liking the way it turned out. 

Hook: size J Boye ergonomic crochet hook

Yarn:

I Love This Yarn! turquoise

Pattern: Crochet baby blanket with easy border (Melanie Ham)

Finished size: 39 x 41 inches

Saturday, March 1, 2025

Eats and Empties (Week 9)


The Eats:

Chunky lentil and vegetable soup (Budget Bytes)

Fajita bowls (Meal Prep in an Instant)


Original Texas chili con carne (Serious Eats)--made by my husband

Ranch dressing (How Sweet Eats)

Roasted red pepper hummus (Kim's Cravings)


The Empties:

Top roast and tri-tip meat
Black beans
Frozen bell pepper
Old dried chives
Frozen chocolate muffins (The Toasted Pine Nut)
Old clementines
Fresh broccoli
Two pound bag of frozen broccoli
Two pound bag of shredded cheese
Two 32 ounce boxes of chicken broth
Carton of a dozen eggs
Marshmallows
Frozen onions
Red bell peppers
Five pound bag of potatoes
Head of romaine lettuce
Can of petite diced tomatoes
Slivered almonds

What went to waste:

Chunky lentil and vegetable soup (Budget Bytes) in a jar that I filled too full and put in the freezer, resulting in shattering of the glass and needing to throw away the soup

Friday, February 28, 2025

Everything I Read in February



The reading roll slowed this month. I struggled to start some books, and then had some fits and starts in my reading progress. I did still read quite a bit, though, including another series by Becky Wade! I think my favorite book was number 23. Maybe it was not the best written book, but a book that combined running with faith and redemption? Sign me up.

14) Just Look Up by Courtney Walsh—Someone shouts, “Just Look Up,” at Lane Kelley as she rushes into the hospital to see her brother Nate, who is in a coma. She would rather be anywhere else than Harbor Pointe, but yet here she is. In the hospital room, she sees her old friend Ryan Brooks, the only person she remembers ever being kind to her. Lane tries to return to work in Chicago after visiting her brother, but then a health scare returns her home. She is forced to consider making amends, with her family, with her friends, and with Ryan. This is a sweet story about reconciliation, and about realizing what one has if they just look up...from pain, phones, or whatever is right in front of their faces.

15) Tired of Trying: How to Hold On to God When You’re Frustrated, Fed Up & Feeling Forgotten by Ashley Morgan Jackson—This was an immensely helpful book. Intensely personal, and practical, it reflects both on Jackson's own journey through the wrestle of anxiety and depression, as well as on Jacob's wrestle with God. Jackson encourages seeking God for strength, receiving God's grace, and leaning into the tiredness of trying, rather than fighting it. It is through the wrestle, Jackson asserts, that believers found their identities in God and are able to live out their callings to serve gGod and others. I would highly recommend this book, particularly to women, but men could benefit from reading it, too.

16) True to You by Becky Wade—Admittedly, I has a hard time getting into this book. It was just so cheesy, or at least the character Nora Bradford was. Then the book got good. As with all of Wade’s books (or at least the ones I have read so far), this is not an open and shut happy ending. Just when it seems all will end well, a problem is introduced, a big one, a problem of evil that causes the characters to wrestle with God, and with themselves. In this book, Nora must learn to trust God’s will wholeheartedly. Navy Seal John Lawson must decide if he really believes what God’s word says about redemption and being a new creation. There are character developments brewing in Nora’s sisters Britt and Willow, too. Needless to say, I can’t wait to read the next book in this series!

17) Traveling Light: Releasing the Burdens You Were Never Intended to Bear by Max Lucado—This is a typical Max Lucado book—conversational, kind, devotional; like a chat with a friend. It’s also personal, sharing some of Lucado’s own burdens and blessings, and weighty, in that it packs in some truth from God’s word, specifically Psalm 23. The book challenges reads to look to the Lord, who is not only the Good Shepherd, but also the Light. While I didn’t use the study guide for this book, it does have solid questions that could lead readers deeper into letting go and living for God. This world is not the believer’s home. Heaven is, and we who call ourselves Jesus-followers would do well to heed the call to drop our burdens and live lighter as we journey our way there.

18) Falling for You by Becky Wade—Minor character, Mustang football player Corbin Gray from Her One and Only returns in this story about Bradford sister Willow. A famous model turned innkeeper while her parents are away, Willow fights unforgiveness, against Corbin, and herself. Meanwhile, circumstances like a search for missing person Josephine Blake bring Willow up against forgiveness time and time again. Once again, this is a book with a lot of real life struggles, and with that, some mature topics like affairs, promiscuity, and more. Wade clearly points to the power of the gospel, though, and it changes the lives of at least three characters as they experience reconciliation with God and others. Much better than the first book in The Bradford Sisters series, this one swept my heart away, and I say that in a good way!

19) Because of You by Becky Wade—Short and sweet, this is the Christmas romance story of Britt Bradford's employee Maddie Winslow and her longtime crush Leo Donnelly. Maddie has liked Leo for ages, but felt guilty about it, because Leo was her best friend Olivia's husband. Between the grief of losing Olivia tragically years earlier and the awkwardness of now, Maddie has not been sure what to do about her feelings. When a Christmas outreach opportunity brings Maddie and Leo together, sparks fly. Maddie learns to make peace with the fact that the Lord gives and takes away. Together, they consider the joy God has set before them, and that growing in relationship to each other might be part of that gift.

20) Sweet on You by Becky Wade—Wade weaves mystery, suspense, and intrigue into this last book of The Bradford Sisters series. Zander Ford returns from his overseas travels to mourn the sudden death of his uncle Frank and finds a mystery on his hands. Britt Bradford wrestles with the idea that everyone keeps proposing to her: that Zander might want to be more than her best friend. The Bradford parents return from their mission trip. Nora marries John Lawson. Clint and Nikki start dating. The conclusion to all the stories is pretty dramatic, focusing on deep spiritual truths and the power of vulnerability. The second book in this series, Because of You, was probably my favorite, but I have to give the author props for the way that she tied up all the loose ends in this series closer. Props to her!

21) The Astronaut’s Wife: How Launching My Husband Into Outer Space Changed the Way I Live On Earth by Stacey Morgan—An engaging and insightful book, this memoir describes Stacey Morgan’s life not only as astronaut’s wife, but also an armed services wife and mom of four. Using an engaging writing style that goes back into the past while narrating the present, Morgan vulnerably shares her story. She writes of her hopes and her hangups, of the value of community, having fun, etc. The peak into the life of an astronaut returning during COVID may be of special interest to some. All in all, this was a good book with nuggets of trust that a reader can apply to everyday life, since few will be astronauts, or astronauts' wives.

22) 
The Best of You: Break Free From Painful Patterns, Mend Your Past, & Discover Your True Self in God by Dr. Alison Cook—This isn’t a theological book. It’s a psychological one, written by a doctorate level professional with both personal and work experiences related to being human. With that being said, I think this book does a great job of integrating faith and psychology. It is very easy to read and very accessible. (I would recommend this book before Aundi Kolber’s Try Softer—also a helpful book, but much more technical.” Each chapter begins with a vignette and ends with reflection questions that help readers explore further and apply concepts. Cook’s basic premise is that a strong sense of self is necessary to both knowing God and serving others. This might seem a bit backward, but for women who have been accustomed to ignoring themselves and playing small, this is a concept worth considering. All in all, I think this is a book that points directly to God, and correct theology or not, He is where the best lies, and in the end, He is who matters!

23) Chasing Hope by Kathryn Cushman—Brandy Philip has one shot at staying out of juvenile detention: working with previous collegiate runner Sabrina Rice. Neither wants to work with the other, but their grandmothers, being friends, implore them to do so. With fits and starts, Brandy starts running, and Sabrina battles the factors that prevented her from finishing her running career. This is a redemptive tale that wraps up perhaps a bit too neatly in the end, but was still so encouraging and inspiring. I look forward to reading more by this author, as she is new to me.

24)
The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Child by William Sears, M.D., and Martha Sears, R.N.—Admittedly, this book is not quite what I was looking for. I was looking for a book about attachment science and forming healthy relationships between parent and child. This was more of a baby rearing book, and a dated (24 year-old) one at that. Still, I think it was interesting to read about the Sears' stance on attachment parenting (eg wearing babies in slings) and promoting attachment and bonding through proximity and attuned care. It is a bummer that the book is written primarily to moms, but it does promote respect for the hard work of moms and encourage fathers to be involved in parenting, too. For that, I give the Sears' kudos. I will probably look more for attachment theory books than attaching parenting books to inform my work, but if anyone wants an attachment parenting book, here is one!

Thursday, February 27, 2025

Strong(er) in February

I realized this month that I have been equating strength with "hard." It can be hard to make time and find focus to read my Bible. Sometimes I want to listen to another podcast before The Bible Recap (and sometimes I think I have).

Selflessly serving my spouse is hard. Not arguing is hard. Accepting help is hard. Sometimes we find it hard to fit in dates (though thankfully we fit in a few this month).

Pulling-up to the top of the pull-up bar is hard (and I cannot even always physically do it). It is hard to push paces in run training. Fitting in physical therapy is hard. 

Life is not all hard, though. And there is that saying, "Choose your hard." I have chosen to prioritize reading my Bible. I chose my spouse when I married him. I decided that I wanted physical therapy to work, so I committed to work the exercises. I reminded myself on a workout this week that I get to run. No one is chasing me.

Is all my hard work building strength? Maybe not in externally obvious ways yet, but surely they build mental strength, something I did not aim to build, but nonetheless benefits me. To be fair, I did see my work pay off in the 10K, and I thought I saw muscles in one of my race photos. For as many years as I have spent picking my body apart, this made me proud. I also managed to convince my physical therapist that I had gained enough strength to graduate and do exercises on my own again.

Thank you, Lord, for this body. Thank you, Lord for this life. It may not be easy. It may just be hard, but you give me the strength to endure, survive, and sometimes even thrive day to day. I praise you!



Monday, February 24, 2025

Powerlessness and Prayer


I felt somewhat desperate about a couple of situations this past week. I was not stressing, so much as distressing, because there was absolutely nothing I could do. I was powerless. And so I prayed.

I don't know what it is about prayer that it becomes my last resort. I should pray. All along, in between, and at the end, when I feel powerless, I should pray. And yet that point of powerlessness is what most often brings me to my knees.

Someone asked me how I was processing the deep sorrow of these situations. I responded that I was thankful that my mom taught me the power of prayer. And therein lies the rub. I know that prayer works. I know the power of it, and yet I don't always call on God first.

Praying about my powerless situations provides solace. It provides peace. It didn't necessarily change anything, and it might not ever. But it helps me know that I have agency to do something. And that changes me. Now if God can only change my heart so that I more readily come to him first, rather than last. It is when I forget the truth of God's power that I am truly powerless, because without Him, and access to Him through the power of prayer, I truly am nothing!

Saturday, February 22, 2025

Eats and Empties (Week 8)

The Eats:

Comforting pork stew with dumplings (Molly's Home Guide)

Slow cooker vegetarian lentil chili (Budget Bytes)

The Empties:

Cajun peanuts (Cajun Cooking Recipes)  
Bag of baby carrots
Five pound bag of whole carrots
Thirty-two ounce box of chicken broth
Chocolate tart cherry seed balls (Rise and Run
Dozen egg carton
Greek yogurt
Twelve ounce bag of frozen green beans
Old ginger
Frozen Middle Eastern lentil vegetable soup (More with Less Cookbook)
Half gallon of good milk
Half gallon of milk that soured
Five pound bag of potatoes
Frozen Scottish inspired mushroom lentil stew (Oatrageous Oatmeals)
Can of diced tomatoes
Can of tomato paste

What went to waste:

Nothing that I know of!

Thursday, February 20, 2025

Afghan 83


Special blankets are for special people! Bestie requested green and/or sunflowers for her baby, and a Google search delivered both in this pattern from The Caffeinated Snail. This is my first blanket with a wave border, worked backwards and then forwards, as well as my first blanket with applique. Overall, though, the pattern was extremely accessible. The creator even gave options for a simpler border, and making the applique without a magic ring (the latter option which I took).

Hook: size J 
Boye ergonomic crochet hook

Yarn:

Caron Simply Soft white

Loops & Threads sage

Scrap yellow and black

Pattern: 

Crochet sunflower blanket (The Caffeinated Snail)

Finished size:  36 x  36 inches 

(For once, a blanket actually turned out the size that it was supposed to. I did have to add a few rows past what the creator suggested to get the white the right size, though. Maybe I just actually followed the pattern this time...)

Saturday, February 15, 2025

Eats and Empties (Week 7)

The Eats:

Buttermilk oatmeal pancakes (All Recipes)

Chocolate tart cherry seed balls (Rise and Run

Easy eggless baked oatmeal (Mommy's Home Cooking)

Matzo ball soup (The Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook)

Perfect Welsh rarebit (Easy Cheesy Vegetarian


Northern style lasagna (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook

Peanut butter chocolate lava cakes (Sally's Baking Addiction)

Roasted broccoli with blue cheese (KTA Super Stores) and balsamic glaze (Love and Lemons)

Strawberry white hot chocolate (The Speckled Palate)

The Empties:

Jar of applesauce
Bottle of balsamic vinegar
Blue cheese
Two pound bag of frozen broccoli
Thirty-two ounce box of chicken broth
Frozen chicken broth
Can of chicken noodle soup
Dates
Green onions
Herbal chai tea
Box of lasagna noodles
Twelve ounce bag of mozzarella cheese
Three pound bag of onions
Twelve ounce bag of Parmesan
Frozen Pumpkin pizza (Food Faith Fitness) (Using ultimate no-knead whole wheat pizza dough from Handle the Heat
Frozen turkey chili smothered sweet potatoes (Budget Bytes)
Frozen sourdough chocolate chip muffins (Living Well with Mandy)
Sunflower seeds
Sweet potatoes
Twenty-eight ounce can of diced tomatoes
White chocolate baking bar
Bag of white chocolate chips

What went to waste:

The half gallon of milk soured, but I am working to use it up, so it is not wasted yet!

Monday, February 10, 2025

Real Life Marriage: It Isn't (Always) About the Romance.


I am most often the one pushing for dates in our marriage. I like the adventure. I like the romance. I like spending time outside the house, focused on enjoying life with my husband instead of getting distracted by all the trappings of life. Recently, however, I had one of the best days with my husband, and pretty much all we did was sit at home. Why was it such a good day? Because as time has passed our love has become not just a romantic love, but a companionate one, too.

Before we got married, dating did bring on all the butterflies and zings and pleasant feelings. It was exhilarating to spend time with someone I liked, and then loved so much. We did not share a life or home together, so every moment we got to spend together felt special and sparkling. Then we got married. Sharing life together was awesome. Everything was new. We still dated (well at least until COVID hit and shut the world down). I still got the flutters, at least sometimes.

I still get the heart pitter-patters sometimes when I see my husband, but more often, it's like my heart swells with love. He is my person, and I am his. It's not that we are the best of friends. (I still argue that it is beneficial to have other friends.) It's that we are committed. It's that we share so much of life together. It's that our life is together.

My husband says he doesn't need dates so much anymore. He just wants to spend time with me. I push back on that (and I still probably will, at least sometimes), but maybe I am starting to get it. There is something to just being able to relax and be in one another's presence. The best part of that day was not the meals we ate together or the new movie we viewed. Rather, at least for me, it was laying on his shoulder and looking at the city website to get updates on the projects near our house. Romantic? Maybe not. Indicative of the safety and life we have built with one another? Absolutely!

I am not arguing that we should throw away romance, or stop dating. I plan to do neither. Rather, I hope that I can keep growing in my appreciation for these moments of "ordinary" life. Really, they are not ordinary. They are gifts from God, because I had gotten to a point where I thought I would always be alone in life, and God, in his grace granted me this love, this forever romance.

Saturday, February 8, 2025

Sub 50: A New PR at the 2025 Mesa 10K

My pre-race peptalk: Running a sub-50 10K is a big, hairy, audacious goal, maybe the biggest running goal I have set yet. But with the Lord's help, I think I can do it. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, it will probably hurt. But I can give myself or excuses, or try. If I try and fall short, I have a shot at a PR, and that, if not the moon, could at least land me in star zone. And if I fail? Try, try again. Or decide I don't want to. This isn't life and death....


(Apparently I was no the only one thinking about this.)

And with that, I set off to run. More than once, I though about hobby jogging it. Midway through, my paces started to drop, and I thought it might be a "Positive splits for positive people" type race, even if I met my sub-50 goal. And then, by God's grace, I did it! And is 47:43! Here's part of what it took to get there:

The Training:

I ran the Mesa half-marathon last February, a 5K in November, and then Tucson Marathon. I did Hal Higdon's (n.d.) return to running program for three weeks, and then moved into the appropriate week (based on weeks until race date) of Run's (2024) Sub-50 minute 10K program. I tried to be careful. PT helped the hip that hurt post marathon, but I still had a cranky right foot. I did not, and could not, hit the paces prescribed until the two weeks right before the marathon (and that was only in my racing shoes). A sub-50 10K seemed possible, but definitely not certain, especially given that my last PR was 51:06, and when you only have 6.2 miles to run, you have to shave a lot off every mile to get to a new level.

The Day Before:


I went to the Hoka shakeout run to demo the new Cielo X1 2.0 and then tried to stay off my feet. I felt unbothered by the race, until I wasn't. Around lunchtime, I realized that I had not run a 10K in about two years, and that made me a little frazzled. Having spent so much time over the past year preparing for longer distances, it felt foreign to not be carb loading, to only have 6.2 miles to run, and to know that I would have a day ahead of me after my race. I did manage to eat a little higher carb Friday, however. I also went to bed early, not quite enough to get seven hours of sleep, but close enough.

Race morning:


Race morning was beautiful, about fifty degrees, and clear. I got up at 4 am, did my PT exercises, got dressed, went up and down the stairs five times (my pre-run "warm-up") and out the door we went at 4:40 am. My husband is an amazing navigator and took a back way to the bus drop off, and that was, for a change, not a problem at all. The buses left about 5 am, and dropped us off around 5:15 am. The workers told us we had 0.25 miles to walk to the start, but it was more like 0.25 miles to the porta potties, which were once again, in the dark (can we please fix this next year, Mesa)?, and then another 0.25 miles to the start line. I used the porta potties when I got there, and then I sat down on the curb for a while. I ate my banana at 5:40 am and went for a mile warm-up. I decided to use the porta-potties again, but then I still had about 30 minutes until the start, so I decided to do another warm-up mile. Each time, I included a few fartlek strides, as per my research on 10K race prep (Brooks, 2023). I opted to get back in the bathroom line again at that point, feeling like I *might* need it. I got out of the bathroom at like 6:20 am, so barely had time to jog to the start. It was at that point that I realized I needed water if I wanted to take a gel. I swiped one cup to dump over my hands, took a few sips of the other, and then took a caffeinated vanilla bean GU. A short three minutes later, we were off!

Mile 1:

I started off way too fast (that, or my watch was off). The paces said 7:10-7:30/mile and felt good. I decided to keep at it. A little over half a mile in, my pace settled at 7:45/mile, and that was what my first mile clocked.

Mile 2:

Mile two still felt good, and I kept pace with the woman in front of me. I saw my husband at the corner of the street where our house is, gave him an "I love you" sign, and kept running. The water at the aid station looked appealing, but by the time I realized that, I was past it. I kept going: Another 7:45/mile.

Mile 3:

I started to fall off pace during mile three. I lost step with the woman in front of me. I told myself that it might be a "positive splits for positive people" race, but I was still on pace for sub-50, so I kept going. Somewhere around partway through, I got back on pace. That mile was 7:48/mile.

Mile 4: 

I was doing okay, but still not up with the woman in front of me. I told myself to get through to five, and then push. This was another 7:45/mile.

Mile 5:

Mile five got a little better. A few people were moving back and forth in the pack. I started to get out by myself, though. That's okay. I was doing well and I told myself to get ready to push starting at 5.2. I hit hit 7:38/mile.

Mile 6:

I started trying to run faster! I began my practice of counting down from 100. I knew it would only take four or five times and I would be at the finish! I hit four, and then I could see the line. I whittled down to 7:27/mile.

The Finish:


At the corner, I was pretty much by myself. I could see the line. I was by myself and people were cheering. I pushed. It was 7:04 for the last 0.2, and 47:43 for the finish. I raised my hands as I crossed, and then got my medal. Shortly after, my husband started calling me. I didn't see him at the finish, but he had seen me. Sweet!

Post race:



I collected a water and chocolate milk. Sprouts gave us a snack bag with a protein bar (thank you races for realizing runners need protein for recovery!), chips, and fruit. Some other booths had juice and frozen treats. I got my time card and took my medal to get engraved with my time (such a cool feature this year-thanks, Hoka)! I picked up my bag, and then went back to the finish line to wait for the half marathoners. I got to see the leading men and women finish. Pretty cool!

I drank water standing at the finish. I should have eaten a protein bar then, but I didn't want to. The lactic acid definitely accumulated, and when I walked to the car, I felt it in both my biceps and hamstrings. I did get in protein and carbs when I got home, but recovery probably would have been better had I actually got nutrition in that 30 minute post-race window. Work for the future!

Final thoughts:


Long run training really does build your aerobic engine (or whatever they call it). I always thought people who ran before the race were crazy, but I saw all the elites doing it on race day, and I am finding it helps me, too. I don't like fueling so much, but it makes a difference, and as long as I try to avoid over fueling to the point of stomach upset, I would rather over fuel than leave things on the race table. Lighter, faster, plated shoes also help make PRs.

I am so thankful for this race, for my husband's support, for the God who made my body, for health, and for so, so much more. Running is a gift, not one everyone gifts, and never guaranteed. May I never take running for granted and always give thanks to God for it!

References:

Brooks, A. (2023, May 18). Tips for 10K race day: Pacing, strategy, and fuel. Run to the finish. https://runtothefinish.com/tips-10k-race-day/

Higdon, H. (n.d.). Post marathon recovery: Novice. Hal Higdon. https://www.halhigdon.com/training-programs/post-marathon-recovery/novice-post-marathon/

Run. (2024, December 28). Run your fastest 10K ever with these training plans. https://run.outsideonline.com/training/training-plans/5k-10k/training-plans-fastest-10k-ever/?scope=anon