Real Life Marriage: We Stress Each Other Out!

"Who in your life causes you the most stress? What do they do that causes it?" The couples connection questions asked. I tried to caveat my answers. I tried to add nuance. Nevertheless, my answer remained: my husband. He is the person I care most about in the world. He is the one person from I really cannot separate myself. Boundaries be had or not, he stresses me out!

I wondered what my husband would say when he answered the questions. Honestly, waiting for him to answer made me a little nervous. Eventually, he gave me a smirk and I was pretty sure I knew his answer.

"Me?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied. And he nuanced his answer a little bit too. "I think anybody who is married would answer the same way," he said (or something like that).

I know I am a lot to put up with. I am my own ball of stress and nerves, and I know that affects my husband. I don't try to be a pain in the neck, but I am. At times, I am not sure I am worth it, but at this point, my husband is committed, and he is a man of his word.

I was honestly somewhat relieved by his answer, though. The fact that I stress him out shows that he does care about me. The fact that he is not bothered by that fact is reassuring. I think I do stress him out, but on my side, it is more me stressing about him that is the stressor. My husband is low needs, and he would like me to do less (and tells me as much), but that is hard for me. I do care about his health and well-being and happiness, and I monitor it more than I do for anyone else. He is part of me. If we go with the biblical definition of one flesh, he is me. I want to take care of him. I want to take care of us. I want to take care of me.

So there you have it. My husband and I are each other's greatest stressors. I'm not proud of the sin that causes me to stress my husband, but I am thankful that he accepts that responsibility. On my side, I am thankful that I get to have a husband to be a stressor. Marriage is not a gift everyone gets. So, good or bad, for better or for worse, here's to stress, and to maybe learning to stress less as God grows and matures us in our marriage.