Real Life Marriage: Sweet Spot

We were saving for a big trip this year, which limited our spending on date nights. That was a point of contention, as I tried to find free or low cost things to do, while my husband said we should just spend the money and worry about it later. Somehow, though, by God's great grace, we hit our sweet spot.

I think it all started with our Mogollon day trip adventure. My husband planned that, and the whole time we walked out in nature, we talked about our dreams. Many of those dreams involved adventuring. Next thing I knew, my husband told me he had a list of adventures he wanted to take. I said, "Let's talk about it," and we did. We sat down and mapped out dates for all of those adventures. And slowly, but surely, we started easing into that sweet spot. I became willing to break routine a little more often. My husband started taking more initiative, and suddenly there we were, in the car, driving to new places and spaces, out in nature, having fun. This is what I had wanted, for so, so long!

I don't know what it was exactly that broke us out of our contentious, "We can't spend money," but we want to spend time together cycle, but we did it, and it benefit our relationship greatly. I found myself having more patience when my husband shared more of his dreams with me (which of course, cost money!). He offered to help me more around the house. It's like somehow, we just got back in sync with each other.

This past month was the month of our big trip. Honestly, I was low-key dreading it all year. It was big leap, a lot out of my comfort zone, and my husband's dream, not mine. After getting into this swing of adventuring together, though, I felt my heart starting to change. Maybe I could enjoy this trip. Maybe it would be fun. Maybe it, too, would be an adventure.

While we enjoyed the trip, we also again hit some bits of contention. They were painful and hard, and just might have pushed us out of our sweet spot. But by God's grace, we got there once, and I pray that we might again find ourselves in that sweet spot of enjoying and prioritizing each other.

What We Cooked and Ate (Week 41)

This Week's Eats:

Cashew milk (Cookie and Kate)

Dinner cooked by my husband!

Easy lava cake bites (Meal Prep in an Instant)

Instant Pot cock-a-leekie soup (365 Days of Slow + Pressure Cooking)

Pumpkin spice coffee creamer (The Gracious Pantry)

Sourdough crumpets (The Pantry Mama)

Steel-cut oats with brown sugar and honey (Meal Prep in an Instant)

Noteworthy Repeats:

Egg bake casserole (Food 52)

Freezer Pull-Outs:

Artisan pumpkin sourdough bread (The Pantry Mama)

Sourdough pumpkin pie baked oatmeal (The Pantry Mama)

Soft pumpkin sourdough bread (Drive Me Hungry)

Sourdough gravy (The Pantry Mama)

Ireland Adventures: Day 6

What a packed final day! Fairview Park Run in the morning, Phoenix Park midday, Guinness tour in the afternoon, and my husband's 40th birthday. Whew! I was tired.

The park run is its own post, so I will say that from there, we trucked back to our hotel, cleaned up, and headed back out on the bus for Phoenix Park. Sure, we could have taken a cab, but a bus was much cheaper.

Phoenix Park is home to 600 deer, and according to its website, supports 50% of mammal species in Ireland and 40% of bird species. We got off near the water, seeing lots of birds and Wellington Monument before traipsing through the park looking for deer. Sadly, we saw none, but we did see lots of green, plenty of people running, and Magazine Fort.

Then it was a hike to the Guinness Storehouse for a tour. This was my husband's wish for his birthday. I am not really into beer, but the immersive audio-visual experience with things like water drops spelling out words was pretty cool. The building is five stories, and the Gravity bar up top has amazing views of Dublin. It was also very loud and overstimulating (maybe purposely so, to keep things moving-there were A LOT of people!), so I was glad to move on. The climb down many flights of stairs, though, that was a bit of a feat, especially after our days of hiking and walking and my run in the morning. As a whole, this was more entertainment than tour of a working brewery as my husband had thought, but he said he enjoyed it, so win!

We finished at Guinness Open Gate Brewery, and I was so thankful to get food. It may have been early, and one again a lot of food, but I devoured it. Then we walked back to our hotel, passing some now familiar sights like Christ's Church Cathedral. We walked over Ha'Penny bridge once more time, passed the Spire one more time, and almost collapsed at our hotel, but first, we had some celebrating to do!

My husband turned 40 this day! So I traipsed back up our stairs one more time to get tarts and candles so we could sing and celebrate him. What a trek for his birthday, but I hope we get many much such experiences, and many more years together to celebrate in the future!

Fairview Park Run 5K

I was supposed to have my skeletal reset week on week one of our vacation, but my physical therapist accidentally wrote an extra week of run minutes into my return to run plan. When I saw that, I decided to see if there were any park runs near our hotel. I had read about European park runs online, and sure enough, I found one! I asked if I could steal some of my husband's birthday morning to run, and he graciously agreed!

But first up, the eating. The website said no toilets at the park, so I drank my coffee with RNWY collagen by 7 AM. I had some porridge with toppings and about four ounces of lemon water by 7:30 AM, and then we left for the bus about 8:30 AM.

It had been chilly (to me) the last few mornings, so I opted for a dry wicking tee and capri pants, versus the tank top and shorts I had set out. I packed some protein in a shaker bottle to drink afterwards and off we headed.

I had not planned to use the bathroom before the race, but of course I needed to. We arrived at the park around 9 AM, and I could see where the run was, so I hopped over to a coffee shop and bought a flapjack so I could use their toilet. Then off the park for the run.

Goals:

I was allowed to run 30-35 minutes this day, and I just wanted to run. I knew I should not push the pace, nevertheless try to sprint, as this could be harder on my bones. So I just ran for the joy of it!

The Run:

The run was three laps through the park, each about a mile, and then into a finish shoot. The course was a combination of paved trail, grass, and dirt/light gravel. The course went through some trees, along the run, down the river, and then back around. Volunteer marshals directed runners, and even cheered for us as we ran. One lady clapped and yelled, "You can do this. You can do it" through the entire run, I think!

Mile 1 was a warm-up mile in 8:52, mile 2 a little faster in 8:41, and mile 3 in 8:39. It's not even marathon pace, but faster than I have run in months! I kept telling myself to enjoy this, as it would be the last time I could run for a week. But, by God's grace, having survived months of no running, I was pretty sure I would make it.

I came in at 27:27 on my watch, grabbed my token, and then went and scanned my barcode to register results. I ran eight minutes more (wanting to squeeze out every minute of running that I could), and then we got back on the bus.

Results:

The official results in the Parkrun app said 27:40. Fair. I didn't start at the front of the pack, and I think they use gun time. I really don't care. I got to run. I got to run in Ireland. My husband let me steal part of his special day. I was super happy.

Final Thoughts:

I really don't know why the Phoenix area doesn't do park runs. Are we just too busy and too selfish to volunteer? Do people care too much about medals? I don't know. What I do know is that we have lots of parks in Phoenix and besides the heat, they would make great places for park runs. Anyone want to start a local park run movement?

Ireland Adventures: Day 5

We planned to Kilkenny this day. After two days of walking over 30,000 plus steps, though, my husband thought it would be best to take the morning slower to see how we felt. Unfortunately (or fortunately), I woke up early. While we had plenty of cardio, I had not done much with weights, so I decided to finish my physical therapy exercises for the week and see how I felt. Feeling good, I also followed along with the newest Nourish Move Love workout video, using the hotel gym dumbbells. While I probably could have lifted heavier, my goal was to get in some weights, and I did!

We delayed breakfast until 8:30 AM, so that we could go as a group with family. (Room members have to all go at once, and parties have to all go together.) I was hungry! This day I had porridge with all the toppings, turkey and smoked salmon for protein, a cappuccino, another cup of coffee, and more smoked salmon, tomato, and mushrooms to round this out. 

We discussed Kilkenny at breakfast. Seeing that trains left in 14 minutes, or two hours, we decided to nix it. It just did not make sense to use to leave on a noon train, ride two hours, arrive at 3 PM, spend only an hour or so there, and then need to hop on another two hour train back to the hotel, which would put arriving into the night. Instead of all that, we opted for local sightseeing.

But first we went back to Carroll's and Dunnes. We wanted more souvenirs for our friends, and I wanted Weetabix to take home as my souvenir. At six pounds ($6.85 US), importing it back into the US would be way cheaper than paying over $25 for the same box on Amazon. Knowing that we were nearing our next stop, where we would stay in a hotel without such a luscious breakfast spread, we also elected to buy some breakfast items: traditional Irish hot cross buns for my husband, and crumpets for me. We would have to wait to try them, though.

After that, it was off to see the sights. Our first destination was the Hungry Tree, an 80 year old park tree that is growing over a bench. I read about it online and thought it would be cool to see. On the way, we visited various churches (both on my wish list, and not-read about that in my Churches of Ireland post). The Hungry Tree was at Constitution Hall, so we also saw that. We took a few photos, and then set off again.

We found more churches on our route to the Jameson Distillery where various family members wanted to shop. They offered free toilet use, as well as free water, things very few in Ireland do. We didn't do their tour or anything, just looked around and continued on our way.

We viewed the rest of the main churches on my list (mostly all in a row), and then, to my surprise, were close enough to get to St. Kevin's Church Ruins. We tried to see Dublin Castle, but it was under construction and mostly blocked from view. We did catch Dublin City Hall and the Cork Hill Gate.

My husband had been hankering for a chicken fillet (a fried chicken sandwich on a hoagie roll), so we ran back to Dunnes for that. Back at the hotel, he put his feet up. I attempted to download and categorize photos from the day (something I have learned to do because my memory quickly gets convoluted and/or fades). We both napped a little. I worked on this blog. Then off to Grand Central Cafe Bar for dinner, where we would get my husband's other Ireland wish list meal, bangers and mash.

I got the Stag’s Head Signature Ham and Cheese Toastie. Note that it was on sourdough!

He got sticky toffee pudding for dessert. It was good, but also not what we expected. 

All in all, it was a very successful day of sightseeing, crossing off all of my wish-list items. I only wish it could be that way for my husband. He said he wanted to make sure I was happy so I would want to travel again. Fair point, though this trip was really for him!

Ireland Adventures: Day 4

Up and about early for day four! I just stretched in the morning, as we planned to go hiking. Having had some stomach distress the day earlier, I decided to go for a bland breakfast. I expected the Weetabix to to be like bland, dry shredded wheat, but to my surprise, found that they melted into the milk and had a slightly sweet taste. This day, I also tried muesli and yogurt and topped off the morning with a mocha made from the automatic coffee machine. Mmm!

We walked 1.62 miles through some cool neighborhoods to catch the bus. We rode two hours on the top deck, and then hopped a single bus to Glendalough Visitor's Center. This was a bit rough, as my husband got nauseous, and there was another woman on the second bus who apparently felt the same, as she vomited during our ride. That was unpleasant, probably more for them than for me, but still not great.

The visitor's center is on the site of the round tower and monastic ruins, and we explored those first.

It was apparently school field trip day, and the place was filled with kids (as well as with other tourists). Once we moved away from them, we chose less traveled trails. I felt very good and energetic and wanted to keep walking. Somehow, we got up the Spinc trail. It was as bit steep, but had gorgeous views.

As we kept walking, we realized we were on a long trail. We thought about turning back, but my husband kind of wanted to keep going. "I don't know if we'll ever get to do this again," he said. That was good perspective. I didn't want to be fatalistic, but the truth is that life and health are not guaranteed. Who knows if we will do this again.

We went slow, but steady. I started dreading needing to turn back and retrace our steps. Thankfully, we made it: over hill, over dale, past sheep and deer; over a boardwalk, through the ruins of an old mining village, past waterfalls, and then back along the lake to the visitor center. We were definitely underprepared with only one water bottle each, and some snacks, but we did it.

The bus rides home were a little better, but with traffic took a while. It was past dinner time when we got back, so we stopped to order takeaway (take-out) fish and chips. The people of Ireland are so kind! The waitress vinegared our fish before packing it, and then helped me bag up the boxes for my walk back. On thing about Ireland: they give disposable bamboo silverware and use boxes rather than styrofoam. Yeah for sustainability! I didn't expect to eat three pieces of fried sole and an entire box of chips (French fries), but I did. I also normally don't like tartar sauce, but this was good stuff. Dinner: demolished! (And then I was hungry again later.)

This was definitely a red letter day, rough rides and all. Ireland was pretty awesome, but after this mountain-top experience, pretty much everything else, well, faded in comparison.

Ireland Adventures: Day 3

Up, up and away for day three! I thought this might be a lighter walking day, so I chose to go for a run before breakfast. The city was a bit interesting, so I decided to run on the hotel treadmill. This was in the basement of the hotel, where it felt like the catacombs. (Lights came on by motion sensor.) First up, I noticed the treadmill was in kilometers, not miles. Hmm. I used my watch to track. I came back and stretched. Then off to the breakfast buffet. Man, was it a buffet!

Staff checked us in using our room number, seated us at restaurant tables, and then let us do our thing. I went for a (partial) Irish breakfast: baked beans, tomatoes, mushrooms, and fried eggs. They did ask if we wanted coffee, and yes, we did, so we helped ourselves to that. I took back some baked goods for snack, because I couldn't get close to trying anywhere near what they had.

We walked to the bus stop, and then took a bus across town. Then it was a hike to the Pohlberg Lighthouse. We had planned this trip from the beginning, and even seen the lighthouse from the air. Well, the walk around the coast was gorgeous: sun glinting off the water, seeing for miles, etc. The pier, made of hewn stone, was also cool. Unfortunately, the lighthouse was underwhelming, but the experience was totally worth it. We walked 6.86 miles, and that was only the lighthouse walk. 

We made another souvenir stop on the way back to the hotel, at Weaver's of Ireland. We specifically stopped to by the knit lamb keychains that are Ireland's take on the labubu. I came back and took a nap. My husband ventured out to get some lunch, but unfortunately got accosted on the way. A man ran at him, threatened to slash his face, and told him to walk a certain way down the street. All the while, my husband said, people just kept walking by. That shook my husband up a bit, so he came back to the hotel instead of getting lunch. Later, he went and made a report to the Garda (Ireland's police). They said that if they found a man matching that description and he had a knife, they would arrest him. In Ireland, carrying a knife is apparently a crime in and of itself. My husband carried bruises from that assault through the rest of our trip.

After I woke up, we walked out to see Christ Church Cathedral and the site of Neal's Music Hall. I grew up listening to Handel's Messiah every Christmas, and this was the first place people performed it. I took lots of pictures to show my family.

We made dinner reservations at Gallagher's Boxty House, my one request for the trip. My husband and I shared a boxty platter so I could try all the potato things: potato loaf, potato dumplings, traditional boxty pancake, and boxty fries. All were good, but also a little underwhelming. We shared some bread and butter pudding with a side of vanilla ice cream (less sweet again, for the win). Then it was back to the hotel to try to get some sleep before our next day's plans.