February Fun

February is kind of a slump month. January is over. Resolutions have faded. Real life has begun. Last February, I essentially started Lent early, fasting from activities I deemed "fun." I hoped living the ascetic life would promote more productivity, more focus, more regulation. Spoiler alert. It didn't. So this year, I am trying something different. I am trying to overcome the February slump by adding fun. In that vein, I'm planning to post things that have brought me fun each Friday. These could be activities, events, fun articles, etc., just whatever brings me fun.

First, what is fun? For the purpose of this project, I am just going to go with the definition of play. Gretchen Rubin (2018) defines play in her book, The Happiness Project as: “an activity that’s very satisfying, has no economic significance, doesn’t create social harm, and doesn’t necessarily lead to praise or recognition.” Brene Brown (2010), in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, links in fun, writing that we play for the sake of play. We do it because it's fun and we want to" (p. 100). Annie F. Downs (2021) talks about fun in terms of being an amateur. Whatever it is, it is supposed to be lighthearted, not necessarily easy, but not arduous either. so without further ado, fun from this week:

-I organized pictures and made a sunrise photo album on my computer. Organizing things brings me joy. It's fun

-I ate lunch while walking around the park. Maybe not the best for my digestion, but it was fun!

-I took pictures of my overnight oats in a peanut butter jar.

(Are we noticing a theme here? I like taking pictures. This is no surprise to family and friends who find me constantly snapping away.)

-I made a list of different things I could do 52 of this year (you know, for 52 weeks). This started with the Taco Tuesday cookbook, and now I wonder what else I could do. I have to be  careful that this does not turn into another stress, but for now, it is fun.

-I took pictures of tea I have tried so far (the start of a 52 list?)

-I started walking on the treadmill. I have never liked treadmills, but for some reason, it has appealed to me lately. I don't have to go outside. I know how much time X number of miles will take me. I get on and zone out and just read books on Libby (the library app on my phone). It's calming, too!

-I bought new nail polish. Nail polish is self care for me. Picking it out was fun! I had wanted glitter, and glitter, iridescent is what I got.

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I hope to continue the fun this next week. I will probably keep doing some of these things. Maybe I will add others. Lord willing, I will keep you updated.

References:

Brown, B. (2010). The gifts of imperfection. Hazelden Publishing.

Downs, A.F. (2021). That sounds fun: The joys of being an amateur, the power of falling in love, and why you need a hobby. Revell Publishing.

Rubin, G. (2018). The happiness project. Harper Collins Publishers.

Learning From Lent

I started practicing Lent years ago, probably ten years ago at this point. It was hard then, and it is hard now. Some years I haven't practiced, but most years, I get convicted about something I need to give up. I don't want to fast, but eventually I succumb to the Spirit and do it. The first days and weeks of fasting this year seemed long (and Lent was a whole 46 days this year). The last few days, I wanted to quit, but then Easter came and I was grateful I fasted, grateful for this ritual and spiritual discipline that teaches me so much year in and year out.

Easter this year admittedly felt a lot different. It was more somber, less celebratory, but it was still Easter, and Christ is risen. Hallelujah! And because Christ is risen, we have the Holy Spirit, and it is that Spirit that convicted me to fast.

This year I fasted from three things: listening to music or podcasts in my car, tea, and chocolate. I have fasted from all three of these before, but never in conjunction. This year, I felt convicted to give up all three, to let Jesus take their place. I fasted from these practices and things for many reasons, but mostly because I tend to overuse them for comfort. There is no harm in finding comfort in God's good gifts, but when the gifts become more important than the Giver, there's a problem. I was bordering on that: drowning my thoughts (and prayers) out with music in the car, drowning my hunger and longings in tea up to three times a day, and looking to chocolate to give me peace to sleep. So essentially, I gave up comfort for Lent.

Almost immediately, I felt the ache of my loss. My thoughts assaulted me as I drove. The commutes to and from work seemed extra long. I felt the ache in my belly from not having tea. I missed the lingering at the table after meals as I sipped. I missed the calmness of the tea's warmth as it slipped down my throat. I couldn't figure out what to eat as a nighttime snack. But as I faithfully stuck with the fast, God started to show me benefits. My doctor told me my vertigo might be due to my electrolyte balance being off. My mom told me drinking less liquids would help. Well, fasting from tea took care of that recommendation! I started to notice that I was hungry after a lot of meals, and drinking less tea made room for more food and more energy (a sore lack these days). I recognized that I could eat a lot of different things for snack and started to figure out what did and didn't satisfy, thereby enlarging my repertoire. Then COVID-19 hit, and I saw even more reasons the Lord may have prompted me to fast. Having no radio on in the car meant less exposure to news. I became more and more grateful for a small space free from virus talk. (The overhead freeway signs and billboards reminded me of COVID enough.) I found that I could use my commute time to pray, or call those I loved and could not visit. I found that could discipline myself to sit and linger at the table without tea, if rest was what I needed. Groceries became more random (though not scarce-thankfully we have food), so having variety to my snacks helped me roll with the flow of food.  And now that I can find no powdered milk anyway, I have ideas of what I can enjoy besides my preferred hot chocolate mix. I am thankful, even if the fasting was painful.

Did I give up the fast on Easter? Yes. Because fasting past Easter can become legalistic and judgmental for me. I sure enjoyed the tea I sipped with breakfast and the chocolate chip cookie I had with snack. I was encouraged by the songs I heard on the radio in my car this morning. I hope that as I add back these things, I will return to a place of more moderation and gratitude overall.

Did I learn from Lent this year? I sure did! Was it easy? No. But the Spirit is faithful. Praise Him!

Saturday Detox

I've been realizing lately how vital Saturdays are to surviving the week. If I don't rest on Saturdays, I'm toast for the next week. I need self-care every day, but it's crucial on the weekend. Saturdays are my day to detox, to let go, to go slow, to refill. Here are some of my go-to habits for Saturdays:

1) Walking with Mom: To let go of the stale air from indoors and to inhale some fresh air, as well as some quality time and wisdom from a woman I greatly admire.

2) Superfoods: I often overeat on Friday nights, and wake up feeling sluggish the next morning. I wish this wasn't my habit, but for now, I'm accepting it and combating it with better nutrition on Saturday, like cinnamon turmeric chocolate milk, coconut oil, green tea (my favorite is Honey Lemon Ginseng from Celestial Seasonings), and plenty of vegetables.

3) Naps: Tiredness out, rest in. I read that drinking caffeine before napping helps the person wake up more energized, so I've been drinking tea just prior to sleeping.

4) Quickie yoga: A few minutes of calm, most of the time after the nap. This wakes me up a little and helps keep my mind in a calm state. My favorite current source of yoga is Lesley Fightmaster's YouTube channel.

5) An earlier bedtime: I'd really like to stay up late on Saturday nights, but when church comes early, I just perpetuate the cycle of sleeplessness form the week.

These are some of my Saturday self-care habits. What are yours?
Please share in the comments.

Bread and Water: Reflections on Lent

To preface this blog post, I should explain about Lent. Growing up in nondenominational churches, I never practiced it. Then, in college, my resident director introduced me to this period of the church calendar. It is a time to deny oneself, a time to sacrifice in memory of Jesus' sacrificial death on the cross to save humankind from their sins. Sometimes people fast from food. Sometimes people fast from a habit. As the Director of Spiritual Formation at my alma mater used to say, it's a time to put things back in their proper perspective. I've fasted from many things since then: radio, Facebook, blogs, eating out, chocolate, gluten. And some years I've fasted from fasting, like during graduate school when I just did not need to add one one thing to my plate.

This year as I thought about Lent, I decided to fast from oatmeal, drinks other than water, and chocolate? Why? I like to find biblical support for my fasts, and since Jesus is the bread of life and living water, I thought making these foods my focus would help me focus on Jesus. I could wax eloquent about how I thought about Jesus when I ate whole wheat muffins for breakfast instead of oatmeal, or toast instead of granola for snack. I could tell you I thought of Jesus every time I drank hot water instead of coffee, hot chocolate, or tea. But that's not the truth.

The truth is that this fast was hard. It felt more like a diet than a spiritual discipline. I found myself thinking more about food because of the extra intentional effort I needed to put into meal prepping (making muffins ahead of time, asking Mom to make more bread, making peanut butter muffins instead of brownies for dessert, etc.). I constantly found things I couldn't eat without breaking my fast: Mom's pancakes, granola bars, Clif bars, coffee cake, etc. Mom went out of her way to accommodate my oatmeal fast particularly, but people at work still offered me chocolate. Bible study offered chocolate cake. The chocolate oatmeal Mom made for herself smelled so good. I often wanted coffee or tea as that final step of a meal. I frequently felt unsatisfied.

So did this fast do what it was supposed to? I believe God used it, but not maybe in the ways I expected. I realized how much I rely on oatmeal, chocolate, and hot drinks as staples of my diet. I recognize the satiation and even comfort they bring. I've gotten more conscious of my nighttime snacking. I've enjoyed trying some new recipes, I guess. Not consuming oatmeal, chocolate, and hot drinks has become habit, part of life. In some ways, though, this is not a positive thing. I find myself wanting to continue this fast, to continue to tell myself, "No." To prove my self control. To be ascetic. And that's not godly.

So what now? It's Easter, and He has risen! It's time to reintroduce these foods to my diet, to appreciate them as God-given gifts, to let my taste buds have a resurrection of the pleasure these foods bring. I'll be honest and say that I'll probably struggle with self-control, but I'll work at it. I'll practice self-forgiveness. I'll ask God for forgiveness. After all, that's what Easter is all about.