All The Things That Were Good

The night of my car accident, my Mom reminded me that God can work out all things together for good for those who love Him (Rom 8:28). I don't know if she told me to look for the good, or if I just thought about it, but the sentiment stuck with me. This journey of car accident, car loss, and finding a new car has been hard, really hard. We grieve. We have pain, and yet God, in his grace, has still allowed me to see a lot of things that were good:

The accident was close to our home, which meant my husband could walk to the scene to support my friend and I.

The accident was at rest, versus moving at fast rates of speed.

Police dispatch answered my call.

The police came quickly.

The police were professional.

My husband drove the wrecked car home so I did not have to.

I already had an easy dinner planned that took little to no time to prepare after the accident.

My husband told me he loved me a lot after the accident.

I was able to call my parents for advice.

No immediate medical attention was necessary.

I was able to get some sleep that night despite sleep struggles.

I was not too sore in the morning.

My neighbor recommended a chiropractor.

Our insurance was able to help us get a rental car.

I was able to get a rental car the first day I needed to go back to work.

My workplace was gracious with my schedule.

I had sick time to cover hours of work missed.

My husband's friend helped him take the car to the shop.

When the insurance totaled the car, they gave us more money than I paid for it four years ago.

I felt peace from the Lord about finding a car online.

Looking for a car online led to several dead ends, that led us to more affordable cars.

The California car we planned to buy sold out from under us, which made us look local.

My husband did not have to fly to California to get us a car.

The local car that wasn't ready lead us to look at an SUV.

The SUV was in our price range.

The SUV was immediately ready.

The car salesman was nice.

My parents taught me to save, and we had just enough in our savings account to comfortably cover the increased cost of the SUV over the insurance amount.

We got to drive the car home that day.

We got to turn in the rental car a day earlier than expected, saving us some money.

We got to drop rental car insurance, which also saved money.

We can give stuff from our old car to my parents, who have a similar car.

The car we bought is three years newer than ours.

The new car has 30,000 less miles than ours did.

Lord willing, this car will last us further into the further than the one we had.

Lord willing, we are DONE car shopping for awhile.

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I am sure that's not all the things that are good, because we are not omniscient like God. There is still grief. This is still hard, but we are thankful.

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Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate!

The Apple Recipe Round-Up

I guess I just haven't been baking as much this year, but still, it's fall, y'all, so gotta share all the autumnal recipes. Here's the apple edition:

Easy microwave apple mugcake (Oats Lady)

Apple pie blended baked oats (Upbeet Kitchen)

Apple cheddar superhero muffins (Rise and Run cookbook)

Mellow apple pancakes (The Flavor of Wisconsin cookbook)

Small batch apple granola (One Dish Kitchen)

Russian red cabbage with apples (Easy Vegetarian Slow Cooker cookbook)

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Has anyone gone apple picking lately? I haven't, but it sounds fun! Feel free to share your favorite apple adventures and/recipes in the comments section.

Afghan 74

Another afghan off the bucket list. This is the the Oliver baby blanket from Edie Eckman. I used a chain of 121 and chose Red Heart spring green, Mainstays white, Red Heart royal blue yarn for my colors. (I used my ergonomic J hook again.) I accidentally forgot row two of the border, but otherwise, I think I made this as written. It was pretty easy, and worked up quickly with the half double crochet. My finished size came out to be 32 by 36 inches.

*Special thanks to our dinner guest who helped me unravel the royal blue yarn to get this finished!

Real Life Marriage: "The One"

A lot of people talk about knowing a person to be "the one" before they even started dating. I don't know about that. I definitely didn't know my husband was "the one" when we started dating four years ago this day. I just knew that he was a person I liked, felt attracted to, and valued, and for me, the relationship had to become something, or I had to move away. I was getting too attached.

When we got married, though, I committed to my husband being the one. In my vows, I told him that I chose him, and would always choose him. Between that and a covenant marriage, I gave myself no outs.

Attachment does change. I am sure there are quite a few people out there who said someone was "the one," and then it fell through. Those aren't the people talking, though. The people talking are the ones who are still twitter-pated over their love, in love with love, and in love with their lovers. Their sweet stories are the ones people want to hear.

Marriage is an opportunity to write a sweet story, though. Marriage is an opportunity to choose, to love well, to forsake all others, to be ONE. Marriage is an opportunity to glorify God, the One who made men and women and made marriage. Marriage is a high calling, a holy calling. Ideally, I only get one shot at it. I pray I do it well.

Grief Part 2: It’s "Just" A Car

There’s the grief of true loss, the grief of giving up, and then there’s the grief of losing things that “aren’t important,” like cars.

Four years ago, I was in a three car accident and my almost brand new car required over half of what I paid for it in repairs. Fast forward to last month when I got rear-ended again* worse, and my car was totaled. I knew to expect that, but had a little hope after my insurance agent said it looked fixable. I got the estimate and though it was almost equal to Kelly Blue Book value, it still looked like they would fix it. I breathed a sigh of relief and even wrote getting the car back and wrapping up accident stuff as a goal for November. Then I got the call that the car was indeed totaled. Insurance would give us decent money for the car, but we had to sign over the title, mail off the keys, and call the body shop to tell them to send it off. I felt a sense of loss.

This was the first (almost new) car I ever bought. It was the first car I bought as a working professional. The car held lots of memories, from work trips, to doctor travels, to our honeymoon, to my daily commutes. It was a really nice car, and I worked hard to keep it that way (minus the one fender scratch I got because of my bad parking skills). I felt comfortable in that car. And now it was gone. I wouldn’t ever even drive it again.

Now we needed to look for a new car, too. That brought on new grief: grief of time that I planned to use to do other things. Buying a new car isn’t quick. Nor are licensing, tagging, emission checks, etc. Grief upon grief.

It’s just a car. It’s not a place, or a person, or even a possession that has immense value. Although a car can enable kingdom work, I know I can’t take it to heaven. Even yet, I still feel grief. May God guide me through it, because man, this grief is piling up. "Just" grief or not, it's still grief, and it's painful.

*My passenger and I are sore, but okay. This accident could have been much worse, and we praise God for his provision in and through it, even with the grief.

Things I No Longer Do

'Tis the season to simplify. There are lots of things that I used to do, that I used to enjoy doing, that I don't do anymore. Priorities change in different seasons. In case it's helpful for your own recalibration, here are some things I've recently let go of (and what I've replaced them with, where applicable):

Researching and celebrating national holidays based on the National Day Calendar (Fun but I'm celebrating getting through each day a lot of days right now)

Reading every blog post by my favorite writers (Some of the stuff I don't need to know)

Extensive research pursuits (I find what I need to know to solve the problem at hand and move on)

Google searching for recipes (I used cookbooks instead.)

Making complicated recipes (Remember, simplifying?)

Browsing at the grocery store ("Get in and get out" is my motto most of the time!)

Thumbing through catalogs that come in the mail (It's not worth my time and can breed discontent.)

Watching movies on a regular basis (Shows are shorter and easier to pick up or let go.)

Listening to the radio (I would rather learn by listening to podcasts.)

Writing and mailing cards (This I mostly let go do to the pain of handwriting caused by focal dystonia. I still enjoy Facebook messaging and/or e-mailing people on their special days, though!)

Reaching out to friends who don't respond (I really hate this one! I'd like to keep up with people regardless of their response, but the truth is, I really don't have time. Friendships have seasons, too.)

Letting go, for me, has been gradual. In most of these cases, I didn't make a resolution not to do things. They just slowly faded in presence and prevalence. It's okay. Life is still okay. I still find joy. It just looks different.

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Readers, anything you've stopped doing recently? Why have you stopped doing it? And what are you doing instead? Please feel free to share in the comment section.

The Annual Pumpkin Recipe Roundup

It's that time again! Time for the annual fall pumpkin recipe roundup. I haven't been as intentional about making pumpkin things this year, but for what's it worth, here are the recipes I have tried.

Pumpkin spice creamer (Kim's Cravings)

Pumpkin superhero muffins (Rise and Run cookbook)

Chocolate pumpkin granola (Family Food on the Table)

Cinnamon pumpkin granola (Le Creme de la Crumb)

Pumpkin bars (The Flavor of Wisconsin cookbook)

And too many pumpkin mug cakes to list individually....

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Readers, have you found any new fall recipes? Or do you have tried and true favorites? Please share in the comments section.