Marriage Misnomers: There is No "I" in Team.

"There is no, 'I,' in 'team,' or so the saying goes. Team is a "we," not a "me," identity, so on the surface, this makes sense. But how do you get from, "me" to ,"we?" I'm convinced it takes time.

Team identity requires shared experiences. Team identity requires shared emotions: joy, elation, loss, hardship. Team requires joint failure and joint recovery and resilience. Team requires delegation and trust. Team requires a person to give of himself or herself.

There is no, "I" in "team," but there is an "I" in time. Time requires that I give up some of "my" things for "us" things. Time requires that I sacrifice some of what I want for what my spouses wants. Time requires that I let go and cede some of my tasks and responsibilities. Time requires that I give sacrificially of myself so that we can form a joint identity.

Time is not my primary love language. I prefer to show my love through acts of service. When it comes to forming our team identity in marriage, though, time is where it's at. The more intentional time we spend together, the more I get out of the way and let "we" replace "me." The more time we spend together, the deeper our marital bond grows. The more time we spend together, the more I get out of the way and let my "i"dentity become one based on unity. There is no, "I" in team, but there is an "I" in time. The more "I" give, the more, "we" get.