Real Life Marriage: What I Missed About Submission

I attended a women's conference a few weeks ago at my church. The topic, killing fear and anxiety, was not a new one, but something I definitely needed. To my surprise, though, the speaker brought a new passage into the discussion: 1 Peter 3:1-6. What? A message on submission in the middle of a conference about fear and anxiety? That did not make sense. As the pastor spoke, however, I started to understand. Submission is part of God's plan for my protection. It's part of his good plan to help me with my anxiety.

God designed submission as part of the created order. It is not that woman is less valuable than man, or somehow that woman is subservient, but that the man is called to lead his family as Christ leads the church (Eph 5:21-33). How does Christ lead the church? Lovingly. Sacrificially. In ways that enhance the church and make her clean and radiant. This is how a good husband, a believing Christian husband should love his wife.

So what does this kind of submission have to do with anxiety? Peter writes that Sarah obeyed Abraham, and as a result "did not give way to fear" (1 Pet 3:6). What? Obedience and fearlessness in the same sentence? Yes. Peter writes that Sarah's submission contributed to her being able to overcome anxiety and live in a beautiful way that adorned the gospel.

What does this have to do with me and my submission? I missed the idea that submission includes not just my actions, but also my thoughts and emotions. I need to submit all things under God, and under my husband. The result with be for God's glory and my good.

What does submission to my husband look like in the area of my anxiety? It looks like me sharing my thoughts with him so that I can expose them to his truth. It looks like me seeking out my husband as the helper and support and leader that God has designed him to be. It looks like letting myself be led and directed and shepherded. Is it easy? No, but neither is dealing with anxiety. I can pick my hard. 

I want to live in obedience to the Lord. I want to live according to his created order. I recognized that something was off with my handling of anxiety, but I did not know what it was. Now I know. I was missing submission. Now, by God's grace, may I practice it, even as continually learn more and more about what submission means.