Crazy, or Taper Crazy?

I think I first read about "taper crazies" in the Run Fast. Eat Slow. cookbook (Flanagan and Kopecky, 2016). I was training for my first half-marathon at the time and wanted to learn more about nutrition. Somehow, though, I picked up that phrase. I do think I experienced them, at least a little

Fast forward a few years and I think I have the taper crazies again. I am only running a 10K, but I dropped from big miles and big workouts to a mere 30 minute easy run. I am thankful for that run, don't get me wrong, but man, I am antsy! I have twice gone through the freezer to inventory stuff. I find myself frittering away time flitting back and forth between house chores. I act a little scatter-brained. I want to solve a lot of life's problems, even though now is not the time.

Granted, probably more than a reduction in running miles is contributing to my condition. I finished 30 days of yoga right as my running volume dropped. The pros say people shouldn't strength train the week of a race, so I dropped that. I got botox in my arm, which mean I could not do any physical therapy exercises or crochet for a few days. I had purposely prepped food so I could cook less the Friday before the race. But now I am stir-crazy!

I heard Steph Bruce talk about wanting to rearrange her house either during the taper, or right after a marathon (both times she needed to rest). I have not quite had that inclination, but I can understand it. I just have restless energy and want to do something with it!

On the flip side, though, I also feel unrested. I cannot seem to get enough sleep. Despite lowering my mileage, I am still pretty hungry. I feel little aches and pains and worry about getting sick. It's crazy, really!

Thankfully, I am not the only one. Other runners experience this, too (eg Wuestenfeld, 2018). So here's to one more day of the crazies, and then, Lord willing, race day!

References:

Flanagan, S., & Kopecky, E. (2016). Run fast. Eat slow. Rodale books.

Wuestenfeld, K. (2018). The taper crazies. Chasing unicorns LLC. https://chasingunicorns262.com/2018/09/05/the-taper-crazies/.

Crazy-busy

"‘Crazy-busy’ is a great armor, it’s a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we’re feeling and what we really need can’t catch up with us."

~Brene Brown

This quote is perhaps another way to explain where I'm at in life. I've been crazy busy for so long. And now, as life slows a bit, all the emotions are hitting me in the face. I feel lonely. I feel scared. I'm angry. I feel sad. And I find myself trying to fill time instead of feeling. I go on more walks. I take on more projects. I try to sleep more. None of these things are necessarily bad, but they're just other ways I keep myself numb. They're ways I stay a human doing instead of a human being.

What I really need right now is to sit with my feelings, to ask God what He is trying to tell me through them. But I don't want to. Admitting my feelings makes me raw and vulnerable and real. And that's not comfortable, or painless. It's pain-full.

I know God made me a feeling creature for a reason. My emotions help me connect to other people. My emotions help me experience the richness of this world God has made. My emotions remind me that God is God and I need to be still and know Him (Ps 46:10).

So here's to letting down the armor a little bit, to feeling the feels, to trying to enjoy life a little more instead of numbing myself with busyness. Jesus, hold me close.