Real Life Marriage: In Sickness and In Health (A Reprise)

I hate sickness. I really do. I am somewhat of a germaphobe, and when people around me are sick, I freak Like obsess over when I am going to get sick, clean every door knob and light switch with Lysol, etc. But what do I do when my spouse is sick? I cannot exactly avoid him like the plague. As a wife, it is my job to help care for him. And since we live in a small condo, I really cannot avoid him.

I am usually the weaker link in our relationship. With my dystonia and other health issues, I am usually the one going down. Twice last year, though, my husband has been the one to go down, and with very contagious illnesses. First it was COVID, and then the stomach flu? What to do?

I tried to keep my distance with COVID, but who was I kidding? That stuff is super contagious! I made it through a trip to the store for all things cough-related, but sure enough, three days later, it hit. Bummer. Not the way we planned to spend time off together, but at least we were together. Thankfully, our cases were light and we just laid on the couch for a few days watching Christmas movies while we recovered.

Then it was the stomach flu. Neither of us have thrown up in years, but he picked up the bug somewhere, and yuck. It was terrible! Thankfully he could get himself to the bathroom and back, but was I really going to refuse to get him cool rags and fluids and blankets when he got shivering cold? I did disinfect a lot, and I washed my hands a lot, but that was all I could do.

The Lord did spare me from the stomach flu, and I am oh, so thankful. Having the tables turned on illness in our home, though, was good for me. It forced me to rely on the Lord and His strength. It reminded me how much I enjoy doing life with my husband, and how much I appreciate him being healthy enough to do so. As I was reading WayMaker by Ann Voskamp (2022) during this time, it reminded me that struggle can make us stronger. Struggle is not something I would choose, but it is something God can use. 

"In sickness and in health." These were my vows. For the first part of our marriage, they were more about my husband than me. Now they have been more about him. Marriage has times and seasons. These are ours. To God be the glory!

Reference:

Voskamp, A. (2022). WayMaker: Finding the life you've always dreamed of. Thomas Nelson

Real Life Marriage: "In Sickness and In Health"

Photo by Sharon Lane

We pledged to love each other "in sickness and in health" in our wedding vows. I didn't quite realize how much we'd have to practice that. Chris got a terrible case of bronchitis a few weeks ago, leaving me to do most of the house stuff because he literally couldn't. Today, on our four month wedding anniversary, I have laryngitis and can barely speak. He drove me two hours to the neurologist to get botox for my dystonia. This is real married life, people.

Love is not always pretty. It is not always fun. It does not always mean being with the other person is enjoyable, either. I'm paranoid about germs. I hurt when Chris hurts. I wanted to "fix" his illness when he was sick, and I couldn't. Love was making tea. Love was fixing soup for dinner for days on end. Love was giving hugs and trusting the Lord with the results of my virus exposure. In all of these situations, love was a choice. And now Chris is doing the same for me.

For several days now, I haven't talked much at home in an attempt to save my voice. Chris has chosen to be with me even though I'm not good company. Chris had work today. He was the sole person responsible for a few things, yet he chose me over those to-dos. He chose to come with me and support me and hold my hand while I had needles poked into me and toxins injected. He chose to come with me to drive the two hours home afterward because I said my arm would hurt. He chose love. We both choose love.

Marriage is good. It is shaping. It is special and fun and all the good feels...at times. But is also hard and messy and germ-exposing. It is painful and more commiseration than camaraderie sometimes. But it's good and right.

Marriage is a commitment, and with the Lord's help, we're keeping ours:

...for better or for worse

...for richer or for poorer

...in sickness and in health

To love and to cherish, until death do us part or Jesus Christ returns.