Busyness

Brene Brown says that "crazy busy is an armor." But busyness is also a lot of other things. It is a pace of life, sometimes forced, sometimes chosen. It can be a cover-up. It can be an escape. It can be a badge of honor or a curse of culture. It can become an identity. I think it is always dangerous when we put our identity too much in any one things, so if you are a person, like me, who tends to be busy, maybe even who likes to be busy, here are a few questions to ponder:

Is my busyness stressful or purposeful? Is busyness happening to me, or am I choosing it? There is a big difference between letting our lives get overrun with needless to-dos, and actually choosing to do things because they matter to us.

Am I doing this because of anxiety or because of actual need or want? I can pursue busyness because I am anxious, because I need things to do to escape that anxiety (. (Spoiler alert, busyness just pushes off the anxiety and can make it come back stronger.) I can also end up busy because I have lots of great things to do, I have the energy to do them, and I want to do them.

"Whose house [am I] building and why?" (Frederick & Frederick, 2022) Who does this busyness serve? Does it serve my employer and "the man"? Does it serve me? Does it serve my family? Or is it doing the opposite. The dividends paid by my busyness matter.

Truth be told, I have not gotten my own busyness figured out. Sometimes I am crazy-busy. Sometimes I get close to crazy bored. Intent matters. Thinking about busyness a little more, maybe instead of busy work, might help us all!

References:

Frederick, R., & Frederick, S. (Hosts). (2022, April 19). Designing higher quality time. (no. 256) [Audio podcast episode]. In Fierce Marriage. https://fiercemarriage.com/designing-higher-quality-time

Marriot, S.,, & Kelley, A. (Hosts). (2018, July 19). Challenge Your “Busy” Identity – Gain Consciousness Over Your Pace. (no. 70). [Audio podcast episode]. In Therapist Uncensored. https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu70-challenge-your-busy-identity-gain-consciousness-over-your-pace/

What I Used/What I Used Up (Week 2)

It's Use It Up Week Two!

What I Used of My Meal Plan-

Breakfasts:

Blueberry protein doughnuts (Fit Foodie Finds)

Instant Pot hard-boiled eggs (Omnivore's Cookbook)

Super simple granola 

Fluffy pancakes (All Recipes)

Lunches:

Big-batch Instant Pot white beans (Epicurious)

Carrot and romaine salads with shredded chicken, salsa, and Italian buttermilk dressing  (The Best 50 Salad Dressings)

Lentil stew with butternut squash (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)

Southwestern black bean, quinoa, and mango salad (Skinny Taste)

Tuna-macaroni salad (Betty Crocker)

Dinners:

Chicken and kale soup (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)

Florentine frittata (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook) and sweet potato sage biscuits (Rise and Run)

Beef ragu with minted penne (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook) 

Pasta e fagioli with sausage (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook) 

Snacks:

Bananas

Double chocolate banana bread (Handle the Heat)

Gingerbread pumpkin muffins (Chicago Jogger)

Hot chocolate

Low-fat pumpkin oatmeal chocolate chip muffins (Ambitious Kitchen)

Peanuts

Single serve baked oatmeal and oatmeal mug cakes

What I Used Up--

Freezer:

Chicken broth
Chopped jalapenos
Green beans
Hamburger

Fridge:

Chicken broth
Kale (bought and used entire bag)

Pantry:

Baking soda
Fire roasted diced tomatoes
Pumpkin pie spice
White wine vinegar
Whole tomatoes

What went bad:

1/4 c Greek yogurt (only about 1/4 cup, but still frustrating!)

What I Replaced:

Baking soda
Chicken broth
Green beans
Pumpkin pie spice

What I Replenished Before I Ran Out:

Baking powder (hard to find an off brand, so when I did, I bought it!)
Butter
Coffee
Eggs
Lettuce
Milk (I never want to really run out, because that can mean an emergency grocery store trip)
Oats
Parmesan/Romano cheese 
Peanuts
Powdered milk

What I Overbought and Now Need to Use Up:

Great Northern beans
Italian flat leaf parsley (unintentionally bought instead of cilantro)
Mint leaves
Potatoes
Salad pasta
Whole wheat penne

What I Prepped for Next Week:

Carrot and romaine salads with shredded chicken, salsa, and Italian buttermilk dressing  (The Best 50 Salad Dressings)

Flourless peanut butter protein brownies (Fit Foodie Finds)

Instant Pot hard-boiled eggs (Omnivore's Cookbook)

Protein scotcheroos (Fit Foodie Finds)

Whole wheat bread (Sally’s Baking Addiction)

(Did I really need all these snacks? No. But Fit Foodie Finds has a protein dessert series going, and I want to cook through as many recipes as I can!)

What I Froze for Future Me:

Healthy pumpkin muffins (Wholesome Recipe Box)

Pasta e fagioli with sausage (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook) 

Protein cookie dough cup (Fit Foodie Finds)

Snickers protein bar (Fit Foodie Finds)

Real Life Marriage: Winners and Losers

I had a realization this past year. Winners and losers cannot coexist in marriage. We are both winners, or we are both losers.

When we communicate, or miscommunicate, sometimes I find myself trapped in a cycle of wanting to be right, of wanting my husband to understand. I don't necessarily need him to agree with me (or at least I don't think I do), but I want him to acknowledge my perspective, validate me. Sometimes he doesn't understand, or can't understand. It feels like we are both losers.

Other times, when we communicate, we learn from each other. We come to an understanding. We see something from the other's point of view. We are both winners, and it feels awesome!

I want to remember when we disagree that resolving our issues is about finding a solution where both of us win. It's not about me being right, or him being right, but about our marriage being in a better, stronger situation. 

We are both winners, or we are both losers. Instead of arguing, I hope we can continue to work towards understanding, instead of being right (Smith, 2021). I hope we can keep working towards solutions to our problems that we both feel good about (Focus on the Family, 2015). It's not easy, but there is a lot less conflict that when winning and losing divide us.

So here's to further work at communication. To vying for our marriage instead of competing for our own personal prizes. May God be glorified in our unified efforts.

References:

Focus on the Family. (2015, June 8). No losers. https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/no-losers/

Smith, D. (2021, July 26). Winners and losers in marriage. Dr. Debi Smith. https://drdebismith.com/winners-and-losers-in-marriage/

Elusive Trust

Trust. It's a tricky thing. I think I have it, and then I suddenly realize I don't. And it's the slightest things that tend to reveal my lack of trust. That person not doing what they said they'd do one time. My husband coming home slightly later than expected. A miscommunication. Yes, sometimes it's big things, too, things that end relationships, but more often it's ins and outs of everyday life. I think the problem comes down to trust in God.

I don't think I fully trust God. I know I should, but as a fallen human, I don't. Change shows me this. Change is inevitable, sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes neutral, but always part of life. And it freaks me out. This is what shows me that I don't fully trust God. Because if I did, I would be stable. I would be immovable, fixed on God, the ever unchanging one (Heb 13:8). I am not fully there.

Because I am not fully founded and rooted in God, I struggle to trust myself. I question my body when it changes. I question if I can trust my intuition. I question my five senses. I question myself. That then transfers to others. I question my husband. I question my friends. I question motives. I question intentions. I question.

Thus far in life trust, or at least total and complete trust, has alluded me. It bugs me. It bugs those I love. (Ask my husband!) I am sure it grieves God. So I've got to work on it, work on believing what I read in the Word. Work on believing what I know. Work on accepting change, knowing that God is not elusive. He is ever present. He never fails, and that changes the world!

What I Used/What I Used Up (Week 1)

I like meal planning. Really, I do! Sometimes it just gets tedious and annoying, though. So, in an attempt to bring back some joy, infuse a little fun, and maybe help a few others, I am starting a little blog series: What I Used/What I Used Up. My plan is to share what I used of my meal plan, and also what I used up in cooking it that week. My hope is to use up more of what I have in the freezer, fridge and pantry, (or at least cycle through the old stuff and decide what I really need to replace as I attempt to simplify my life at little bit).

Last year, I drew meal prep inspiration from several great blog series, the Food We Ate series from Imma Eat That, and the weekly dinner menus from This Week for Dinner. Though I never actually listened to the episodes, I also like the idea of the "Empties" from Didn't I Just Feed You. This is my attempt to follow in their footsteps.

What I Used--

Breakfasts:

Apple-quinoa parfait (Rise and Run)

Gingerbread pumpkin muffins (Chicago Jogger) and scrambled eggs with kale (Simply Recipes) 

Super simple granola 

Fluffy pancakes (All Recipes)

Lunches:

Big-batch Instant Pot white beans (Epicurious)

Carrot and romaine salads with shredded chicken, salsa, and Basil Parmesan vinaigrette
(The Best 50 Salad Dressings)

Dinners:

Chicago deep-dish style veggie pizza (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)

Veggie pizza (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)

Torta Azteca (Mom's recipe)

Florentine frittata (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook) and sweet potato sage biscuits (Rise and Run)

Snacks:

Hot chocolate

Peanuts

Single serve baked oatmeal and oatmeal mug cakes

What I Used Up--

Freezer:

Peas (remainder of the bag)
Pumpkin oatmeal muffins (Used up the rest I froze)
Spinach (whole bag)
Torta Azteca (Leftovers I froze)

Fridge:

Applesauce (remainder of the jar)

Celery (remainder of the bag)

Green onions (remainder)

Onion (chopped and froze the remainder)

Mayonnaise (remainder of the jar)

Parmesan (remainder of the bag)

Whole carrots (remainder of the bag)

What I Replaced:

Applesauce

Mayonnaise

Parmesan

What I Prepped for Next Week:

Blueberry protein doughnuts (Fit Foodie Finds)

Double chocolate banana bread (Handle the Heat)

Spiced oatmeal muffins (Five Heart Home)

Instant Pot hard-boiled eggs (Omnivore's Cookbook)

Chicken and kale soup (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)

Lentil stew with butternut squash (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)

Tuna-macaroni salad (Betty Crocker)

Simplify.

I am not usually one for "Word of the Year" quizzes. Yes, I take them, and yes, I often pick a word for the year (or month, or day), but I'm not usually one to just take the word I get from a quiz and use it as my own. This year is different. When I did the word of the year quiz from Dayspring, that word fit, and I am running with it. Or maybe I should say, I am pondering it.

Twenty twenty-three was a year of hard stuff, for me, for my family, and for my friends. While I like challenges and proving to myself that I can do hard things, right now, it seems like life itself is hard enough. I am (for right now) kind of over forcing more hard stuff. I just want to be present, to focus on what matters, and to enjoy life. 

I have a few races on the calendar for 2024. I am training for them. How hard remains to be seen. We have a vacation scheduled for the summer. I look forward to these things, but I am trying not to over invest in them. I just want to be present here and now.

Challenges are good. Doing hard things is good. Right now, though, I'm simplifying. What that means and how far it goes remains to be seen. God knows, and I rest in that.

Afghan 79

This afghan was not quite as quick as advertised (since I used regular, rather than bulky yarn) but I still like the way it turned out. Stripes for the win!

Hook: size J Boye ergonomic crochet hook

Yarn:

Red Heart soft white

Red Heart soft navy

Pattern: Quick crochet baby blanket (Crochet Dreamz)

Finished size: 28 by 43 inches