Walking Around These Halls

Walking around these walls

I thought by now they'd fall

But You have never failed me yet

Waiting for change to come

Knowing the battle's won

For You have never failed me yet

Elevation Worship, "Do It Again"

This hospital corridor is becoming far too familiar. After several years of making the rounds of all the doctors, I've been referred to Barrow Neurological Institute, and after multiple, multiple visits, I've received the prognosis is that my condition is chronic. This dystonia is permanent. As much as that is bad news, it is good news. I can seeking a cause for my condition and just start accepting it. Right now, acceptance looks like physical and occupational therapy. Long term, it looks like living in a new way.

I never thought that I'd have a chronic health condition at age 30. The doctors continue to tell me how "young" I am. I know I'm young and that's why I don't want more botox. But I also accept that I belong to a fallen world and that I am aging and that life will never be perfect.

I have prayed and prayed for my hand condition to go away. I have seen the inside of more doctors office than I can count. And while healing hasn't come, I can testify to this: God hasn't failed me yet. He is God over the halls of the hospital, sovereign within the walls of dystonia, and Lord of my life.