Redeeming Memories

I have not been to Colorado for almost ten years. The trip this weekend was supposed to be a getaway, a peaceful pause from life and a celebration of a milestone birthday for my mom. But I was really grumpy and moody that first day. I was overwhelmed with discomfort and dread and memories of times I'd like to forget. They seemed to pop up at every turn, and I wasn't quite ready for them. The memories were not devastatingly bad, but linked to times in my life that I was not in a good place and had very negative thoughts and emotions about the world and about myself. That first day I told my parents how I felt and then prayed like crazy that God would redeem the time. This trip wasn't about me anyway. It was a gift to my mom. 

As the days went on, God did redeem the time. He showed me the gift that it was to get away with my parents. He showed me the beauty of His creation.

He gave my parents and I strength to hike up to a lake at almost 12,000 feet elevation.

He gave us good conversations and tasty food and solid time together (albiet a lot of time being in the car.

Trauma with a capital T, the big stuff, does not resolve quickly or readily, but sometimes the small stuff, the little trauma needs to be relived and restoried and replaced with new memories. That was what God did for me this weekend.

Colorado is beautiful and I can honestly say I enjoyed my time there. But I can also say that I decided it is not my favoritest place to vacation, so I might not be back super soon. And that's okay, because the beauty that remains is the beauty of restored memories, and those will last a lifetime.