Sharing Money

I was very adamant that my husband not know much about my money before we got married. After we got married, however, I insisted that I share all my accounts and even my credit cards with him. The bank demanded a marriage license for me to do this. The credit card agency warned me that adding my husband to the account that was previously mine did not give him any accountability, at least with the credit bureaus. I did not care. We were married, and we now shared everything.

Couples differ in the ways that they handle money. I am not here to say there is necessarily always one right way. Situations differ. I am here to make a strong argument for the importance of sharing money, however, and to encourage couples to consider it if they have not yet done so.

Sharing money cements a marriage. It puts some skin in the game. If we share money, we share ownership. If we share ownership, we share responsibility. It is not one person's job to manage the money, but both a responsibility for both spouses, and if marriage is two becoming one, this makes sense.

When we share money, we share accountability. Both of our expenses affect, well, both of us. We cannot spend in isolation and therefore impoverish the other. We also cannot spend in anonymity. The bank shows what and where we spend, preventing us from spending on things we shouldn't, and forcing communication when we do spend. We know from experience that increased communication benefits our marriage.

Sharing money not only promotes positive marriage habits, but promotes a positive marriage environment overall. How? Writer Shaunti Feldhan suggests that having separate accounts and having to negotiate money results in a 50% deduction in marital happiness (Fuller, Smalley, & Smalley, 2021). That's huge, and not something I want!

Does sharing money fix everything in our marriage? No, it makes some things hard, like buying each other gifts, like spending on things we want. Is it worth it overall, though? Yes. The unity, communication, and happiness it promotes are worth it. I would not have it any other way.

References:

Fuller, J., Smalley, G., and Smalley, E. (Hosts). (2021, June 24). Working through different financial priorities. [Audio podcast episode]. In Focus on the Family Marriage Podcast. 

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/episodes/focus-on-marriage-podcast/working-through-different-financial-priorities/