Disagreement Doesn’t Have to Mean Conflict

I've been learning something lately, mostly in my marriage, but I think it applies to the rest of life too:  Disagreement doesn’t have to mean conflict. Yes, sometimes I need to get another person to agree with me, or I need to agree with them. A lot of the time, though, it is okay to differ, uncomfortable, yes, but okay.

So how do we keep disagreement from becoming conflict? Well first of all, we stand firm in our own positions. We know that believing differently does not mean anything good or bad about us as people. It just is. Secondly, we choose to value that person and that person's opinion. This helps preserve our respect for the person and not make the disagreement person. Third, we choose not to argue. If the conversation is headed there, we can just stop. We can agree to disagree, and just move on. Ultimately, we can accept the other person and that person's view. We don't have to like it, but we can accept it.

We fight in this country about a lot, a lot of things. Some of them are values issues. Some are ethics and morals. Some battles are worth fighting some are not. In marriage, we need to agree on some core issues and key tenets. In other less intimate relationships, we need to agree on less. And in society at large, we really do not have to agree at all. We can respect each other and disagree. Disagreement doesn't have to mean conflict.

So can we all agree to be a little more understanding? A little kinder? A little more considerate and gracious when people disagree with us? You do not have to like it. You just have to agree with it, and accept it.