Real Life Marriage: Before and After

I hardly recognize the girl I was four years ago. It's not that I don't remember her. I do. It's just that marriage has changed me in such profound ways that I could never go back.

I remember the past, but I see it all through the lens of "before I met my husband." The single years are the "years before" my husband. The friendship we had is the friendship that led to marriage. The hard times were the times that led to fulfillment in marriage.

I think about life differently now, in the present, in part because of the influence of my husband, and in part because I now have another person that is permanently a part of my life. I have different responsibilities, responsibilities I never thought would change me, but certainly have.

I have learned to like new things in marriage, most notably food. My husband likes hamburgers, tacos, pizza, and pasta--much different from the-Filipino style food on which I grew up. I'm not sure I totally like all of these, but I at least eat them more often. I have rock climbed more because of my husband. I learned about the, "Peaches" (1996) song (though I don't LIKE it). I guess maybe I should not say that I have learned to like new things, but that I try more new things because of marriage.

There are quite a few things I don't do now that I am married, too. My focus is a lot more singular. Yes, I live my own life, but my life affects my husband. I made the vow to choose him, and I can't go back. I really don't care about some of those old things, either. They don't matter now. My husband matters. My marriage matters. I choose it above the rest. I committed to choose my husband forever into the future when I married.

I hardly recognize my old self. I remember her, but she doesn't exist anymore. The new me is the married me. Anything before seems like a strange memory, because at this point, it is strange. It should be strange, because after I said my vows four years ago, I became one with my husband. We started an "us" identity, and that opened up for us a whole new life.

Reference:

The Presidents of the United States of America. (1996). Peaches. On The Presidents of the United States of America.