Two Little Letters

I am a helper. It's my job, and I also think it's part of my spiritual gifting and calling. But helping has its struggles. Lately, I've felt so burdened by its weight. So many people. So many causes. So many needs. I just can't manage it all. And that's because I can't. I've been realizing that in the midst of this all, I can care, but I can't save. I never consciously told myself I had saving abilities, but somehow I was acting like it. The words caring and saving differ by only two little letters, but in actual living, they differ greatly.

Caring and saving are both verbs. They are both actions. They differ greatly in motivation, however. I show care because I value someone, because I like or love them, because I want to help. I try to save when I think too much of my own abilities, when I am afraid, when I don't think I can survive if that person isn't save. Care comes from a place of peace and calm and trust in God. Saving comes from a place of not trusting God and thinking that I have to be God.

Care includes care for myself and others, so that I can sustain the work. Saving is often a panic grasping at straws to try to get something done, most often for others, without much focus on if the action is healthy for me, or for them. Caring is about sustaining. Saving is about survival, which puts me into survival brain.

S for C. V for R. The differences are slight in spelling, but immense in functioning. I am not made for saving the world. There is one Savior, and I am not it. Instead of grasping at straws, may I submit all my straws to Him and trust Him to fill my cup and sustain those I love. I simply don't have what it takes.