For those predestined to be saved, God's will is first of all. acceptance of Jesus' gift of salvation, belief in Jesus' atoning death for salvation, and confession of sins unto repentance. It is following God's commands in Scripture, for example rejoicing, praying, and giving thanks (1 Thess 5:16-18). It is treating others as we want to be treated (Matt 7:12). It is honoring God and giving him glory, and so much more. The best way to know God's will is to read His Word, the Bible, all of it.
But what about calling? How does calling fit in with God's will? Calling must first of all align with God's will. If calling disagrees with God's commands, it isn't His will. Second, calling must fit with who God created us to be. Calling generally lines up with talents and abilities. I am probably not cut out to play football if I am a tall, uncoordinated woman. Could I try? Sure, but I might want to find a different place to invest the bulk of my time. Third, calling must fit with roles and responsibilities assigned by God. For example, my calling as a daughter is set in place by the existence of my parents. That brings me to marriage, and to the idea of marriage as calling.
The idea of marriage as calling first came to me in a podcast by Kate Bowler and Will Willimon. The idea came during a hard season when I wasn't questioning marriage, but was definitely struggling with it. Thinking of marriage as a calling gave me perspective. I was reminded of how God clearly brought to me my husband, of how clear it was to me when I said, "Yes" to his proposal that to do otherwise would have been selfishness and sin, that I would be more heartbroken without him than I am pained when I have issues with him.
A dear family friend once shared with me her story of going into missions. She shared that she felt it was important to know her calling, because when times got hard, she needed to remember why she was doing what she was doing. I feel that way about my calling to marriage: looking back, I know there was no other way if I was walking in God's way.
So what am I doing with this idea of calling? I am doing what Willimon says and "acting as." I am acting as a wife even when I don't feel like making those sacrifices. I am asking for Holy Spirit help to be selfless instead of selfish. I am making marriage a priority and a focus. My be all end all? No, but a major driving force for my life, right behind my passion and pursuit of Jesus.
Do I believe that I was always called to marriage? I don't know. Do I believe that all people are called to marriage? Most definitely not! The Apostle Paul was single. Jesus was single. God has used many single people to do great work. Paul wrote that the unmarried are more free from worldly concerns and therefore able to focus on God's business (1 Corinthians 7:32-34). I understand that more now. For me, however, my calling to marriage was settled as soon as I signed that marriage certificate. Really, it was clear to me even before that when I saw how God brought my husband to me. Could I have rebelled against my calling then? Yes. Could I rebel now? Yes, but I would risk God's wrath and punishment for my sin. I would rather not experience that.
Marriage is my calling. Marriage is God's will for me since the day that I committed to it. May I walk in this calling, today, and for the rest of my life. By God's grace, may I fulfill this calling and submit any other callings beneath it in accordance with the will of God.
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