Microwave Eggs Benedict

Eggs Benedict: that luscious, splurge-worthy restaurant or weekend breakfast. Can it be done at home, in the microwave? I set out to try.

Base: 2 ingredient microwave bread (Kirbie's Cravings)

Ham: Sandwich meat warmed in the microwave

Eggs: poached in the microwave (Simply Recipes)

Hollandaise sauce: also made in the microwave

Verdict: Yes, microwave Eggs Benedict is possible. It is not as great as the real version, but a decent substitute. I was least satisfied with the microwave poached eggs, as they kind of disintegrated during cooking. If I could get that down, I would feel far more satisfied with the overall result. Perhaps more experimentation is in store.

The Importance of Parental Support for Marriage

My mom texted me recently asking if she could send my husband a card and gift for his birthday. I replied that she did not have to, but that I appreciated her thinking of thinking of him, really, that I appreciated that she treated him as her son, because that is what he is. My parents own my husband as a permanent part of our family, not because they birthed him or because they are related by blood, but because they value our marriage. Both sets of our parents value and respect our marriage, and it is such a blessing.

I remember coming home one day shortly after my husband and I get engaged, and asking my parents about something. (I lived with them at the time.) I think it was about a haircut. Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn't. What I remember was my dad saying, "There is someone else you should ask about that." My dad recognized that he was losing his place as authority in my life. He respected my husband-to-be, and wanted to make sure that I was shifting my allegiance. I was, but the gentle reminder helped.

My husband and I have a policy of asking each other before making major decisions. Since we are apart during the day, we often say, "Let me ask and get back to you." Both sets of our parents respect this answer. They show support in our marriage in doing so.

I have a long history of practicing communication with my parents. I have less with my husband. Because my parents know me so well, they know what I mean, even when it comes out wrong. When it comes out wrong, though, they call me on it. My mom has more than once delivered a gentle rebuke to me. She does this in private, though, because she values our marriage. She knows I need to patch up things with my husband, not with her. My mom's rebukes have helped me go to my husband to apologize, ask for forgiveness, and work to communicate what I really mean, thereby growing our marriage.

All of our parents have been married for many years. They set examples for us of service, support, respect, and so much more. They motivate us to stay married, and to work out our differences so that we, too can have a long and fulfilling marriage.

My parents own my husband as their son. He owns them as another set of parents and shows them respect as such. I respect my parents for their valuing of our marriage, and that frees me up to appropriately respect my husband. 

Parental support for marriage is so important. Without it, my loyalties might feel divided. With it, I feel motivated to work at my marriage. Without it, I might try to ally my parents with me, instead of allying with my husband. I know that not all people have the parental support husband and I have, and for that, I grieve. For what we have, though, I give thanks. The importance our parents place on our marriage helps us keep our marriage as important, and that is what it needs to be, for our good and God's glory.

What We Meal Prep (aka The Master List)

I previously posted an example of a meal prep week for us. I also posted why we meal prep. I have not yet posted a list exploring more of how we carry out meal prep, however. This is that post.

As explained in my "Why We Meal Prep" post, my husband and I work away from home for long hours during the week. This means that we pretty much prep all of our weekdays meals: breakfast, lunch, dinner, and some snacks. That leaves the weekends free to cook, eat leftovers, or go out. So without further ado, here is our list of things we prep every week, as well as ideas of what we make for meals that are not "standard" (aka the main meal, or dinner).

Breakfast:

Granola

Instant pot hard-boiled eggs

Overnight oatmeal

My lunches:

Instant Pot shredded chicken

Salads or steamed vegetables

(We make sandwiches for my husband.)

Main meal:

Tacos for Tuesday

Other meals that reheat well: pasta salad, soup, stew, stir-fry with sauce (which helps rice soften when microwaved)

Snacks:

Baked oatmeal

Bananas (Peeled and frozen)

Carrot sticks (Unless we have purchased baby carrots as a splurge-whole carrots are cheaper)

Iced Tea

Other things we prep:

Cookie dough (formed into balls and frozen)

Hot chocolate mix (cinnamon, cocoa powder, ground flax seed, and powdered milk for my version-I make this by the cup)

Sauces

Spice blends (cheaper to make than to buy, for the most part)

Vitamins (Yes, I am an old lady and have a pill organizer with spots for each day, morning and evening)

Staple items we buy each week that require no prep:

Apples

Dried fruit

Granola bars

Peanuts

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Our weekday meals are not glamorous or fancy, but they are nourishing, mostly whole food, and fit within our values and budget. We still like and enjoy fun food, and more elaborate cooking when we can, but for now, meal prep gets us by for the bulk of life.

Why We Meal Prep

I have written about meal prep a few times, but never really about why we meal prep. This is that post. In short, we meal prep because it fits with our lifestyle and values. For a more thorough explanation, read on.

Lifestyle

We meal prep because it fits with our lifestyle. I like to run, but that requires fuel. Admittedly, I am not the best at choosing good foods to eat post run. Meal prep ensures that I have a breakfast with carbs and protein ready to go, ensuring that I eat, and that I give my body the nutrients it needs to recover.

Currently, I work four, ten hour days which, with commuting, means I am gone eleven or more hours a day. Meal prep ensures that we have food not only during the day, but also when we get home and want to eat dinner. This is especially because one of us (ahem, me), gets hangry!

My husband and I attend small group at church one evening a week. We could grab dinner on the way, but that would make us even later than we already are. It could also get expensive. Enter meal prep! We already have food ready to go!

With work and all of our other activities, weekday time is scarce. Eliminating cooking from the lineup frees up time. With that time, we take care of our priorities, and hopefully have a few minutes to catch up/spend time together/rest. These things are worth more than freshly prepared meals.

Values

We meal prep because it fits our values. We are live on a pretty tight budget so that we can pursue goals that we have as a couple. Meal prep helps us manage our budget in several ways. Meal prep helps us plan ahead for grocery shopping, rather than splurging on what we want when we go to the grocery store hungry in the moment. Meal prep means we have food ready to eat in our house, meaning we can eat out because we want to, not because we are desperate to fill our hungry bellies. Planning to eat out means we can also appropriately budget for it.

Meal prep helps us live a minimalist lifestyle. This probably matters more to me than to my husband. I get overwhelmed easily, and meal prep reduces choices I have to make on a daily basis. Breakfast? Pre-made and in the fridge for work days. Lunch? Already ready to go. Dinner? Plans for that, too! Do we meal prep every day? No, but on work days, it really helps reduce decision fatigue.

Planning and prepping can also reduce food waste. I personally try to prep meals around what we already have in our house, or what I am going to buy for the week ahead. I can then prep all of each ingredient and distribute as needed. I can put half the veggies in one dish, and half in the other. If there are leftovers, I can throw them in a salad. I can take the leftovers from the can of fruit and throw them into my overnight oatmeal for breakfasts. Since I prep on Fridays for the week ahead, I can repurpose cooking remnants into a leftovers lunch or dinner meal over the weekend. And then I can start the week fresh with new meals. Though I value meal prep, I also value variety, which makes me look forward to each new week of meals.

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People meal prep for many reasons. These are ours. If you meal prep, what is your motivation? Please feel free to share in the comments section.

Making Memories: 10K Number Three

I completed my third official 10K! (I did three virtual ones between my September 2019 one and now.) I finished with an official time of 54:23, a PR by 0.06. The course came up a little short on Runkeeper, but my pace was still my fastest yet, so I will take it. Overall, I have been doing things a little differently, and I think it paid off.

What I Did Differently

After taking several running breaks in 2020, I started back with a base building plan. [Thanks to Instagram for introducing me to the concept (Sugar Runs and Elizabeth’s Healthy Life)]. This got me running four or more days a week, which took a little getting used to, but I think it built stronger running muscles. I used Lea Gender’s 6 week 10K training plan, which made for a shorter buildup, and fewer weeks running more miles, which may have left my legs fresher and reduced likelihood of over training. For the first time, I actually did the prehab warm-up exercises before running each day. I also reduced my Tuesday/Thursday miles and did 15-20 minutes of strength training instead. I read that strength training for runners should include single leg exercises since running is a one leg at a time exercise. Lea Gender’s plan had some of those exercises, which made runner specific strength training easier. Since I had the opportunity to run at altitude before the race at altitude, I did. I took the two days before the race off running (per the plan and per my tired legs.) Nutritionally, I focused on getting in a lot of carbs the evening before the race (four to six servings at nighttime snack, plus carbs from the other things I ate alongside.) I also sipped eight ounces or so of water before running (new for me). I think that’s all I did differently before the race.

The Race

I ran in the 9/11/21 Patriot Run, a race to remember the lives lost, and to support the local fire district’s honor guard. I have run the 5K race three previous years, but wanted to up the challenge this time, and I did. The course is pretty much completely flat, and is a loop course, which helps with pacing. The race is also small. I would guess 50 or less people ran the 10K.

The race started at 7 am, a blessing for my used to early running body. This meant I would be under 12 hours of fasting, which is supposed to be about the most you should go without eating before a run. I had not trained to do that, and since I had not, I tried not to do anything new on race day. The temperature was around 70 degrees, cool compared to the 80 plus degrees I had been running in. I hoped my heat training would make up for the altitude difference. I was that runner and did go for a five minute shakeout jog before the race, for a total of 0.44 miles.

My Strategy

I had A, B, and C goals, but I wanted to focus on my B goal of finishing in an hour. Even this seemed like a challenge, as I had run slower than that in my altitude run. With these goals, having run the 5K race in the past, and having studied some 10K pacing strategies, I decided to start off slow. I know that I normally get faster as I go, and I was banking on that.

I ran miles one and two around a 9:30/mile pace. I was happy with that, as I knew that would get me to my B goal. I tried not to go too fast, as I wanted to leave something in the tank for the last two to three miles. I kept an eye on the women in front of me, but was not sprinting to catch up.

I started feeling the effort around mile four, but gave myself a Steph Bruce pep talk and told myself to grit my teeth and grind it out. I saw the lady in front of me pass someone between miles four and five. I thought about adding in a goal to medal, but told myself to stick with the plan. I would rather race myself than other people. Around mile five, though, I also passed the same lady as the front runner. This lady had led the whole race up until this point, but was so encouraging and yelled, “Get it, girl” as I passed. The other lady was still ahead, by at least 100 meters or so. I, however, was starting to feel nauseous. I had some left in that tank, so when I saw myself getting to 5.8 and 6 miles, I tried to speed up. I hit 6.13 miles at the finish line and tried to run through to get to 6.2, but they stopped me with an official time of 54:23. (My Runkeeper said 54:26 and 6:14.) I grabbed some water and settled in to wait for results. I thought I might be second or third in my age range, and I wanted to see.

The Results

Racing during COVID has many unique challenges. A challenge of this race was that the timer got COVID before the event and could not make it, meaning the race organizers had to scramble. They ended up giving everyone wristbands and timing the runners with stopwatches. Understandably, this made tallying results very time-consuming. I think we waited one to two hours in total. We all wanted to get home to eat breakfast, but we also wanted to see results. We chatted with a few other runners, and the time actually went by fairly quickly. It’s the first time in forever that I have had “nothing” to do, and it actually felt good!

Thankfully, the awards ceremony started with the 10K. I don’t remember how fast the male winner ran, but he was in the 21-30 group and fast! The they called the 31-40 group and said I was the winner. I was pretty dumbstruck and just went up on stage to get my medal. They gave me a flag kit, 50 dollar Visa card, and 50% off next year’s race, too. (All are blessings, but I am a big fan of that last prize, as racing is expensive these days!) Mt family was like, “Let’s go!” and so we left directly afterward. By the time it registered that they said I won the race, we were already in the car and driving home. I started asking, “But what about the lady in front of me? I hope I didn’t steal her win!” It was too late to find out, though. My parents thought came in first, and the race organizers took their time to tally, so I told myself to thank the Lord and trust him with justice and fairness.

The Memories

This race was special for many reasons. This was my first race to run after COVID shut down in person racing. I ran in my hometown. It was the 20th anniversary of 9/11. My husband and my parents came to watch (only the second time this has ever happened). The nature of the loop course and the low crowd volume let me see my family at least four times. My husband even gave me a high five as I hit the hard part of the second loop. My parents talked about leaving to make breakfast, but they stayed, so all three of them got to see me medal, a first! My dad and mom texted my siblings about the race, and I received sweet (and silly!) messages of congratulations. I found out a friend from college ran a sprint triathlon the same day as well. These “people factors” meant a lot to me. In fact, I think they meant the most to me. A race win is super special, but without people to celebrate with, it does not mean much. Having a family that supports me in everything I do, even running is the greatest win. This race reminded me of that.

Choosing to Remember: Reflecting on 9/11/2001

On this, the 20th anniversary of 9/11, I’m reflecting on the phrase, “We will never forget.” Those old enough to have lived through September 11th always ask, “Where were you that day?” I wonder, though, if a better question to ask is, “What have we done since that day?” We should always remember September 11th, but what we remember and how we remember matters.

We all remember where we were September 11, 2001. I was waiting at the bus stop. Others were at school, at work, at home. Some were in New York or DC or Pennsylvania. Some were stationed abroad. Around the world, people suddenly became glued to the television, or radio, or whatever media would give us coverage. We gathered in prayer vigils at home and in our churches. We watched our country collapse. We watched our country go back to war. Everything became different that day.

Our country changed on September 11, 2011. Our individual lives changed. Many lost loved ones. Other loved ones were called to go overseas to fight. People become afraid to drive, afraid to fly, afraid to approach the areas of tragedy. People of certain nationalities were unjustly profiled and targeted. It was a dark time. Is the darkness, though, our strongest memory?

What about the tragic beauty of 9/11? The firefighters who gave their lives to save lives.The members of Flight 93 who said, “Let’s roll,” before the terrorists could fully roll out their evil plans. The turning back to God and prayer. The renewed patriotism. The supporting of our troops, the beauty of the memorials. The trauma of 9/11 left its mark on the United States as a whole, as well as individual friends of the United States. We can choose what to do with those scars, though.

Shortly after 9/11, our family started praying for military members by name through what I believe is a now defunct organization. We downloaded a daily prayer guide for the military for use in this purpose. I still have both the guide and names of select men in my Bible. Though I have no idea what happened to the original men I had, I still pray for them. Over time, I have added and subtracted the names of other military people I know personally, so that I may remember them in prayer. When I have worked with kids born after 9/11, I have taught them about what happened. I have paused to remember lives lost when visiting healing fields. I have run in a Patriot Run race for several years to raise money for a local honor guard. I have thanked veterans and public service people for serving when I have seen them. Little things, but things I can do to try to remember September 11th well.

We will never forget, but we can choose how we remember. 

Real Life Marriage: What I Missed About Submission

I attended a women's conference a few weeks ago at my church. The topic, killing fear and anxiety, was not a new one, but something I definitely needed. To my surprise, though, the speaker brought a new passage into the discussion: 1 Peter 3:1-6. What? A message on submission in the middle of a conference about fear and anxiety? That did not make sense. As the pastor spoke, however, I started to understand. Submission is part of God's plan for my protection. It's part of his good plan to help me with my anxiety.

God designed submission as part of the created order. It is not that woman is less valuable than man, or somehow that woman is subservient, but that the man is called to lead his family as Christ leads the church (Eph 5:21-33). How does Christ lead the church? Lovingly. Sacrificially. In ways that enhance the church and make her clean and radiant. This is how a good husband, a believing Christian husband should love his wife.

So what does this kind of submission have to do with anxiety? Peter writes that Sarah obeyed Abraham, and as a result "did not give way to fear" (1 Pet 3:6). What? Obedience and fearlessness in the same sentence? Yes. Peter writes that Sarah's submission contributed to her being able to overcome anxiety and live in a beautiful way that adorned the gospel.

What does this have to do with me and my submission? I missed the idea that submission includes not just my actions, but also my thoughts and emotions. I need to submit all things under God, and under my husband. The result with be for God's glory and my good.

What does submission to my husband look like in the area of my anxiety? It looks like me sharing my thoughts with him so that I can expose them to his truth. It looks like me seeking out my husband as the helper and support and leader that God has designed him to be. It looks like letting myself be led and directed and shepherded. Is it easy? No, but neither is dealing with anxiety. I can pick my hard. 

I want to live in obedience to the Lord. I want to live according to his created order. I recognized that something was off with my handling of anxiety, but I did not know what it was. Now I know. I was missing submission. Now, by God's grace, may I practice it, even as continually learn more and more about what submission means.

Fun Free: Not the Way It's Meant to Be

I once tried to live a fun-free life. Not one of my finer times, as you will see, but you know what? It is probably time to write about it, because maybe other people have been where I was, wondering if trying to live an ascetic life would help put things back in order. Spoiler alert: It did not work for me.

Back in February, I was really struggling. I felt awful about myself, the world, and just life in general. Stress was high. I could not seem to keep up with everything on my plate. My husband told me to cut out things to make time for rest. I, in an act of defiance, decided to give up fun, and literally dubbed the month, "Fun-Free February" in my mind. What did fun-free mean? No Facebook (or social media in general). Only educational podcasts. No fiction reading. No fingernail polish. No flour (my Lenten fast). No French (learning via DuoLingo). No Fussing. That last one was my end goal. I was hoping to become a better person by eliminating fun things. I thought if I told myself I could not have things, maybe I would long for what I did not have less. No, just the opposite.

I found it hard to give up social media. I found that I had used it to distance and numb myself out from real life. Endless scrolling is not good, and that is where I found myself. Cutting that out meant, theoretically, more time, but also more felt pain. Having no where to go to take a break only made my mental health worse.

Since I gave up Facebook, I also gave up Instagram. Instagram was also a scroll trap, but something I realized that I also used as a creative outlet. Well, no time for that. I still took pictures, because that is what I do, but I realized I got joy from sharing, and well, I had one less opportunity.

I listen to podcasts a lot. I did not stop for February, but I did focus on only listening to learning podcasts. That made me miss the occasional, "just for fun," episodes thrown in. I started to like listening to podcasts less.

I rarely read fiction, but I made a focus to avoid it in February, only reading non-fiction, preferably Christian life books. No problems with that. I finished four books. I felt deprived, though, and reading became more stressful because of what I imposed on myself.

No fingernail polish really did not affect my nails. It affected my feet, as I like to keep my toenails freshly painted. It is somewhat vanity, but also something that helps me like my body more. With running and yoga and stretching, I look at my feet a lot. I like my painted toes. My feet? Not so much. This month, I had to stare at my feet a lot. Seeing my nails bare only contributed to further self-loathing.

I chose my Lenten fast before I chose fun-free February. Lent has a purpose, and I learned from it. Fasting from flour at the same time as basically everything else was not the best idea, though. Depriving myself of everything all at once only deepened my struggles.

DuoLingo is love/hate for me. I started because my husband suggested it. I like to learn, but it became a burden. Having time off gave me a few more minutes in the morning. Not being able to do it when my brain craved learning, well, once again left me sitting with hard feelings.

I should probably note that February was not completely fun-free. I did celebrate Valentine's Day with my husband by playing tennis and making a special dinner. My mom came down to go hiking with me. I had a day off work for President's Day. I excused the former because they were with other people, and the latter, well, it was just the schedule. My end goal was to be better, especially for the people closest to me, e.g. family, friends, and coworkers, so I could not exclude their fun. I failed to better them with my fun-free month, though.

Taking all the fun out of my life made my negative emotions more extreme. I had no exhaust valve, so my emotions came out in even more meltdowns (e.g. shows of extreme negative emotions, often accompanied by tears). I was not fun to be around. My limitations placed limitations on my those around me, especially my husband. My tolerance was low. I was a hypocrite when it came to teaching others to care for themselves while not doing the same for myself. Fun-free February was not good for me, or for anyone around me.

Fun and pleasure can become idols. I can look to them instead of looking to God for comfort. That is a problem. Asceticism can become an idol, too, however. I can think that in taking things away from myself I can somehow become a better person. I cannot. Only God can work good in me.

God created humans with the capacity for joy (1 Tim 6:17). I think we are supposed to use it. Balancing fun with the rest of life looks different for everyone. There are obvious wrongs in the Bible, but outside that, balance is a matter of prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit. I have not discovered the perfect balance, but then again, I do not think I ever will. I just know that fun-free is not the way God created humans to be. February was long enough to prove that to me.

Benefits of Getting Married At An Older Age

My husband and I got married when we were in our thirties. Prior to meeting, we both wanted to get married, but had not found "the one." I had not even dated! But then God brought us together, and well, we got married.

My husband sometimes muses on what it would have been like to have met in high school. Well, he would have been in high school, and I would have been in middle school. (We have a small age gap.) I report that I probably would not have paid attention to him. I was too caught up in my own stuff to have a healthy relationship. In college, well, I was so focused on academics, I barely took time to take care of myself. That would not have been a great time for us to meet either. I thought I was ready to get married after graduate school, but was I? I think God started to get me ready for marriage when I decided that I would stay single, and then God was like, "I have room for you to grow."

I think there are some benefits of having gotten married at an older age, though, maturity, for one. Our brains are both fully formed, so hopefully our thinking brains are stronger than our emotional brains (not that I am not emotional; I am!). While we disagree, we are mostly able to keep our discussions under control and without saying and doing things we regret. We can reason through more things.

Getting married older means we have had more time to develop our identities and become more sure of ourselves. We know what we like and dislike. We can agree to disagree. (Ironically, I was very intentional to not put on a face, often even a makeup face, when dating my husband, because I did not want to give false impressions. I feel like I hide my true self more now in marriage than then, maybe because marriage reveals more of more true self and all of its vulnerabilities.)

Being married at an older age helps us focus on what matters. We both still get frustrated (well, me more than him), but we recognize small things for small things. Perspective helps us quiet down our fight/flight/freeze responses and engage in constructive dialogue. I have gone to my own fair share of therapy, so I have a few coping skills that I can use when I sense my emotions get heightened. My husband, well, he is mostly a calm, mature guy.

Getting married in our thirties gave us more time to have developed a theology of marriage. We had both seen many marriages, and unfortunately some divorces, and could conceive of the idea that marriage is more about our holiness than our happiness. We understood some of what it meant to image Christ's love for the church from having spent time in God's word. We were not new believers and had some faith history behind us.

I had crossed a lot of items off my bucket list by the time I met husband. I had gotten my graduate degree, gone on a cruise, traveled to the Bahamas, and almost completed my professional licensure. I had done most of what I wanted to do. I did not feel like I was missing anything getting married. In fact, I felt I was gaining everything.

Marriage at an older age means more resources. We know more people. We know of more books. We have more options. We know more of what we want and do not want. Do we do marriage perfectly? No, but I think our older age is a benefit.

People ask my husband and I our plans for life in the future. We don't have any sure ones. I guess maybe I hold to plans a little more lightly because of marriage. Is that a benefit of getting married older? Maybe. Maybe it is just a function of life stage. Either way, I am grateful for marriage, and grateful to have gotten married at an older age. If nothing else, it gives me an appreciation for marriage. I clearly remember the days before marriage, and though marriage is not always easy, I would not go back. I enjoy marriage greatly. Thought I once thought I would settle for singleness, marriage has brought about sweetness, along with a ton of that growth that God promised me!