Longer Races Are My Thing.

I think longer races are my thing. Don't get me wrong. Shorter races are "easier," in that they take less time. I am not that quick, though, and fighting to be quick just seems too hard. I think I prefer gutting it out to make it the distance rather than trying to force my body to pick up speed for the short term. My mom told me after I ran my first 10K that I would not be satisfied with shorter distances, and well, she was right.

I have only run a very few 5Ks since that first 10K, partly because of COVID, and partly because I like the longer races now. The longer races require a longer training period. I like training, because training helps me run with purpose. Longer races give me a good challenge, too. 

Will I someday increase my distance? Well, I did run one half marathon. I would like to run another. Running is a stress, though, and with currentlife stressors, I think training for another half might be too much right now (Run Wild Retreats, 2021). We'll see. Lord willing that stress goes down, it could be on the table. And a full marathon? That was once on my bucket list. I'm very unsure about that now. While it sounds like a lovely accomplishment, I am not sure my body or life can take it. So longer runs, but not a marathon, are on my list.

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Readers who run? What your favorite distances and why? Please share in the comments section.

Reference:

Run Wild Retreats. (2021). The truth about running and stress. https://runwildretreats.com/the-truth-about-running-and-stress/#:~:text=It%20clears%20the%20mind%2C%20stimulates,you%20fitter%2C%20stronger%20and%20faster.

I Didn't PR.

I didn't PR. I think I could have, but I didn't. I finished eight seconds off my personal best, two seconds a mile slower than in 2019. I got to run, though!

The Build-Up

Despite the fact that Pat's Run is 4.2 miles, I trained like I was training for a 5K. This time, I used Run for Good's 8 Week 5K Intermediate Schedule. This had me running four days a week, with one easy run, two speed intervals workouts (sprints, hills, or pyramid), and a longer weekend run (6 miles most week). The plan assigned two cross training days, so I did some bodyweight strength training and walking then. I worked on some balance exercises, but that only after I tripped and fell on one of the seven mile runs early in the plan. Thankfully I didn't get injured too badly, but it was not pleasant, and I would like to avoid falls in the future. I did have some travel during the plan, which meant running at altitude and in the cold, but I got all the miles in. Overall, it wasn't a bad build. 

The Race

The race officially started at 7:05 am Saturday, 4/23/2022. I got in my corral, corral number three, at 6:30 am. It was packed, but not too bad. I got over the start line at 7:07 am. The start line and the hairpin turn at the beginning of the course got a little bottlenecked, but I was able to weave through the crowd. Overall, pretty smooth sailing.

I ran with my phone in a belt bag this time and tried to use my watch for pacing. That didn't go so well. When I looked down to see my pace, I was anywhere from under 8:00 minutes/ mile to around 10 minutes/ mile. The mileage was also off. Not super helpful.

The weather was cool, and the skies were clear. It felt less hot than three years ago, maybe because it was, or maybe because I have acclimated now that we live in the valley.

I felt like I was running a good pace, not too hard, but not easy, either. There were the few small hills, but nothing major. Runkeeper tells me that I went up and down about 207 feet total. I didn't feel tired, but my legs didn't seem to be moving that quickly. I told myself to push it my last mile, and especially the 0.2 miles into the stadium, and I did, but it wasn't enough to PR. Finishing was a little different, as they gave out medals near the stadium exit, versus at the finish. No big deal. They still had hydration drinks, water, and fruit at the exit. Yeah!

Finding my husband after the race was a little difficult. Spectators are not generally allowed in the stadium, and there was supposed to be a reunion square, but we did not find it. Rather, I walked back near the start line, as we both knew where that was. I am directionally challenged, and after running, my brain works even more slowly, so that was the easiest solution. It gave my muscles a chance to cool down, so that was probably a good thing, too.

I really like the race shirts this year. We got a lot of swag. The medals are pretty. Overall, it was a good race, even if I did not PR.

Final Thoughts

I didn't stare at my phone this time (mostly for vanity reasons, because I didn't like seeing my phone in my 10K pictures). I also want to learn to run by effort, so I can learn what I am truly capable of. This time just didn't do it for me.

I didn't get optimum sleep the week of the race. I got the minimum, but could I have done better with more? Maybe. My stomach did not feel the greatest the morning of. I ate my half banana and drank half a bottle of water, but the time between the fuel and running was about two hours, so maybe I needed more? I still have a lot to learn about running nutrition.

My stride rate was 158 steps/minute, which confirms that my legs were indeed a little heavy. My stride rate was 177 steps per minute for my February 2022 10K. The ideal is 180 steps per minute. More work on cadence and speed might help me in the future.

I got a little cold waiting in the corral. I stood there for 30 minutes, and I tried to keep moving, but it may have been enough to negate some of my warm-up. Nothing really I could do about that.

I hit 8:19/mile for my 3.4 mile temp run the week of the race, so I believe I can run faster than I did on Saturday. If I could hold that for 4.2, it would be a PR by about 11 seconds. Lord willing that I can keep training, I plan to go back next year to see!

Defining Simple Cooking

My dear momma commented that I should define simple cooking. Yes, it's a resource in our tool box, but what does it mean? Good question. Simple cooking can mean several things.

1) Simple cooking can mean one pot, or one dish. This really isn't our style, though it would simplify things. I might look into one pot dinners more when I actually cook on the day we eat it. (Right now, I meal prep most of our food in a single day.) For now, if you like the idea of simplifying dinner dishes, I recommend Budget Byte's list of 50 plus one pot meals.

2) Simple cooking can mean minimal meal prep. This usually involves use of pre-prepared items and/or cans. This is really not our style either, as we do like to cook from scratch. I have found myself buying a few more pre-cut items, though, like the bags of frozen peppers and onions, or frozen chopped butternut squash. 

3) Simple cooking can mean minimal meal cook time. Again, in this season of life, I don't really know what that looks like. I just meal prep everything and then we reheat it when the time comes.

4) Simple cooking can mean easy cooking techniques. This IS our style. Enter sheet pan meals, use of the Instant Pot, and casseroles. When I am making multiple things at one, the recipes need to be simple, i.e. only a few steps, so that I can multi-task. Sometimes we go no-prep, think raw veggies, like carrots and celery, eaten whole. Other things really require no recipe, like boiled beans, chicken poached in water and a few spiced, scrambled eggs, and baked (or microwaved, or Instant Pot-ted) potatoes. Yes, there are lots of fancy ways to cook. Right now, I practice few of them. I save special techniques practice for Sally's Baking Challenge, and that's about it.

5) Simple cooking can mean limited ingredients. This IS also our style. Shop the shelf. Raid the pantry. Throw it in a pot and go. I try to always have a few items in the cupboards for this purpose. Are throw-together meals our every day? No, but when leftovers run short, or we unexpectedly stay home for a meal, or we have spur of the moment company, I need something to make, and it's got to be quick!

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As I said in my previous post, we don't cook simply all of the time. We like challenge recipes, when we want to feel challenged. We are just as guilty as the next person of buying things for only one recipe (hello hoisin sauce in the fridge and furikake seasoning in the pantry). We try to keep things simple overall, because hello, in this life, we need to eat, and we want some time for other things. Simple cooking fits the bill, that is simple cooking according to other definitions.

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Readers, do you cook simply, or with more flair? What does simple cooking mean to you? What are some of your best go-to simple meals? Please share in the comments!

The Domino Effect of Unintentional Sin

I usually participate in fasting during the season of Lent. One day this year, as I sipped my tea and enjoyed its flavor, I pondered the ingredients. I suddenly realized the tea contained [that food]. I considered tossing my tea. I considered pawning it off on my husband. I considered bottling it and saving it for later. What did I do? Well, I reasoned that since my ingestion of the food I was fasting from wasn't intentional, and I didn't want to waste the tea, I would go ahead and drink it. My mind dominoed from there as I considered breaking my fast altogether, on purpose this time. After all, I had already screwed up? Why not just give up? As my mind went, I realized that my slip up is just like unintentional sin.

Unintentional sin occurs when we do something without premeditation. Unwholesome talk comes out of our mouths. We accidentally view something online that we did not intend to see. We find ourselves engaged in gossip. We allow our eyes to linger a little too long on something unclean. We keep back just a little of our tithe money for ourselves. Then what happens? Without intention, we find ourselves slipping into a pattern of sin. If we do not pay attention, the area can quickly become a stronghold. We start to feel powerless and then we just give in.

The Old Testament sacrificial system required atonement for unintentional sin. (See Leviticus 4 and Numbers 15.) Why? Because it marred the people's purity. Because it separated them from God, even if they did not know it in the moment. In the New Testament, Jesus atoned for sin once and for all, but we still have to confess it. We still have to turn from it, because it still separates us from God.

Unintentional sin seems innocent at first, but it is really a slippery slope. We need the conviction of the Holy Spirit to recognize it. We need the power of the Holy Spirit to turn from it. We need Jesus' blood to cover it. Unintentional sin may start little, but its implications are massively destructive. One domino can start a path of destruction no one wants to follow.

May we turn and repent of our sins, intentional and unintentional today. May we fix our eyes on Jesus. May we ever allow the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit in sanctification, until the day comes when we are forever with Jesus and no longer in this destruction prone life and world.

Conflict in Marriage

The longer I am married, the more I am convinced that conflict in marriage is inevitable. But like how much? And how much can we avoid it? Or better yet, what can we do to mitigate it, or even prevent it? But maybe that's not the right perspective. Maybe I need to think about conflict differently.

A lot of conflict in marriage comes from miscommunication. I heard a stat from Greg Smalley (2013) on a podcast recently, and he cited the statistic that "70 percent of communication is miscommunication" (p. 81). Wait, what? Yes, that means the majority of communication is inaccurate. When I think of it that way, especially when I think of conflict in marriage, I have to think about conflict differently. If we're miscommunicating, maybe I need to see that as an opportunity, an opportunity to practice communication instead of something to be avoided.

Ryan and Selena Frederick of Fierce Marriage talk about conflict as opportunity for intimacy. Conflict is uncomfortable, often very uncomfortable, but if we commit to working it out, we learn more about each other in the process. We learn more about each other's hopes and dreams (Gottman & Silver, 1999). We learn more about one another's hurts and triggers for hurt. We learn to care for one another better. The conflict itself is not comfortable, but the results of working through it can be very comforting.

Marriage researcher John Gottman (2019) does not shy away from conflict. His research shows that "most of our relational conflict is not resolvable" and "relationships work to the extent that you have a set of perpetual problems you can learn to live with.” Conflict gives us opportunities to know one another, and to express unconditional positive regard, acceptance, and love for the other person. Conflict is going to happen. We just have to decide how to handle it.

I have not been able to fully change my perspective on conflict yet. I still don't like it, and really, I don't need to like it. When it happens, I just need to take a deep breath, and see what I, we, can get out of. Conflict is the soil of opportunity. I just have to decide what to grow there.

Reference:

Gottman, J., Gottman, J.S., Abrams, D., and Abrams, R.C. Eight dates: Essential conversations for a lifetime of love. Workman Publishing.

Gottman, J. & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country's foremost relationship expert. Three Rivers Press.

Smalley, G. (2013). Fight your way to a better marriage: How healthy conflict can take you to deeper levels of intimacy. Focus on the Family. 

Real Life Marriage: Pest or Prayer Warrior

I need to be a bit of a nag. Being a "J" (Judger) on the Meyers-Briggs personality test, I tend to want things clear cut, black and white, right now. My husband is a "P" (Perceiver), more chill, more go with the flow, more person-centered, if I am honest. Sometimes that causes issues. When we make decisions, I want things done now, yesterday. So I pester. I nag. What I really need to do is pray.

My husband is a good, godly man. God has blessed me in this. So can't I trust my husband to act on decisions in the right time? My anxiety and desire to have things done right now can get in the way, but what I really need to do is pray. First, I need to pray for my heart, that I will be right with God; able to roll my anxiety on him, and so able to respect my husband. Then I need to pray for my husband, that he will be open to God's moving, and that God will move his heart at the right time. Although, I often want things now, that is not always God's way, and often, God uses my husband to slow me down so that I don't get things through my own sinful means.

I have unfortunately nagged my husband about many things. In many cases, I have gotten around to giving up and deciding to be quiet and pray. Then, lo and behold, in some time, God has moved. I do not want to treat God like a vending machine in that I can pray and get what I want, but I think it is telling that when I finally surrender to God's order for our home and wait, God chooses to move.

I am not good at waiting. This much is true. I am also not good at praying. I need a lot of practice. Being in the partnership of marriage gives me plenty reason for that practice, so may I choose to submit to it more. I love God and I love my husband. I do not want to be a pest. I want to be a prayer warrior. May the Spirit equip me to be so.

Love Your Neighbor.

Our homeowner's associations (HOA) paid us a visit. Again. For the third time. I mean, the first time was in the form of a direct e-mail about trash on our porch, and the second was in the form of an all HOA (group shaming?) e-mail when we overfilled the dumpster with said trash. And now we had a personal visit about the cleanliness of our vehicles. My first reaction to hearing the recent request was to get defensive. Then I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I don't want to be, "those people." I wanted to be the perfect, never-gets-into-any-type-of-trouble HOA member. But let's be honest. This is the first time we've lived in an area with an HOA, and we aren't the neatest, cleanest, most studious people. But you know what? We signed the HOA agreement. These are our neighbors. God calls us to love them.

Thankfully, my husband received the most recent HOA visit. The person greeted him respectfully, and he responded respectfully. Might the complaint seem petty? To us, yes, but not to them. And you know what? We can love our neighbors by taking care of it. Getting defensive, or griping and complaining does nothing for them, for us, or for our testimony. 

God calls us to be good neighbors. Martin Luther, as cited by Tom Nelson in his book, Work Matters, states that “God does need our good works, but our neighbor does. (p. 123). In this case, our neighbors need us to clean up a bit. It really isn't that hard. 

Cleaning up our property is an issue of personal choice. But so is living in an area with an HOA. And so is choosing to serve God by being good neighbors.

People often cite The Golden Rule when encouraging people to treat others the way they themselves want to be treated. "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matt 22:39, NIV) can also mean loving your neighbor enough to respect their own preferences and opinions, though. Hopefully it's obvious that we would not violate God's moral or written law to obey our HOA, but this issue isn't about that. It's an issue of preference. And we're going to take care of it. May the way that we do so honor and glorify our Lord, the one who first loved us.

References:

Barker, K.L. (Ed.) (2008). Zondervan NIV Study Bible. Zondervan.

Nelson, T. (2011). Work matters: Connecting Sunday worship to Monday work. Crossway.

Perfectionism in Marriage

Photo by Sharon Lane

Perfectionism. Rearing its ugly head again. (Or maybe it never really went away.) My husband keeps pointing out that my expectations are too high. I blame perfectionism. I blame myself. Perfectionism is part of my struggle of living.

I want to be a good wife. I want to be a godly wife. I try. Really, I do. Or maybe I don't, not hard enough. Regardless, I fall short, like way short. I get irritable. I lose my temper. I fail to keep the right groceries on hand. I miscommunicate. I misunderstand. I say mean things. I am a very fallen human being.

My husband points out that my expectations affect him, too. I don't mean them to, but they do. I get frustrated when he does not do what I expect him to do. I find myself irritated when he does not do things my way, or on my schedule. I'm not consciously forcing my perfectionist ideals on him, but they affect him nonetheless.

I have perfectionist ideas about marriage, too. We have a good marriage, I think, but I worry when we fight, when we get off. My education and career provide me with a lot of knowledge about what we should be doing, but there again, we are human, and it does not always happen. When things are hard, I can worry, and that does nothing good for either my husband or I.

I am not on the receiving end of living with a perfectionist spouse. That is my husband. I can tell you that as a struggling perfectionist, though, I benefit from a lot of grace. I benefit from gentle reminders about reality. I benefit from an understanding husband who knows that when I get bent out of shape, it is likely mostly about me, and less about him. Will I ever recover? No, probably not. At least not according to perfectionist standards. By God's grace, though, I hope I will keep growing. I hope we will keep growing, for God's honor and glory. Amen!