Wisconsin Part Two: The Gadgets

The cheese was unique to Wisconsin, but gadgets are unique to my tech-savvy brother. And man, did we make use of some fun ones!

Brother bought a Samsung smart watch to encourage him to get his steps in every day. That led to the discovery of some beautiful hometown trails. 

The Traeger grill led to some tasty cookouts:

Lamb kebabs

Grilled chicken

I made some tasty cocoa with his electric kettle that heats water to a precise degree.

He made us banana ice cream with his Creami.

(This seriously had the consistency of soft serve ice cream, and it was just mashed and frozen bananas.)

I'm probably missing some gadgets, but this is a pretty good list, don't you think? (We may or may not have some of these items pegged for future wish lists.) In all seriousness, though, this was a dream of a trip, and we are so grateful to my brother for his hospitality!

All the Cheese

We just returned from a lovely trip to visit my brother in Wisconsin. This trip ticked all the boxes: good food, special times with family, and lots of outside time and exploring new spaces. I would totally go back, like tomorrow. But anyway. Brother said I should name my trip recap "cheese and gadgets," so in his honor, here is part one: the cheese.

We ate, like, a lot of cheese. There are stereotypes about Wisconsin cheese, and then there is the real thing. Yes, cheese is really a big thing up there! I mean, have you every seen this big of a cheese aisle in your grocery store? This photo was one side of the aisle, and this was at a budget store!

Needless to say, we picked up some cheese at the store, and tried it later at home.

Bread cheese (fried on the stove)

But before that, we visited a local farmer's market and bought some local stuff

Yes, the curds squeaked when we ate them. It's a freshness thing?

Spicy cheese roll with havarti

We ate fried mac 'n cheese bites at brother's company picnic.

The boys loaded up their baked potatoes with some shreds when we grilled out.

Brother got a pesto grilled cheese and shared when we went out for coffee at Barrique's Market.

We got all the cheesy appetizers at dinner:

Bavarian pretzel with cheese sauce and fried cheese curds at Great Dane Pub and Brewing

And plenty of cheesy entrees:

Texarkana burger (with sharp cheddar) and waffle fries

Irish road reuben (with melty Swiss) and house salad

Big dog smash melt (with sharp cheddar and white American cheese)

We tried goat cheese with marinara at Sugar River Pizza Company for lunch another day.

As well as some green goddess pizza

and ricotta be kiddin' me pizza.

We snacked on some tiramisu we made with marscapone cheese at brother's house.

And yes, we brought some smoked gouda cheese home. I don't think we're cheesed out yet?

I Wasn't Ready.

I wasn't ready to replace the air conditioner in our home, but then our air conditioner quit in the heat of summer. The repair man said it was best to replace, rather than repair, the unit. I didn't want to, but it was the best decision, so we did.

I wasn't ready to purchase a new car, but then ours got totaled in an accident that wasn't our fault. We had to either pay for a rental, go without a car, or buy what we could find. My husband found us a car that was not our top pick, but work work, so we bought it. 

I wasn't ready to remodel our kitchen, but then our refrigerator quit, and taking it out damaged our flooring. We didn't really have a choice but to replace the floor, or for that matter, cut the cabinet under which the new fridge wouldn't fit unless we did.

I wasn't ready to learn a new operating system for my laptop, especially after having to set up a new laptop just two years ago. Then the screen on my new laptop separated. My husband said the best thing to do was buy a new laptop. He would not settle for the budget model this time. It was a good laptop, or nothing. So now I am learning how to use something new again. It is frustrating, but necessary.

I think I live under the illusion that I have more power than I actually have. I think that as an adult, I often believe that I have the ability to choose when I will make changes in my life. No, not really. Changes comes whether I like them or not. And changes often bring good things. Don't get me wrong, all the new stuff we have had to purchase has been expensive. But (after the sticker shock and adjustment periods), the changes have been good:

Our new air conditioner works more efficiently and saves us on our utility bills.

Our new car gets good gas mileage and has taken us on many important journeys, from friend's weddings to family emergencies, to our daily jobs, and more.

Our new refrigerator has many nice conveniences, not the least of which is an ice maker which we especially appreciate on these hot summer days.

My new computer, well, it is new, and still a source of some frustration, but Lord willing, it should last up to ten years and reduce need for more purchases and change-outs of more cheap models.

I wasn't ready. To be honest, I'm rarely ready, but to change up the lyrics of Mercy Me's Song, "Bring the Rain:"

"Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the [change]"

Acting Differently

I think I finally resolved all my car accident stuff. I think. I hope. It was a lot of back and forth between doctors, and insurance agents, and other insurance agents. Quite honestly, it was frustrating, even infuriating at times, but I think it's over. I hope.

Resolving the car accident settlement required being in a conference call between the insurance agent and a doctor's office. The providers weren't very polite to each other. I felt uncomfortable. I don't like rudeness. I tried not to be rude on my dealings with them, though I sometimes felt rude.

I finally got the paperwork. I signed it. I settled my case. (I hope. I pray. I think.) And then I found myself angry, really angry. In my flesh, I wished I had demanded more of the insurance company. I have spent a lot of time on this. Doesn't that count for something? I wanted to write a scathing review of a provider that I did not think served me well. I would not recommend them to others. I was so frustrated! And yet I felt convicted. Convicted that I had done the right thing by asking for coverage of my medical expenses, but not pain and suffering. Convicted that writing a bad review of a provider would not be Christlike. Convicted that I am supposed to "conduct [myself] in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ" (New International Version, 2011, Phil 1:27). I think sometimes I think that is easy. It's not.

I am not here to preach about what is right or wrong in dealings with the world. I am just here to share that though I want to live in a way that elevates Jesus, living like Him is not easy. It's a lot easier to live like the world, living for myself and my desires. To do otherwise is to fight myself, and often, to fight hard.

I think I finally resolved all my car accident stuff. I think. I hope. I pray. And I pray that I might have witnessed to the power of the gospel in the process, because it was only Christ in me that kept me from acting differently, and yet differently in a way that I pray could only point to something supernatural.

Reference:

New International Version. (2011). Bible Gateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/New-International-Version-NIV-Bible/

"Live As So To Be Missed"

My father underwent major surgery two weeks after Memorial Day. The surgery itself was not unexpected, but the timing was. We had just visited, and then my dad was hospitalized and operated on. We did not have a chance to visit again before his procedure.

As Dad faced serious surgery, I reflected back on our last interactions. He gave me a pep talk about life Saturday afternoon. He told me that my work mattered. He encouraged me to make my home a safe place. He exhorted me to honor and respect my husband and listen to what my husband says. In the moment, I was not fully listening, as I was struggling to fully believe what he said. I wish now that I would have recorded it, though. He was giving me encouragement and wise counselor, and I value it.

The day/meal before we left, Dad hurried us away from the table, asking him to let him clear the table. It was his "job," he said, and we needed to leave. He was correct that we needed to leave to get back home, but we could have taken our plates to the sink. Instead, he served us by doing that task.

My dad texted our family a quip from his mom shortly before surgery. He said, "Live as so to be missed." I hoped that was not his last words to us, and thankfully, they weren't, but it told me how my dad wanted to live his life.

As I reflect with gratitude on still having my dad this Father's Day, I am interpreting Dad's words a little differently. Following his example, I want to learn to live more in the moment, not to miss the moments of life we are given. I was not fully present the last time I talked at length with my dad before surgery. That next conversation was not guaranteed. Really nothing about life is guaranteed.

Dad, I am thankful that you are still with us, and we will miss you terribly when the Lord says it is your time to go. You do live in a way that encourages us, challenges us, and points us to Jesus. Thank you! We love you!

It's a Small World!

There are millions of people in the world, tens and thousands of people in the cities where we lives, and hundreds we interact with through church and work. Still, somehow, it's a small world.

When I went to college, we discovered that my out-of-state's roommate's dad and my uncle went to college together. Later, I sang in choir with, and shared a house with. a girl whose dad went to school out of country with my mom. That girl married the son of another former classmate of my mom's.

In adulthood, I've had more than one (not) coincidental connection with someone. When my (now) husband and I made our dating relationship Facebook official, we discovered that one of my high school classmates was friends with his cousin. As I listened to a friend tell me about someone she was dating online, I realized that I went to college with him. Recently, my husband had a professor who graduated from the same small school as me in the same year. It's certainly a small world, and probably even smaller when we consider the family of God. What's cool about that is that we really are close to those people, because the Bible says that we are brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. As such, we should look for and foster connections because someday, those people will make up the sum of our home in heaven.

Real Life Marriage: Before and After

I hardly recognize the girl I was four years ago. It's not that I don't remember her. I do. It's just that marriage has changed me in such profound ways that I could never go back.

I remember the past, but I see it all through the lens of "before I met my husband." The single years are the "years before" my husband. The friendship we had is the friendship that led to marriage. The hard times were the times that led to fulfillment in marriage.

I think about life differently now, in the present, in part because of the influence of my husband, and in part because I now have another person that is permanently a part of my life. I have different responsibilities, responsibilities I never thought would change me, but certainly have.

I have learned to like new things in marriage, most notably food. My husband likes hamburgers, tacos, pizza, and pasta--much different from the-Filipino style food on which I grew up. I'm not sure I totally like all of these, but I at least eat them more often. I have rock climbed more because of my husband. I learned about the, "Peaches" (1996) song (though I don't LIKE it). I guess maybe I should not say that I have learned to like new things, but that I try more new things because of marriage.

There are quite a few things I don't do now that I am married, too. My focus is a lot more singular. Yes, I live my own life, but my life affects my husband. I made the vow to choose him, and I can't go back. I really don't care about some of those old things, either. They don't matter now. My husband matters. My marriage matters. I choose it above the rest. I committed to choose my husband forever into the future when I married.

I hardly recognize my old self. I remember her, but she doesn't exist anymore. The new me is the married me. Anything before seems like a strange memory, because at this point, it is strange. It should be strange, because after I said my vows four years ago, I became one with my husband. We started an "us" identity, and that opened up for us a whole new life.

Reference:

The Presidents of the United States of America. (1996). Peaches. On The Presidents of the United States of America.

Taking Time

Sharing my husband is hard. I am not sure I will ever find it easy. There are times when I find it easier, though, times when I can let him go with sadness, but less angst, and definitely not bitterness and resentment. When are those times? Times when I feel like we are in a good place. Times when I feel like he has prioritized our time before giving away his time. Times when we took time together before the big event.

Why do I feel better about letting my husband go when we have had time together first? Because I feel "full." I feel secure. I feel like I can let go without losing. Other times, when our time together has been scarce, I feel so panicky and possessive, not my finer points.

So what is my solution to when I know I need to share my husband? Spend quality time with my husband before the event. Make time. Take time. Sure, sometimes I have to share him without advance notice (eg in the case of emergency), but when there's a social event, I can plan ahead. And really, I should always be working to keep our relationship "overfull," so that we always have something to share.

Sharing My Husband With Others

My husband is a very capable person, very talented, and very personable. Yes, I am proud of him, but that is not the primary point of this post. This post is about how everyone seems to want a piece of him, and how I have trouble sharing.

I learned years ago that blessings are meant to be shared. I guess I am still learning that. I struggled first with jealousy when my parents poured into others. I wanted them to pour into me. But then I realized that God gave me the gift of them as parents, and them helping others would never change that. I cared less about them helping others after I got married. Yes, I wanted to spend time with them, but I felt less possessive. Then came marriage. I loved the man my husband was, and when he proposed, I felt privileged to marry him and promise to love him forever. I soon realized that other people loved him, too.

Other people love my husband because of the kind and compassionate person that he is. They benefit from being in relationships with him. Sure, they don't love him like a wife, but they love him nonetheless, and they want time from him. I don't want all of his time. I don't take all of his time when we are home together, but when he goes out, or helps others, sometimes I get jealous. It is like I suddenly get a scarcity mindset and think I need all of him.

My dear college friend C. Salena (2023) posted about this on Facebook a while back. She said, "Don't be jealous, possessive, or carnally overly protective of your loved ones. The world needs them. If their life is a gift, let God give it....Don't be jealous....The world needs them...If their life is a gift." All things I needed to hear. All things I needed to consider. Yes, God gifted me with my husband. Yes, I love him and want to spend time with him. God made him, and God gave him, though. He is not mine to possess, but mine to graciously share. God is in charge, not me! To go further, I should see sharing my husband as a privilege, as an honor. How might God use him, and me?

Sharing is not just for kids. It is for kids, and adults. For the unmarried, and the married. All is a gift from God. Can I steward it well? Can I steward my husband well? Can I share? In God's strength, I hope I keep learning, so that not only I, but others, might benefit, and that God might increasingly get the glory. Amen!

Reference:

Wells, C. S. (2023, January 20). I really struggled with friendships growing up military and being from a city where trust and love couldn't be freely. [Status update]. Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/cecilia.s.wells