The Snapback Effect

I am a person of limited means and measures. Sometimes I blame my job. Sometimes I think I am highly sensitive. Sometime I say it is because I am an introvert. Whatever the case, I only have a little bit of bandwidth, and it only goes so far.

Friends continually invite my husband and/or I out to do things. We love them for it. We appreciate it! I, however, often have to tell my husband that something is too much of a stretch. I hate that! Really, I do! I want to be a kind, friendly, hospitable, sociable, trophy type of wife, but I am not. I am a limited, sensitive, stay at home (but working full time) type of wife. When it comes to social invitations, I have to ask myself, can I stretch myself? If yes, how far? Because the reality is, that when I stretch myself too far, my husband gets the snap back. He gets the crankiness, irritability, and/or full on meltdowns, and that's not right.

My husband is my priority. Limited or not, I want to make time and space to love and support him. That might mean I have to say, "No" to a lot more things outside the home. I am sorry, but then again, I am not. More than I hate feeling ashamed of my limited capacities, I hate feeling guilty for having mistreated my husband when I have overstretched. 

The snapback. It isn't pretty. It isn't nice. I am trying to keep in in mind when making decisions, even if those decisions are hard. That's what love does. It requires us to prioritize. For me, in the end, I would rather stay back than snap back.