Real Life Marriage: When Opposites Attract

I did a lot of research when I was dating my husband. Yes, I am that person. I wanted to see how our personalities aligned, when we should cross certain milestones in our relationship (like saying the, "L" word), etc. I also did some straight up search of public legal records, but I will save that story for another time. Anyway, what I found in all my research was that my husband's and I's personality types were not really a good match. I thought about it and prayed about it, and I reasoned that if God brought us together, He would make things work out, and He did, and He is.

I am more of a concrete person (a judger on the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator). My husband is more of a dreamer (a perceiver on the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator). This serves us well when we need to plan things. He dreams up the idea. I work with him on the details of the steps we need to get there. Together, we can succeed.

Sometimes, though, our differences bite us in the behind. He dreams, and I cannot see a way to achieve the dream. In wrestling with the abstract, I throw out all the reasons I am not sure something can work and bring him down like a lead balloon. This discourages him and can cause him to not want to share his dreams with me. This cycle drives us apart, rather than bringing us together. It can also pit us against each other and make us each other's worst enemy rather than best ally.

The other night, though, we had a beautiful moment that made me thank God he made our opposite personalities attract. I have been struggling with something for a long time, needing an out, yet not seeing a way out. "What if..." my husband asked. He was just throwing out an idea, but suddenly, I had my out. I had a dream, that even if not realized, made me feel like I had a choice. I suddenly felt lighter, more hopeful, and more positive about the future. What a gift! What a gift it was to have a husband who could dream when I could not.

Yes, opposites do attract. There is a certain allure about someone who is different. I certainly would not want to marry myself! Differences can detract too, though. They can cause conflict. I hope I remember next time I experience conflict caused by personality differences, that these differences are a gift, a gift I need, and a gift that can bless me far beyond my wildest dreams. God knew what he was doing. God knows what He is doing. Glory be to God!