Strong Does Not Mean Hard.

I have been pondering lately what it means to be strong, not just in a physical sense, but in a mental sense. Does strong mean able to push through it all? Or does strong mean feeling it all, sometimes pushing through despite the pain, and sometimes pulling back to mitigate it? I think I am going with the latter.

I think for a long time I thought that strong meant hard. Gaining strength meant hardening to the pain of workouts, the struggles of life, and sometimes, to the agony of just living. I don't think so anymore. Rather, I think that strong means being able to feel the pain and know what to do with it.

Emotional health is not just remaining steady and stable. It's about having a right-sized reaction to situation, or as Lisa D'Amour (2023) says, managing emotions effectively, in a way that helps, rather than harms. That is where real strength comes in.

Real strength is not shoving down the pain. Ignoring physical pain can lead to serious injury and being unable to at times, even physically move. Dismissing emotional pain disconnects the brain and the body. It neglects empathy and can fracture and shatter relationship. It disconnects the self. It hardens the self against receiving help from God or anyone.

I don't want to be strong and hard. I want to have strength that allows me to be soft. I want my strength to match my days (Deuteronomy 33:25). I want to be able to recognize where my strength ends and where God's for me begins. I want to have strength to know that I will make it through any trial God takes me to. Hardness is not going to get me anywhere but stuck right here, shriveled up, dried out, dried up, and with no place else to go. That's no place I want to be.

Reference:

Bowler, K. (Host). (2023, September 19). Lisa D'Amour: Understanding today's teenagers. (S11, E3) [Audio podcast episode]. In Everything Happens. https://katebowler.com/podcasts/understanding-todays-teenagers/