“Nope! Not married.”
That's the response I wrote to
tonight's Bible study question, “Would you describe yourself as a
'husband-liker'? Why or why not?”
This study is supposed to be about
biblical womanhood: married, singled, divorced, widowed, or some
other status. One of the authors is even unmarried! But here I am
again reading something that makes it seem like the highest and
holiest calling in life is to get married. I get that marriage images
God, that it describes His love for us, that I'm supposed to value
and encourage its institution. Marriage is a great thing! I don't
dispute that! But guess what, I'm not married,
and it's not like there's a whole lot I can do about it.
I wish
the church would value
single people. I wish the church would ask me what unique
characteristics I have to contribute since I'm single and not
married. I wish that I didn't have to describe my family (or lack
thereof) and its support or lack of support for my endeavors on
every church ministry application. These are great
questions for the married, but
not for the single. When I answer these questions, I feel less than,
like the church will turn me down because I don't have the support
system of a husband. Guess what? I can't help it!
And
what if God never wants me to marry? Paul talks about the benefits of
non-marriage in 1 Corinthians 7. What if I can best fulfill God's
calling on my life as a single person?
What if I'm always
going to be single? First of all, can I accept it, and second,
church, can you accept it? Can you allow
me to serve just as I am? Can you help me see the value in the stage
of life I'm in? Can you encourage me to remain faithful to God and to
the people around me, even if one of them will never
be my husband?
Please,
church. Please include in your lessons messages for the married and
the single. Please value me
like you value the institution of family. Help
me find ways to encourage families and their pursuit of Jesus instead
of envying them and feeling ashamed that I'm not like them. As a
child of God, I'm part of the big
family of God. I'm not a black sheep, and I'm tired of being treated
like one.
