The dust hung heavy as the sunlight streamed in through the living room windows. I could see the dust in the air, on the wood, on my hands. And no matter how much I tried to wipe that dust off, it clung to me, and to the surfaces from which I was trying to remove it. Sure, I removed some of it off, but the sun showed just how much more remained.
Life's like that. We've all got hurts, habits, hang-ups, and areas of just plain not knowing. The more we let the light in, the more we see we need to learn, grow, heal, and let go. Letting light in, whether via accountability, or preaching, or teaching, or plain old learning can be painful. It reveals our inadequacies. It shows us how much we don't know. It shows us how much dust yet remains.
But as we learn and grow, some of the dust clears or disappears. The sun exposes and reflects beautifully off the cleaned areas, even as it still shows the dusty ones. Light reveals life just as it reveals stagnation.
I'm not always all about living the vulnerable life. It's uncomfortable. I feel exposed. But if I have to let in the light to get some clarity, bring on the Son.
I told someone recently that it's been a rough several years. It is not that my life is bad. In fact, I am very blessed. I have a job and a home and family and friends. But emotionally, life been tough. There have been a lot of highs and lows and everything in between. Sometimes I just feel emotionally beat up and bruised and don't know how to recover.
I've been telling myself lately that I need to find a life. It's not that I don't have a life, but that I need to be more diligent in trying to things to do other than sleep, eat, work, and repeat. And the things I choose to do need to be sustainable and attainable. They need to help fill my heart so that I have energy and life to live and give. These past few weekends, God has given me the following activities to fill my heart:
1) Hiking: This requires some planning and exertion, but the sun and the effort and the stillness of nature calm my spirits and promote rest in my body.
2) Quality conversation: I don't have a lot of friends here, but when I actually make time for the few I have, it's worth it. Sometimes quality conversation looks getting creative with time differences to schedule a phone date over the distance, too. I don't really need a lot of friends, just quality ones who will be iron sharpening iron and speak truth into my life.
3) Cooking: It's a simple thing, but therapeutic in its own right. It's so fulfilling to chop or knead or stir or bake something into existence. And the eating of the food is enjoyable, too.
Self-care isn't all about activities. Sometimes it's about rest and alone time and quite frankly, plain old isolation or hibernation. But for me, I'm realizing that I need to balance effortless activities with some efforted activities. May God continue to show me the way....
Summer is my favorite season. Why? There's sun and heat and hiking and good eats and so much more. I've written plenty of serious posts lately, so I thought I'd use today to give you a taste of what it's like to summer in Arizona.
Fire. Be fire-wise in Arizona, but also be forewarned that fires are part of our lives. They serve their purpose in clearing out death and decay, but they are also very dangerous. This fire was close to our home, but thankfully got put out quickly.
The rodeo.
And the rodeo parade. We have the World's Oldest Rodeo in Prescott, and going to it each year is a major tradition in my family.
Hiking. The lakes are low, but they are still beautiful.
Concerts. No, I'm not a King and Country roadie, but I have seen them twice this year.
Sunrises.
And sunsets. Days are long and hot here in the summer, but the mornings and evenings make it all worth it.
Cantaloupe. A refreshing treat on hot days.
And cookouts. Because why cook inside when you can leave the heat outdoors?
Fourth of July. We had no fireworks this year due to the drought, but I had my own two candles to celebrate year two in Arizona.
Monsoons look like they're starting to come. They aren't my favorite, but we do need the moisture.
Summers in Arizona are no doubt kind of crazy, but that's the way things go. There's a reason I call my Instagram My Arizona Adventure! Life is an adventure, and I'm thankful for it.
