LESS Lying (To Myself)

If you've been reading along, it's been a (few) months. Truly, my life is not the worst it could be, but it is not the best, either. There is one thing I would like to do more of (running), but I can't do that. And there are a lot of things I could do less of. Up for consideration this month were less running (but hey, I'm already doing that), less overthinking (decide once), less loneliness (to motivate me to reach out to friends), less discontent (with a focus on increasing novelty, and less lying to myself. I settled on that last one on the premise that doing what I said I would do would help my motivation, and my mental health. I also kept seeing wellness creator Ashley LeMieux talk about the transformational nature of keeping promises to herself . I told myself to keep at least one promise to myself a day, but I didn't even do that. Here's what I did do:

I realized that a lot of promises to myself come down to a time crunch. I tell myself I'll do the fun thing, the self-care thing, the thing for myself after I get all my other responsibilities done. When I've completed those responsibilities, though, I often don't have time to do "my" thing, or I am just too tired to enjoy it. 

I experimented with keeping promises to myself, even if it meant running late (usually to work, or to my self-appointed next task). Thankfully I didn't actually shirk too many of my duties. (I have some flexibility with my admin time at work, for example, and if I get to work a little later, I can make up that time elsewhere.) I did find it stressful to run late, however.

I tried remaking promises to myself when I failed the first one (e.g. getting out for a walk at 6:30 instead of 6 AM). Sometimes, I still failed the second promise. Sometimes I failed a third time. And sometimes, I just didn't do anything for myself at all.

In some ways, keeping promises to myself reduced overthinking. If I told myself I was going to do something, I needed to do it in order not to make myself a liar. I realized that I can't just keep giving up on myself and expecting life to get better. I have to "bet on" myself by taking risks. And following through on things is making myself a truth-teller, whereas chickening out makes me a liar.

I could do a lot better to truth tell to myself. I could do better about being motivated and making promises to myself. Ultimately, I think that comes down to resting in the Truth Teller Himself, Jesus Christ, and my identity in Him. I could do to be a lot better connected to Him, and if I was, I would probably have a much, much better perspective on life and truly living in it.

Reference:

LeMieux, Ashley. [@AshleyLeMieux]. (2025, March 7). Keeping one promise a day to yourself is the most impactful way to change your life, and I’ll stand by. [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DG6MDSeSfg8/?hl=en

The More of LESS Report (June)

I said this was going to be a year of less, and it’s turning out to be one, though not in the way I would like. Having not run since May, I’m not at less miles, I am at zero miles. I’ve had a little less work, but a lot more doctor’s appointments. (Thankfully I’ve been able to take sick time for them.) I have been doing less, but mostly because I can't do more.

There are certainly blessings in the slow-down, but I’m also struggling. My motivation has been low, and I’ve frittered away much of my time instead of doing purposeful things with it. I’ve written less, spent little time with friends, and even reclused from my husband. I haven’t worn a full face of makeup in weeks. I stopped painting my nails for a while. I’m dressing in the comfiest, loosest, stretchiest clothes I have. I haven’t been greatly disciplined about sleep or making our meals more nutritious. (I’ve been eating a lot, but not in the best proportions, or from the best sources.) I have been tanking, spiraling, deteriorating. Whatever I want to call it, it’s hasn’t been the kind of purposeful, intent-full life of less for which I hoped. I feel like all my goals have gone into the dumpster, or at least not had much meaningful effort applied to them. Could I change things? Yes? No? Maybe? But what’s the point? I need a renewed sense of purpose. As for my LESS goals, well, let's just say I have been making less, rather than more progress:

January-LESS scrolling: This goal is definitely not goaling. I am spending way too much time on social media. I tell myself to stop, but then I pick my phone right back up to look for something that will take my mind off my inertia, bring a hit of dopamine to my dopamine depleted brain. It does not work, but I keep doing it, and that, my friends, is the definition of insanity.

February-LESS picking: This is better when I have my phone in my hand, but worse when I just feel terrible about my body.

March-LESS hunger (judgment): This goals is a, "Yes," and a "No." I have been "giving in" to my hunger a lot. Supposedly part of the cure for this injury is eating in excess so that the body will heal. Have I gained weight? Yep, at about a pound a week since I got injured. My dietitian says this is good, but it does not feel good. So in summary, yes, I have been "honoring," my hunger, but I have also been angry at it and uncomfortable with its results, so a draw in this one.

*Note, I guess in some ways, it is a blessing that I have been so hungry. Hunger makes it easier to eat the amount I supposedly need to heal. Stuffing myself would make me feel even worse.

April-LESS goals: Well, I am stagnated here. I keep trying to find a goal that interests me as much as running, and so far, the only thing I have been doing is cooking more sourdough recipes. That is good, but not necessarily a parallel or "replacement."

In an effort to try to get motivated, I did start stacking up the goals again, too. This month, I was working towards a five minute plank challenge and a daily crunches challenge. That was probably too much on top of physical therapy exercises. I also tried to reach out to a friend everyday. Maybe I did not need to make this a daily goal, but it did help me at least try to navel gaze less.

May-LESS no: I honestly kind of forgot about this goal until my husband asked me to do some things. One thing, I asked to do on a different day. In the second instance, when I got him a lobster roll for National Lobster Day, I gave my immediate, "No," to his offer of a bite. I did realize this, though, and kind of prayed he would ask again so I could say, "Yes." He asked. I said, "Yes," and I have to say, lobster is not worth the hype, in my opinion. But hey, I kept with an intention in a small way for one day. (And a few other days, I made it, too.)

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In other areas, I find I am not missing the "less" in my closet much at all. In fact, growing out of my clothes might make my closet even more minimal!This month, I tried to clean out some of our freezer stores of food. (I used quite a bit, but we still have a bit. Frozen meals are not bad, but when the chest freezer no longer has room to fit much more, it is time to decrease inventory.) I have been doing less activities, and missing them, but surviving. Honestly, I would really like a "more" life right now, but for right now, this is the life I have. By God's grace, and in His power, may I be grateful for it and at least for the next month, complain a little less.

LESS No

I realized somewhere along the way that I say, "No," a lot, so much so that I often mind myself saying "No" without thinking. I say, "No" to social invitations. I say, "No" to surprise plans. I say, "No" to treats people want to share. I think, "No" has become a protective reflex. "No" is a way to prevent anxiety due to changing of plans. "No" is a way to avoid that overthinking spirals in which I find myself often. "No" is a way to keep my space small, and in my control.

I do not necessarily want to live a small life, though. I want to live a wide, expansive life. I want to live with joy and whimsy, so this month, I told myself to try to say, "No" less, and "Yes" more. It kind of worked, until it didn't.

When I chose this, "less" for the month, I envisioned a month of fun and celebration. What my injury brought on was a lot of saying, "Yes," to medical appointments and, "Yes" to help doing everyday tasks (like carrying in groceries, carrying the grocery bags back out to the car, doing chores, etc.). It kind of stinks.

I did get a chance to say, "Yes" to a few fun things, though. I said, "Yes" to dinner with my husband after we got back from that fated race, even though it was late and downtown was mobbed. I said, "Yes" to establishing a morning coffee routine. [To me, caffeine is a vice, but apparently collagen might help with fracture recovery, so coffee with collagen is a frequent occurrence right now, instead of a sporadic pre-run supplement (Karaytug, 2021; Konig, 2018; Sun et al., 2025.] I said, "Yes" to my husband taking me to ride a ferris wheel for the first time. I did say, "No" to Dippin' Dots on that trip, though, which made me sad because although it did not sound good at the time, I have never had it before.

I said, "Yes" to taking on some roles I did not plan with my brother's wedding. Maybe that was me channeling big sister bossiness, but I hope my, "Yes" let them say a few more, "No's" and enjoy their special day. I said more, "No's" then I probably should have on that trip, but saying, "Yes" to every goodie that came my way (eg at the lavish rehearsal dinner) would have left me feeling ill. I guess their are some places to say, "No."

I said, "No" to sourdough during our San Francisco day, but then I got redemption when my husband asked again. (He claims he gave me some at the restaurant, but I don't think so). I didn't really want sourdough, but it was good to take a bite and remember that I like my husband's sourdough better.

My increasing number of medical appointments has forced me to say, "No" to work obligations and give up a few more of my responsibilities there. (Thankfully, my director is understanding.) While I would rather go on with life as it was, I have to step back in order to take care of myself. Needless to say, this month of less has not turned out as I hoped. 

I imagine that I will continue to need to say, "No" for the sake of my health and well-being, but even in that, there are probably rooms to say more, "Yes." Maybe I don't always want to say, "Yes" to all, things, but a few more yesses would probably benefit me. They could continue to expose me to new experiences, and bring me for joy. This month was practice in trying to stop defaulting to, "No." Maybe it could be "Let me think about it," or "Give me a minute." That would at least give me a chance at an experience versus always missing out....

References:

Karaytug, K., Arzu, U., Ergin, O. N., Bilgili, F., Unverengil, G., Bayram, S., & Sen, C. (2021). Effects of Collagen- and Arginine-Fortified Osteokine Supplementation on Fracture Healing. Cureus, 13(10), e19072. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.19072

König, D., Oesser, S., Scharla, S., Zdzieblik, D., & Gollhofer, A. (2018). Specific Collagen Peptides Improve Bone Mineral Density and Bone Markers in Postmenopausal Women-A Randomized Controlled Study. Nutrients, 10(1), 97. https://doi.org/10.3390/nu10010097

Sun, C., Yang, A., Teng, F., & Xia, Y. (2025). Efficacy of collagen peptide supplementation on bone and muscle health: a meta-analysis. Frontiers in nutrition, 12, 1646090. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnut.2025.1646090

The More of Less Report (May)

Well, this has not been a great month. (See my post from last week for more details.) I have given into plenty of vices and I am not proud of it. I am not very proud of anything right now. I am just surviving. But anyway, onto how that has affected my year of less.

January-LESS scrolling: Did I scroll less this month? Oh no. I scrolled a lot. Nir Eyal (2019) writes in Indistractable that people scroll to escape discomfort. I definitely did that this month. I scrolled to distract myself from both the physical pain of my injury, as well as the emotional and mental pain of it. I scrolled to distract myself. I scrolled to numb. None of it really worked. It just prolonged the hard work of grief that I need to do. It also perpetuated the continually shorter attention span that I seem to be developing.

February-LESS picking: My habits have been all over the place this month. I kept up some of my skin care, and just suffered through at other times. Honestly, I did not give this goal much, if any priority.

March-LESS hunger (judgment): Of the few goals I made for April, the one I did keep was to increase my intake of healthy fats. Well, it was too little too late. I got that injury I have been fearing. From what I read, not fueling well enough keeps bone from repairing itself as fast as it should.

When my injury happened, my training load went down, a lot. I had a hard time even getting in the minimum grams required from my carb load. I got a little bit hungrier after running, but still not as much as usual.

The first few days of my injury, I was not very hungry at all. Then, despite my much lower intensity, and lower volume training, my hunger spiked. Apparently this is normal, as injury recover boosts energy needs 10-20% (Hughen, 2024). While in the past, I had tried to reduce dairy and processed foods to address my high cholesterol, now I am here for all of it. I imagine I am going to gain weight from what I am doing, and that may be uncomfortable, but if I want to heal (and I do), that is the price I will pay.

April-LESS goals: Well, this one unintentionally came to fruition. My goals were to rehab what I thought was tendinopathy to run another race at the end of the month. I can't even do the exercises I wanted to do to get ready for the race, and the race goal is long-gone. I did read Sara Hall's (2026) book For the Love of the Grind, though, so I met that goal. Hallelujah for non-running goals....

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Apparently this year of less is also going to include less running. Hopefully it lets me rest. Hopefully it helps me reprioritize. My goal with less was to focus on what really matters. I guess I am going to learn that a very hard way....

References:

Eyal, N. (2019). Indistractable: How to control your attention and choose your life. Ben Bella Books.

Hall, S. (2026). For the love of the grind: A memoir. St. Martin's Press.

Hughen, C. (Host). (2024, October 22). Nutritional priorities during rehab w/ Adrian Chavez (No. 171) [Audio podcast episode]. In E3 r3hab. https://e3rehab.libsyn.com/171-nutritional-priorities-during-rehab-w-adrian-chavez

LESS Goals

I set way too many goals for March:

Declutter at least one item a day.

Read a daily entry from a devotional book (on top of my usual Bible reading).

Research every day for our trip.

Do yoga every day.

The last one was actually good for my mental health. The rest got a little bit onerous. In and of themselves, they were not bad goals, but together, they all added up to equal more stress. I found myself rushing around a lot of nights after work trying to check off my list of daily goals, so this month, I set less, and I made goals for the month, not the day:

1) Swim two laps at least one a week.

2) Increase my healthy fat intake at least a certain amount (on the way to the goal my running nutritionist set for me).

3) Declutter and donate the big brown box by the end of the month.

I also quit some things:

I quit trying to read and listen to my daily Bible passages. Maybe that is a bad thing, but I did not believe I was getting much more out of listening to the passages than reading them, and trying to get the audio recordings finished each morning delayed my readings of the next passages, so I quit. I did keep up reading my devotional book. I appreciated it for bite-sized theological nuggets. My husband and I also read a daily devotional together in the morning. Maybe it's not "enough," but it's something.

I quit researching for our trip. At this point, I have found more things to do that we will have time to do, and it really is not my trip anyway. It is my husband's.

I quit tracking wind speed and direction in my running log. The Apple fitness app doesn't give it to me, which means I needed to open up the weather app each day to find it. Wind is an interesting stat, but not one I really look at that much. In fact, now that I think of it, I don't often look back at the weather information either. I mostly look back at my paces. Maybe I want to scrap weather tracking all together. That is food for thought for the future.

I told myself I could quit decluttering, but I still had that big, brown box. To be honest, decluttering also felt like either a conviction or a compulsion, maybe both. While I kept doing it, I had to look harder and harder for things to discard or donate. On the flip side, I found myself wanting to buy new and shiny things. Not the point, Sarah!

I kept up with the yoga, but after completing the Amanda Elle (n.d.). playlist through which I was working, I had to look harder for the shorter types of practice I like to do after work. That means yoga, too, started to become work. Good things take time and effort, but I really need to decide which ones are worth my time, and which ones aren't. Isn't that part of the purpose of LESS? To have more time for what matters?

So here I sit at the end of another month. We did donate that box, so we have that many less things in my house. I dropped some goals. I dropped some habits. What's left? What of what's left still matters? That is what I'm still on a quest to find out (with lots of prayers and questioning and discussions with my husband)!

Reference:

Elle, A. (n.d.). 5 minute yoga [Playlist]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGSleEMpW_U&list=PL9EBPDA6SCdYgxjSGj_50ls7utbpQrDUL

The More of Less Report (April)

(I generated this photo with Canva AI.)

Here's the tea on my journey towards less:

January: Less scrolling: Did I scroll less this month? Yes. No. After Lent, I always want to "catch up." That led to spending three hours and six minutes on Instagram alone. My time the following weeks was less, but still more than it was when I was off social media. My attention span has also been poor. (Is that the screen time, or me?) I didn't have the focus to get into my books as much, so when I wanted a little dopamine "snack," I popped open Instagram, or occasionally Pinterest. I did keep Facebook off my phone, so that's something....

February: Less picking: I continue to try to take a little better care of my skin. Sometimes, I am less obsessive about it than others. Really, I just need to keep myself and my hands busy!

March: Less hunger (judgment): My hunger really did abate some about a month post marathon, so maybe it really was recovery hunger. As I increased training again, though, I noticed some of it coming back. While I am definitely not eating as much as during heavy marathon training, I do need quite a bit of fuel, and my hunger tells me that.

If I want to run, and run fast, I need to eat, and I probably need to eat more. That is kind of counterintuitive when it seems everyone around me is trying to "cut back," but in this case, more is less risk of injury and overtraining, as well as less crankiness. 

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We donated the big brown box. I think that marks the end of my intentional decluttering phase-for now. I do want to be more mindful about what I bring into the house. Maybe I will follow the "one in, one out" rule? We will see. I am sure I/we could get rid of more, but for now, this is the stage of less at which we are.

LESS Hunger (Judgement)

My running nutrition coach told me to eat like a marathoner for a least two days after my race (Moore, n.d.). I guess I thought that meant my hunger would decrease significantly thereafter. That has not been the case. Rather, despite my rapidly reduce mileage, I have been very, very hungry.

I judged my hunger as "too much," which made me feel yucky eating "so much," but then again, I hate being hungry, so I ate to satiation anyway. And so I decided my LESS this month would be to judge my hunger less, to eat intuitively, and see what happened.

My running nutrition coach told me that I needed to fuel better, and I was (Moore, n.d.). I started implementing more of her suggestions post race (to make sure that they did not upset my stomach as I finished training). I expected that increasing my consumption of things like healthy fats and more whole foods would lead to increased satiety. Not so. Even with adding in all these thngs, I still felt very hungry. And so I ate, and ate some more.

My running nutrition coach warned me that I would gain weight as I fueled better. I had already gained a bit of weight by the time of my marathon. What I didn't expect was for it to continue, at a rather rapid pace. It was fine. I could stand to gain weight. It just didn't feel good.

Instead of judging my hunger, I tried to be curious. I played around with timing of my meals, meal composition, etc. A few times, I experienced less hunger, but overall, it was high. Maybe my stomach was just used to being more full, and it needed some time to constrict back to its normal size? (How do you convince your body you no longer need as many calories after the marathon?, 2024). A few times, I tried to eat not quite to satiety, what I "used to" eat when I was running less, but that didn't feel good either. I was pretty terrified of getting an underfueling injury if I ate too little. I wanted to get back to training. So I just ate. 

I researched explanations for my hunger. I heard on a podcast (and then later read) that increased hunger, even when training less can be a result of underfueling (Alm, 2026, Senior-Runner, 2025). My nutrition coach did tell me that she thought I was underfueling, so maybe that was it. (I wasn't losing weight, so I thought I was okay. I guess not.) I read about post-race weight gain due to inflammation, but that didn't explain my hunger, or the fact that I seemed to be continuing to put on weight over a month post race (Krapcha, 2024). I saw on Reddit that weight gain is common in the back half of marathon training, and afterward (Becka_Swan, 2026). I even saw on one forum that it is normal for weight to go up for months post marathon, and then eventually stabilize (JRMischler, 2017). I assume hunger being higher would go along with that. I also saw the hypothesis that longer running efforts just made the body hang onto more to be "safe" (SpinorsSpin4, 2026). That all made sense.

In the end, I wanted to run more than I wanted to be back to my "old self," so I worked on hunger acceptance. This is not my old self. This is a new, two-marathon run body. Maybe I've gained muscle. (I did up my dumbbells to 15 pounds again, but I am still only training strength about twice a week.) (Hnatiuk, 2023; MankyPants, 2025). Maybe I've gained fat. Whichever, whatever the case, I need to honor hunger. While here at the end of the month, it has seemed to abate some, I am also returning to training more, which means I need to eat more. I said I was going to do the work to fuel better, and I guess this is all part of it. So here's not to less hunger, but to less judgement of it; to honoring it and seeing what it feeds.

References:

Alm, M. (Host). (2026, February 13). Q&A with Maddie - 24. (S2 E03) [Audio podcast episode]. Fueling forward. https://rss.com/podcasts/fuelingforwardpodcast/2545725/

[Becka_Swan]. (2026, February 26). Have done 2 marathons now - with both I lost a little bit as I started ramping up, but then when [Comment on the online forum post Have you gained or lost weight when marathon training?] Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/XXRunning/comments/1rf3225/have_you_gained_or_lost_weight_when_marathon/

Hnatiuk, S. (Host). (2023, November 11). Why you're gaining weight (despite so much running!). [Audio podcast episode]. The fuel run recover podcast. https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/stephanie-hnatiuk/episodes/Why-Youre-Gaining-Weight-despite-doing-so-much-running-e27kg16

How do you convince your body you no longer need as many calories after the marathon? (2024). [Online forum post]. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/Marathon_Training/comments/1cncxa2/how_do_you_convince_your_body_you_no_longer_need/

[JRMischler]. (2017, February 10).  I normally gain about 5 to 8 lbs in the 3 to 4 months after a marathon.  During that time [Comment on the online forum post Post-Marathon Bloat/Weight Gain]. Running ahead. https://www.runningahead.com/forums/post/1009a4b2c6754233964e5ecc838cff81

Krapcha, K. (2024, February 26). Run tri mag. https://runtrimag.com/weight-gain-after-ultramarathon/

[MankyPants]. (2025). Ha! I gained 10kg, and I’m petite. It happens. On the upside I’ve run multiple PBs during my training and [Comment on the online forum post Feeling lost after my marathon, struggling with binge eating and unsure about London next year]. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/Marathon_Training/comments/1omrj9c/feeling_lost_after_my_marathon_struggling_with/

Moore, E. (n.d.). The Dietitian Runner. https://thedietitianrunner.com/

[Senior-Running]. (2025). My initial reaction here is that you're overthinking this?

You mention a difference in mileage of 25 miles in a [Comment on the online forum post Struggling with hunger after a training block]. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/Marathon_Training/comments/1njbwb6/comment/nep36rs/

[SpinorsSpin4]. (2026, February 16). I gain weight when my volume gets higher too. I think when I'm consistently doing longer efforts, my body just [Comment on the online forum post Does anyone else gain weight when running more?]. Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/Ultramarathon/comments/1r6fcte/does_anyone_else_gain_weight_when_running_more/

The More of Less Update (March)

We are three months into the year now, so instead of individual posts, I'm moving to one update on my word of the year, and progress towards it.

January: Less scrolling. Well, thanks to Lent, I am mostly off social media. I log into Facebook daily to check birthdays (because I like sending greetings) and a few times a week to update my blog page. I occasionally find myself scrolling, but try to hold back. 

I am on Instagram only to check the Yogi See Yogi Do Crew pose and make sure no one has hacked my account. For some reason, I have not been as tempted to scroll there. Having the apps off my phone really does help!

I am accessing my pins on Pinterest, and still have that app on my phone so I can save things I find on the Internet, but otherwise, I am not scrolling there.

But what am I doing? I realized that scrolling Reddit might be breaking my (mostly) Lenten abstinence. I also have a problem saving way too many possible books to read in the library Libby app. And I like to scroll podcasts and read snippets, just to see what's up. It's like my brain is always looking for "that thing." I guess it's good to recognize that my brain wants little dopamine "snacks." I just need to have enough self-control to stop scrolling after I get that (or find otherwise to get that "high").

February: Less picking. I am really a sensory person, and I am realizing that a lot of things about my skin bug me. So for starters, I am trying to take better care of it. This month, that looked like breaking into my new (expensive to me) Avon face cream. While I didn't expect to see results, man, do I! Although I am still having some breakouts, my skin is smoother and seems glow-ier (if that's a word). Props to my amazing Avon lady for this recommendation.

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And in other news, I have been reading a lot of books about minimalism--probably too many at this point, as they are all starting to run together, and I now have, as Kendra Adachi (2026) puts it "big black trash bag energy." While I cannot throw everything away, I did make a goal to declutter at least one item a day this month. Sometimes that looks like shredding old documents. Sometimes it is contributing items to the big brown donation box in the corner of the bedroom. I am trying to declutter my own stuff and not drive my husband crazy. I don't know how much I am really simplifying, but I am looking at things with new eyes. If we have duplicates we are not using, or I have not used something in a while, it is going away! And hey, at least I can fit the potato masher in the bin on the counter now, instead of fighting with the drawer into which I'd wedged. That makes my weekly potato mashing easier. 

As Rachelle Crawford reminded me with her book, Messy Minimalism, the goal of less is to be more present. The goal of less is to live more of life, and not just fill it with more stuff. At some point, sorting ends and a person has to sit with some hard stuff. I am not sure I am there yet, as I think I overfilled myself this month by setting too many daily goals (declutter, do yoga, read, etc.) as I saw a little space opened up in this season of "less."  May God continue to guide and provide, and may my attempts at less always point to Him!

References:

Adachi, K. (Host). (2026, March 16). How to better channel your big black trash bag energy. (No. 460) [Audio podcast episode]. The lazy genius. https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/lazy/bbtbe

Crawford, R. (2021). Messy minimalism: Real life strategies for the rest of us. Broadleaf books.

LESS Picking (Another Exercise in Awareness)

I have a bad habit of picking at imperfections in my skin and hair. After several bad breakouts on my face, I wondered if touching my skin less would help. Admittedly, it was a vain motivation.

I considered buying some type of acne treatment for my skin, but then thought better of it. If my goal is less, buying more products is not the answer. I tried to touch my skin less, but then gave up. Seeing and feeling blemishes made me want to pick at them to reduce them. I kept thinking that if I stopped looking in the mirror, I would mess with my face less. But blemishes sometimes hurt, too, so I feel them.

Same with my hands. My cuticles are always a mess. The only way to not feel hangnails, etc. is to constantly trim them, and even then, my hands are still rough and dry. I kept telling myself I should use the exfoliant I have by the kitchen sink, but did I? No. I did bother with my hands less when I had my nails painted for my marathon, as I didn't want to disrupt my polish. So there's that.

So again this month, I didn't really get to a place where I broke a habit or even did something less. (And spoiler alert, my skin still broke out off and on.) I just became more aware of the factors contributing to my habit (looking in the mirror and sensory discomfort) in this case. I would like to grow out of this habit and take better care of my skin and hair, but that takes more time and more intention. Will I do it? Who knows? I would like to, but only so many thing can be priority.

Reigniting Desire to Read God’s Word

I resolved this year to read my Bible, and to actually read it, not just listen to it. (Listening to the Bible is good, but what I believe I had started to default to out of laziness.) I tried to keep reading my Bible in the mornings, but I felt rushed and unfocused. I read my Bible a few evenings, on the premise that I had morning activities that might prevent or delay reading and you know what? It helped me get more interested and invested in reading.

I have been keeping a mental tally lately of things that motivate me to read God's word. I am thankful for this season of renewed fervor, yet know that I will mostly likely fall into struggle again. With that in mind, and with the recognition that others might struggle to read their Bibles, too, I thought I would share my current list of things that have in the past, or in the present or the future help might  reignite my desire to read:

1) Pick a new time of day. Brain function varies due to different demands. Life circumstances can also help make readings more or less difficult. Switching up reading times can help!

2) Choose a new translation. The western world is beyond blessed to have so many Bible translations available. Read a new one and see if it helps with re-engagement. 

*Caveat: Make sure to read a translation that is accurate. Paraphrases are good, but can assume a lot. Therefore, I try to read something translated from the Bible's original languages.

3) Find a new way to read. Try reading from a different book, or from an electronic device such as a phone or tablet. 

*Note, as pointed out in a recent episode of the Let's Talk podcast, people may not know a person reading on a device is reading the Bible, so if the person wants to make their spiritual discipline clear (e.g. to children or other viewers), reading a paper Bible might be best .

4) Journal. Writing by hand forces the two hemispheres of the brain to work together, resulting in more insights and deeper learning. Kinesthetic learners might find that journaling helps them recall the material read better, too.

5) Get accountable. A dear friend (who I hope reads this post) and I started swapping insights from our readings via text and e-mail. This helps us see new things, and it keeps us accountable for doing our readings, because we need to do so in order to have something to share.

The speakers in the Let's Talk podcast (linked above) stated that the goal if spiritual disciplines is a a soul that works right. The purpose of setting up spiritual disciplines is to create a pattern of life, not pursue perfection. If I am making it without my spiritual disciplines, I should be looking out for idols in my life, because really, I am made to feed on the Word of God.

Those are all my tips, my ways to reignite desire for reading God's word. I hope they work. I hope the Spirit works. He is the one who really is in charge of igniting a passion to seek after God through reading His Word after all. Practicing the spiritual discipline of reading God's word is really just making room for Him to work, and inviting him into life to do so.

The Power of Routine and Ritual

I am a creature of habit. A servant of routine and ritual at times. In my life, I find that routines and rituals serve me. Let me explain.

But first, what are routines and rituals? Routines are sets of actions regularly practiced. Rituals are actions that have the addition of meaning and purpose. Routines can become rituals and rituals can become routine, but not always. Some examples of routines are morning and night sequences of actions, work or class schedules, or even athletic practices. Rituals can include prayer, food, and celebration. Some people hate routines. I like them.

Routines

1) Routines help ground me. They calm my nervous system by telling it what to expect. I don't have to face a day in sheer panic because I know I have a morning routine list that I stick to. I don't have to fear day's end because I know I have a bedtime ritual that helps calm me before sleep. Even when in-between times are crazy, I make time for these routines because of their impact on my sense of peace.

2) Routines help me get important stuff done. With routines, I know that each task of the week (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.) has a set time. I can worry about that chore only during that time (or that is what it is supposed to do). Without routine, I feel under constant pressure to remember all my "to-dos." 

3) Routines help reduce feelings of scarcity. When I recall that a certain day is grocery day, I feel less anxiety about running out of a certain item. When I remember that I will my husband at dinner every night, I feel less panicked when he can't respond to my text during the day. Routines of e-mailing my family help me feel like they are close, and not far away, even if I am not seeing them in person.

Routines serve me for many reasons. They also help me remember my rituals. I include rituals in my routines to both calm me and get important stuff done. In that way, the two are interwoven.

Rituals

1) Rituals connect me to God. I include prayer and Bible reading in my morning routine because I need access to my Higher Power and to His truth. I struggle with the craziness of life even with these things. Without them, I am unfounded and ungrounded.

2) Rituals help me celebrate and find joy in everyday moments. For example, my family of origin and now my husband and I have pancakes for breakfast most Saturday mornings. This is not something we can do every Saturday, but doing it most Saturdays marks that time as special. I also drink tea, coffee, or hot chocolate with most of my breakfasts and night time snacks. I like my drinks really hot, which means I have to slow down and savor them. That helps me slow down and center, and that calm benefits me for the day or night ahead.

3) Rituals help mark time. I walk in and out of my home or office between tel-events. That action used to be routine, but with COVID-19, it has become ritual, the ending of one thing and the beginning of another. In the blur of life, I need that.

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Routines and rituals serve me. They quiet my and calm me, but I also have to be careful not to get too attached. Life is not always predictable, and I often need to be flexible. But where I can, I will continue with what works because, it works!

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Please feel free to share any routines or rituals you observe in the comments section.

When Life is Tangled

I've kind of hit a wall in life lately. I'm smiling in this picture, but if you look closely, you'll notice a few things:

-I'm wearing two watches because that's how much I have to keep track of time.
-I'm carrying my lunch box with only a few fingers because I'm also trying to hold my keys.
-All the pockets of my backpack are partly or fully open, and stuff is about to fall out.
-The spiral binding of my notebook has come off and is stuck on a flap of said backpack.

Basically, I'm a mess. And that's my life. When I get to this stage, I need to take a step back. I need to get back to the basics and focus on the essentials:

• Having a consistent sleep schedule.
• Eating regularly.
• Keeping things clean and organized.
• Staying physically active.
• Remaining plugged in to truth (e.g. The Bible, God's Word)

When life gets messy, things get tangled. My priorities get out of whack. I get tired and exhausted and confused and emotional and overwhelmed. But when I get back to the basics, things tend to settle and relax and I can regain some focus. May God give me strength to major on the majors and let the rest of the stuff of life sort itself out.

Seven "Healthy" Habits I No Longer Practice

Those of you who have been around me for awhile know that health and wellness are kind of important to me. There's the fact that my body is God's temple (1 Cor 6:19-20), but there's also the truth that I'm a perfectionist and want to do everything exactly right. I've been pretty rigid about following health and wellness recommendations in the past, but over the past few years of living in Arizona and trying to live more intuitively, I've realized that some of those habits aren't healthy for me anymore. Here a few of the habits I've recently ditched:

1) "Clean" Eating: I used to avoid buying "processed foods" in an effort to simplify my life and stay healthy. But living at home with my family, I have regular access to convenience foods and treats. So when cereal, candy, ice cream, a granola bar,or pizza call to me, I have them. Often times this convenience food is healthier for me because I eat when I'm hungry, rather than slaving away in the kitchen to make something from scratch when I was already starving.

2) Vegetarianism: It worked for me for awhile, but it does't anymore. My family eats meat, so I had to start eating it, at least for dinner, when I moved home. When I started my new job and found my stress levels higher and my energy levels lower, I added some additional animal protein into the breakfast and lunch meals that I prepared. It hasn't seemed to hurt me and I've maybe gained a little bit of muscle.

3) Avoiding bottled water: I freaked out about BPA in plastic bottles when I was in college. After that, I tried to avoid bottles of water because of the environmental impact. But in Arizona when you're thirsty, you've got to drink! I try to refill my BPA free CamelBak water bottle when I can, but when I can't, I can't. The dangers of dehydration far outweigh the negative consequences of disposable water bottles, at least in my opinion.

4) Exercising when I'm dog tired: Some exercise is good, but too much is too much. I've been sick quite a bit this year and am learning to take days off or engage in lighter exercise. And some days there just isn't time to exercise. My 5K pace might be slowing, but exercise is a privilege and at least I'm still able to do it sometimes.

5) Eating low fat: I've had high cholesterol in the past and I avoided eggs, cheese, and full fat dairy. But lately I've been craving more protein and even butter (which I previously disliked). So I've been eating whatever calls to me. We'll see how my blood work turns out this year, but for right now, I'm trying to eat what make me feel good.

6) Skipping the salt: Too much salt can be bad for you, but I started craving salt more when I began cooking from scratch. Maybe it was because I ate less processed food. Maybe I just liked the salt. I don't know. Now I live in Arizona and need the electrolytes, so I salt my food liberally. I try not to overdo it, but sometimes it happens. Salt is one of my lesser worries.

7) Avoiding hand sanitizer: I truly believe in the power of soap and water and washing hands. I know that killing 99.9% of bacteria can bread an 0.1% bacteria monster, BUT I work with kids and they have SO many germs. Hand sanitizer and bleach wipes are my new friends, and I have still been getting sick. I wash my hands when I can and use more natural cleaning products at home, but at work, instant sanitizers are my friends!

Has anyone else ditched some "healthy" habits in the past year? Please share in the comments section.

This post was inspired by Catherine's blog post and I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post.