Different Gifts, Same God

We all have different gifts. The Scriptures say so. Is any gift worth more or less? No, but they look different, and sometimes that makes us feel valued more or less. The truth is that God values, and increases all.

Paul writes that God attributes grace and faith. God's grace, after all is what saves us through faith (Eph 2:8-9). Our faith, then depends on how much God gives us (Rom 12:3). All of us have the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23). Our different gifts reflect that Spirit (Rom 12, 1 Cor 12, Eph 4). Because the gifts are different, the results of their use looks different.

The apportionment of gifts pertains to the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30. Each servant got a different amount, but each servant who invested got the same return. As Stephen Armstrong (2019) shares, "Jesus’ parable on the laborers in Matthew 20:1-16 confirms equal material reward for equal faithfulness." Yes, "some believers must bear greater burdens in serving Christ (i.e., five talents)...while other believers are asked to make fewer sacrifices in serving the Lord (i.e., two talents). Nevertheless, all believers are expected to demonstrate faithfulness so as to receive an equal inheritance." What matters is not the gift, but the use of it.

It's easy to pass judgment on the service of others, but how do we know what God has given them? Maybe their gift is different. Maybe they received a different amount of the gift. Are they using it faithfully, though? Are we using are gifts faithfully? Instead of judging, let's encourage. Instead of measuring, let's manifest faithfulness. Our different gifts are meant to magnify the same God from whence they come. Our gifts are about his glory, not ours!

Reference:

Armstrong, S. (2019, April 3). Ezekiel-Lesson 44A. Verse by Verse Ministry International. https://www.versebyverseministry.org/lessons/ezekiel-44a

Afghan 70

I am going to affectionately call this the scrunch blanket. No, it wasn't supposed to be this way. It ended up with a scrunch due to a year of off and on work, different tension strengths over the course of that time, and many mistakes. I am not proud of this blanket, but in a way, I also am, because it took a lot of willpower to finish.

I used the wintergreen crochet baby blanket pattern for this one. I am not sure exactly how I was supposed to change colors, but to avoid constantly cutting and tying yarn, I ended up with four strings of yarn off one blanket. These tangled often, leading to much frustration. The pattern had multiple intricacies, like crossed single crochets, single/double crochet pattern, and using only back loops. I forgot some of these intricacies from time to time, which contributed to the scrunch.

I used Mainstays pink and white yarn for this afghan, along with Red Heart pumpkin. The different brands of yarn probably did not help with my gauge, and the scrunch. As usual, I crocheted with my ergonomic J hook.

In summary, finishing this afghan took perseverance. It goes to a special little girl whose parents have long awaited her arrival, not without some sorrow along the way. My struggle grows dim in light of the wonderful gift that she is. For this reason, I am thankful and excited to have completed the blanket when I did, in hopes that it will accentuate the joy of her birth.

Convicted...By a Mug!

I have a mug that reads, "Trust the process." The other morning, it convicted me. Yes, the mug, I mean God, by way of my "Trust the Process" mug, or maybe I should say mugs, plural, because I used it in conjunction with my "Mrs." mug. I felt the Spirit's nudge asking me, "Do you 'trust the process' for marriage? Do you trust God's process for marriage?" I want to be a good wife. I want to be a godly wife. I want to be those things now, and I am not. That's because marriage is a process.

Marriage is a process of getting to know each other. Marriage is a process of learning one another's likes and dislikes. Marriage is a continual process of figuring out how to communicate in clear and kind ways. Marriage is navigating the ups and downs of life, loving one another all the while. Marriage is learning (and accepting) family backgrounds. Marriage is explaining and exploring values. Marriage is laying down pride and becoming selfless. None of these things happen overnight.

Marriage is a process, God's process, and ultimately one of sanctification. Does God need marriage to sanctify people? No. He can do it by his very Spirit. For me, though, in my season and in my lot in life, marriage is one of the ways that God is conforming me into his image. May I accept this process. May I be patient in it. May I trust it. Ultimately, may I trust the originator of this process, for only He can continue to perfect it in me. 

The Answer Really is Jesus!

There is a joke in the church that little kids answer every question with, "Jesus." But you know what? They're really not that far off. In some way, shape, or form, the answer to every question really is, Jesus.

The answer to sin? Jesus (John 3:16). The answer to death? Jesus (Rev 1:18). The answer to judging other people? Looking to Jesus instead (Goff, 2019). The answer to work life balance? Centering on Jesus (Yohn, 2022). I could go on and on. At the heart of everything the answer really is Jesus!

Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6). Jesus created all things, and in him all things hold together (Col 1). We are to fix our eyes on Christ (Col 3). The Bible says that we should have faith like little children (Matt 18:1-4). Looking to Jesus as the answer is one way to return to this.

References:

Goff, B. (2019). Live in grace, walk in love: A 365-day journey. Nelson Books.

Yohn, D. (2022, April 22). Debunking the 'work-life' balance myth. The Gospel Coalition. https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/work-life-balance-myth/

A Practically Perfect Day

A little belated, but we finally got to celebrate my birthday, well, to celebrate my birthday in the way I had envisioned. More than things, I want experiences, and I want those experiences to be with those I love. This past Saturday, this came to fruition with a day practically perfect in every way:

Walking with my mom (and running the day's miles home)

Yoga

Pancakes, cocoa and an apple (unpictured) for breakfast

Climbing at Gripstone with my love

A long, leisurely nap

Trying out a new outfit (complements of my Ohio best friend)

Dinner out (peppercorn gorgo burger at Prescott Brewing Company)

Belated Mother's Day photos

An evening walk

And just relaxing... 

--

Thank you, Lord, for a wonderful day!

Real Life Marriage: Attunement

I work a lot with parents and kids. The parallels between parent-child and relationships never cease to amaze me. Not that my husband is my child, or that I am his, but that the same principles apply. Case in point: attunement. Attunement helps us develop healthy relationships as babies. It is necessary for healthy marriages, too.

What is attunement? Attunement is noticing and responding to needs. This is what a mother does for her baby, until the baby can do it for himself or herself (Gobbel, 2020). This is the foundation for secure attachment, that is the baby feeling safe and secure, even when the mother comes and goes. Attunement benefits marriages, too.

While attunement is a good thing, part of learning attunement requires misattunement, that is missing signals that the other person sends. In marriage, this looks like miscommunication, missing needs, and/or failing to meet needs. As a perfectionist, I really hate this. I want to be a good wife, and missing things feels like failure. Missing things, though, allows for allows for separateness (Gobbel, 2020). That separateness promotes appreciation of one another's differences, and using our strengths to form a better whole. It also promotes learning. If I never see my husband have needs because I've tried to anticipate and pre-empt his needs, I miss opportunities to learn more about him. I risk making my happiness codependent on his (Bren, 2021). That isn't healthy for me, or for him.

Just like we need to learn attunement in our early relationships, we need to learn attunement in marriage. We need to learn to read each other's needs and respond to them. By necessity, this means failure sometimes. While that may not be present, it grows us, just as a mother's attunement grows her baby's social skills, empathy, and more. Parents and kids. Wives and husbands. God made them, and their relationships all. It's no wonder that a learning process that starts at birth continues into adulthood. I think God in His grace, made it that way.

References:

Bren, S. (2021, June 14). 02. Attachment theory and fostering secure attachment relationships. DrSarahBren. https://drsarahbren.com/02-attachment-theory-and-fostering-secure-attachment-relationships/

Gobbel, R. (2020, January 25). Becoming securely attached. RobynGobbel. https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/8402073935441541124/2874949773406719455

My Momma is Beautiful.

My Momma is Beautiful.

My momma is beautiful

Not because of the clothes she wears,

but because she is kind

and full of care.

My momma is beautiful

Not because of the products she uses

but because of her encouragement

and the uplifting words she chooses.

My momma is beautiful

Not because of the latest fashion

But because of her service

And all for others she has done.

My momma is beautiful

Not because of her jewelry

But because of who she is inside.

She has beauty you cannot see.

My momma is beautiful

ultimately because, in her love

she images her Father

who comes from above.

--

Happy Mother's Day, to my momma, and all the mommas and mother figures out there!

34.

My goal last year was to live. Seeing that I have made it another year, I guess I did that in a physical sense. In mental, emotional, and relational senses, though, I feel like I have just survived. Living, to me, means savoring and enjoying life in the moment, in the present. That has been few and far between.

As COVID restrictions have lifted, we did get to do a few more activities outside the house this past year:

We vacationed.

I ran two 10Ks, one away from home, and one in my hometown.

We went on a whirlwind weekend trip to Wisconsin.

My best friend and her husband came and hung out with us.

We visited Washington for Christmas.

I treasure these moments, even if I did not fully live in them. They have been bright spots, when on-between, most days, I struggled. 

I have my gratitude lists. I have my husband. I have Jesus. That are more than enough. Jesus himself is more than enough, because in and through Him, I have eternal life. I need to focus on that more. May that be my goal as I live out year 34!

Being Married to a Runner

Being married to a runner, you just might...

...Have no worries about early morning competition in the house, since your spouse is always up early to run (Brooks, n.d.)

...Find knotted shoes lying out, regularly awaiting your strong fingers to untie

...See a lot of running gear piled about the house, for all that cross training and stuff

...Hone your comforting skills, both for when your spouse is injured physically from running, and injured emotionally when he or she does not meet her goals

...Rise really early to go to races your spouse is running

...Get stuck carrying all the stuff while said spouse runs

...Have a lot of race swag lying around the house after the race

...Wear some of that swag yourself

...Have a spouse who tries to convince you to become a runner, if not all of the time, at least some of the time

...Hopefully find that your spouse is happier, because he or she runs

(As written by a runner, with thanks for her non-runner husband who puts up with all of her shenanigans)

Reference:

Brooks, A. (n.d.). Dating a runner 10 undeniable reasons it's amazing. Run to the Finish. https://www.runtothefinish.com/10-reasons-to-marry-a-runner/