Wednesday, July 31, 2024

Everything I Read in July



This month started off strong in the fiction department, with a series I really enjoyed. I squeezed in a few informative reads, and then jumped into what I thought would be a great series, but sadly, one that sorely left me down. The good news is that there are plenty of books in the world, and more to read when one author or series is not picture perfect for me!

49) One More Last Chance by Cathleen Armstrong—Last Chance takes on a different meaning in this sweet story. Sarah Cooley, a native of Last Chance, returns to teach second grade, but with a chip on her shoulder. New-to-town Chris Reed tries to keep Dip’n Dine open, but with opposition to almost everything he tries. Then his world upends when his sister leaves with him his seven-year old niece, Olivia. Sarah takes a liking to Olivia and Chris would like her to take a liking to him, but Sarah is still hanging onto her college flame, Brandon. They both have a lot to learn about life, truth, and true love, for family, and in relationships. Good thing the Last Chance series is not over yet, because I want more of this story and town!

50) At Home in Last Chance by Cathleen Armstrong—In the third installment of the Last Chance series, Kaitlyn Reed comes home to care for her daughter. Chris Reed and Sarah Cooley get engaged and married. Kaitlyn learns what it looks like to be a good mother. Stephen Braden starts to consider what it means to settle down and make commitments. There are so many story lines, and yet Armstrong weaves them together so beautifully! This is another great book, so don’t miss the chance to read it!

51) At Home in Last Chance by Cathleen Armstrong—This book introduces two new characters to the Last Chance lot: Andy Ryan, a washed up football player come home to coach his high school time, and Jessica MacLeod, a California-trained doctor come to practice rural medicine. The town welcomes their hometown hero, but ostracizes its new one. Andy and Jess work together, and against one another as they discover what it means to live almost polar opposite lives. Kaitlyn and Stephen reunite. Elizabeth Cooley keeps mothering (and grandmothering). There is so much depth to this story, and room for more, although from what I can tell, this is the last chance to read a novel in this series, as the author has not written since 2015. It is seriously too bad!

52) The Burnout Challenge: Managing People's Relationships With Their Jobs by Christina Maslach and Michael P. Leiter—Discussion about resolving burnout often revolves around helping people rest and become more resilient. But what if burnout is more of an environmental problem than a personal or personnel problem? This is the argument the authors of The Burnout Challenge make. They argue that burnout is more due to mismatch between person and job than anything else. “Fixing” people, therefore, will not solve the problem. Solving the problem, rather, will require continuous assessment and improvement on behalf of agencies and employers. The information presented in this book is not earth-shattering, but taken together, it presents a new paradigm for addressing burnout. Employers and employees both can benefit from taking on the challenge of seeing burnout from a new vantage point.

53) Don’t Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, and Bring More Joy to Your Life by Anne Bogel—I put this book on my reading list, but forgot about it until I saw Savannah Kelly reading in on Tiny BnB. I found the book to be a refreshing blend of lived experience along with helpful tips. Bogel suggests reasons why people, especially women, overthink, and follows up with practical strategies to combat the habit, and the decision fatigue it causes. Not everything I read was new, but what was new helped, and the rest of the tips were good reminders. Each chapter ended with a, “Next Steps” section that asked questions to allow readers to reflect on what they read, too. While not overtly Christian, Bogel does make a few comments that make me think she is a believer. Overall, this was a helpful book, with no negative content, and therefore one I do not need to think twice to recommend.

54) The Next Right Thing: A Simple, Soulful Practice for Making Life Decisions by Emily P. Freeman—Decisions are a big deal, especially if a person wants to do them right. For me, there’s even more pressure, because as a believer in Christ, I want to do them right before God, and as a perfectionist, I want to make the right decisions 100% of the time. Emily P. Freeman’s words in this book are a balm. She suggests that making the right decision is not so much about the decision as it is about seeking God in it. It is not so much about the outcome, but about living out who God has made the person to be. It’s about doing the next right thing with a life laid open for God to work. This is an excellent book, simple to read, but profound in nature. I highly recommend it!

55) Picture Perfect by Janice Thompson—When I started this book, I had the picture of myself finding the perfect light, airy summer read. While the story, about photographers Hannah McDermott and Drew Kincaid contained plenty of timeless truths, the cheesiness of the story drove me notes. It took me a full two weeks to get through the book, as I could only handle so many Irish sayings and iterations of people who would not change. I managed to finish the book, but only because it was due and I did not want to renew. This is sadly not the book, or probably the author, for me.

56) The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power by Katherine Morgan Schafler— In this book, therapist and self-professed perfectionist Katherine Morgan Schafler presents a revolutionary approach to perfectionism. Instead of eradicating it, she suggests embracing it. Perfectionism is a character trait, she asserts, which means to get rid of it is to lose some of one's personality. Instead of trying to squash perfectionism, Schafler suggests accepting it, even celebrating it, and making it an adaptive force for good, rather than a maladaptive force for ill. Schafler's differentiation between intense, classic, Parisian, and messy perfectionist types might be a bit black and white, but even she agrees that people need not fall neatly into one category. Instead, they can use the categories to learn to embrace their strengths and adapt to their struggles. Some of the book is philosophical, leaning a bit heavy into female empowerment. The author also regularly uses language of which I do not approve. With that being said, I still learned a lot from the research, observation, therapeutic experience, and personal anecdotes shared in this book. I think I can benefit from thinking more on some of the concepts shared by leaning into perfectionism as how part of who God made me, instead of an enemy within that I am seeking to squash.

57) How to Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told by Harrison Scott Key—This is not your typical marriage book, especially not your typical Christian marriage book. This is a real life book about what it looks like for a marriage to fall apart, for infidelity to truly threaten the marital bond, and for two people to fight their way back. The story contains some explicit and offensive language, a lot of humility on the author’s part, some searching of scripture, and what seems like a neatly tied up bow, but that’s just the halfway point. What happens next is the realist of real, and an expose on desire, pain, forgiveness, and the power of a local church that just steps in to help instead of judging. This book won’t be for everyone. It’s real and raw and some readers won’t appreciate the tragicomedy. The insanity of it all me for, though, was a balm. It inspired hope for the institution of marriage, both my own, and the ones I see around me. Read at your own risk, but if you do, prepare for love to worm its way deeper into your heart. There is no way to read this book and come away unchanged.

58) Goliath Must Fall: Winning the Battle Against Your Giants by Louie Giglio—This is a book of great truth! While I think the author may stretch the analogy of David and Goliath a bit too far, the truth that Jesus has already defeated the enemy is so powerful, because Jesus has ALL the power in the world. Covering issues like comfort, anger, and addiction, this book is a cry to turn to Jesus for freedom, but not a call to abandon human support or worldly counsel and medicine. Instead, Giglio calls readers to seek out God and His wisdom and power. Whether actively in a struggle with a “giant” or not, this book points to the Savior of all, and for that reason, it will benefit any who read.

Monday, July 29, 2024

The Simplified Life (July)


Whew! It's been a month. I don't know if it's the summer heat, or what, but the past few weeks have felt like a slog. Nonetheless, we keep pressing on.

I have felt particularly decision-fatigued this month, and have sought to routinize some of the decisions I make regularly. For example, since I now hold the "weekend plan" card for our household, I came up with a basic structure for the four weeks of the month: a craft, a social event, going out to eat, and hanging out at home. The specific weeks we do each activity vary, but now I do not need to reinvent the wheel for date night. I just choose from my "menu" of options.

Fair Play (2020) is not exactly simplifying life, but it is helping us communicate more clearly about household duties. It also helps us track them. That is simplifying in a way.

After reading the book Don't Overthink It by Anne Bogel (2020), I have thought a lot about "completing the cycle." I do not always do this, but I am trying to focus on one thing at a time. Sometimes that bites me in that I get hyperfocused on a task and get stuck in it, which has negative consequences. (For example, my body hurt terribly after I sat too long at my computer working in a project.) Focusing on one thing at a time does help me simplify the things in my brain. It also helps me feel less frazzled.

Single tasking supposedly increases enjoyment of activities, too. [I read about this in a Greater Good article (Suttie, 2024)]. I am not good at single tasking, especially at night, but maybe that is an area for future simplification and growth.

All in all, simplification, for me, has come to represent prioritization and deciding what is meaningful to me. That changes with the seasons. What it means next month might be different than this one. We shall see.

Reference:

Bogel, A. (2020). Don't overthink it: Make easier decisions, stop second-guessing, and bring more joy to your life. Baker Books.

Rodsky, E. (2020). The fair play deck: A couple's conversation deck for prioritizing what's important. Clarkson Potter.

Suttie, J. (2024, July 9). How being distracted by lead to overindulgence. Greater Good.  https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_being_distracted_may_lead_you_to_overindulge

Saturday, July 27, 2024

What I Used/What I Used Up (Week 30)


What I Used of My Meal Plan-


Farfalle with blue cheese and peas (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)
Jambalaya with quinoa (Made by my sweet husband from a new cookbook, Meal Prep in an Instant)
No-knead pan pizza (Budget Bytes)
Spaghetti Pie 
(Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)

Snacks:

Apples
Apple oatmeal Swiss cheese muffins (More Sweets Please)
Bananas
Cajun peanuts (Cajun Cooking Recipes)  
Cantaloupe
Cheese sticks
Fruit pouches
Oatmeal in various forms
Oatmeal pancakes
Peanuts

What I Used Up--

Freezer:

Four bags of green beans
Large bag of peas
Orange zest
Seven cups of shredded chicken
Zucchini

Fridge:

Package of andouille sausage
Blue cheese wedge
Broccoli
Fig filling
Big bag of mozzarella cheese
Peach puree
Red pepper
Zucchini

Pantry:


Farfalle pasta
Old lima beans
Spicy ranch mix
Three cans of diced tomatoes
Can of whole tomatoes

What went bad:

Nothing that I know of yet


What I Prepped for Next Week: 

Overnight oatmeal
Super simple granola 
Zucchini and pepper ciambatta (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)

Monday, July 22, 2024

Strong Does Not Mean Hard.


I have been pondering lately what it means to be strong, not just in a physical sense, but in a mental sense. Does strong mean able to push through it all? Or does strong mean feeling it all, sometimes pushing through despite the pain, and sometimes pulling back to mitigate it? I think I am going with the latter.

I think for a long time I thought that strong meant hard. Gaining strength meant hardening to the pain of workouts, the struggles of life, and sometimes, to the agony of just living. I don't think so anymore. Rather, I think that strong means being able to feel the pain and know what to do with it.

Emotional health is not just remaining steady and stable. It's about having a right-sized reaction to situation, or as Lisa D'Amour (2023) says, managing emotions effectively, in a way that helps, rather than harms. That is where real strength comes in.

Real strength is not shoving down the pain. Ignoring physical pain can lead to serious injury and being unable to at times, even physically move. Dismissing emotional pain disconnects the brain and the body. It neglects empathy and can fracture and shatter relationship. It disconnects the self. It hardens the self against receiving help from God or anyone.

I don't want to be strong and hard. I want to have strength that allows me to be soft. I want my strength to match my days (Deuteronomy 33:25). I want to be able to recognize where my strength ends and where God's for me begins. I want to have strength to know that I will make it through any trial God takes me to. Hardness is not going to get me anywhere but stuck right here, shriveled up, dried out, dried up, and with no place else to go. That's no place I want to be.

Reference:

Bowler, K. (Host). (2023, September 19). Lisa D'Amour: Understanding today's teenagers. (S11, E3) [Audio podcast episode]. In Everything Happens. https://katebowler.com/podcasts/understanding-todays-teenagers/

Saturday, July 20, 2024

What I Used/What I Used Up (Week 29)

What I Used of My Meal Plan-


Chicken curry oatmeal (Montana Gluten Free)
Horseradish mustard salad (My Recipe Magic
Penne alla vodka (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)
Spaghetti Pie 
(Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)

Snacks:

Apples
Bananas
Blueberry cheesecake protein balls (Dymatize)
Blueberry cheesecake protein smoothie (Fit Foodie Finds)

Blueberry pie balls (Paleo OMG)
Cajun peanuts (Cajun Cooking Recipes)  
Cheese sticks
Fruit pouches
Oatmeal in various forms
Oatmeal pancakes
Plums
Peanuts

What I Used Up--

Freezer:

Blueberry cheesecake protein smoothie (Fit Foodie Finds)
Three bags of green beans
Large bag of broccoli
Large bag of peas
Small bag peas

Fridge:

Jar of applesauce

Five pound bag of carrots
Carton of 18 eggs
Iceberg lettuce
Leftover frosting
Half gallon of milk
Red onion
Parmesan cheese
Old spicy ranch dressing (The Spiffy Cookie)

Pantry:

Two cans of crushed tomatoes
Figs

One can of tomato paste
Steel cut oats

What went bad:

Nothing that I know of

What I Prepped for Next Week: 

Carrot and romaine salads with shredded chicken (365 Days of Crockpot), salsa, and spicy ranch dressing (The Spiffy Cookie)
Cheesejacks (Moorlands Eater)
Fig filling
Instant Pot hard-boiled eggs (Omnivore's Cookbook)
Peach puree
Slow cooker black bean oat groat soup 
(Oatrageous Oatmeals)


What I Froze for Future Me:

Bananas


Chicken curry oatmeal (Montana Gluten Free)


Homemade pizza sauce (Budget Bytes)


Orange zest


Penne alla vodka (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)


Shredded chicken (365 Days of Crockpot)


Slow cooker black bean oat groat soup (Oatrageous Oatmeals)


Spiced coconut chicken and rice (The Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook)


Whipping cream


Chopped zucchini

Monday, July 15, 2024

Things I Love About Summer

There's the heat, and there's the season. Yes, summer is hot, but there are also so many things I love about it! In no particular order, here are a few:

  1. Long days
  2. Early mornings
  3. Sunrises
  4. The satisfaction of a good, sweaty workout
  5. Cookouts
  6. Corn on the cob
  7. Fresh peaches
  8. Fresh plums
  9. Fresh strawberries
  10. Ice cold drinks
  11. Satisfyingly (and hydrating!) cantaloupe
  12. Salty foods to replace electrolytes
  13. S'mores
  14. Watermelon
  15. Tank tops
  16. Tan lines
  17. The nostalgic smell of sunscreen
  18. The initially soothing warmth of the car after the frigidity of air conditioned buildings
  19. The Fourth of July
  20. Red, white, and blue
  21. Patriotism
  22. Fireworks
  23. Driving home from work in daylight
  24. Evening walks
  25. Sunsets
Jess Connolly (2024) says to seize your season. I'm seizing summer and squeezing out its joy for all its worth!

Reference:

Connolly, J. (2024, May 26). Seize your season (No. 41). [Audio podcast episode]. In The Jess Connolly podcast. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-41-seize-your-season/id1437912225?i=1000656850169

Saturday, July 13, 2024

What I Used/What I Used Up (Week 28)


What I Used of My Meal Plan-

Breakfasts:


Oatmeal in various forms
Super simple granola 

Lunches:

Carrot and romaine salads with shredded chicken (365 Days of Crockpot) and salsa
Horseradish mustard salad (My Recipe Magic
Indian oats upma (Oatrageous Oatmeals)
Pasta with broccoli rabe and garbanzos (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)

Unfried rice (Easy Vegetarian Slow Cooker

Dinners:


Chicken curry oatmeal (Montana Gluten Free)
Pasta with broccoli rabe and garbanzos (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)
Penne alla vodka (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)
Spiced coconut chicken and rice (The Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook)

Snacks:

Apples
Bananas
Blueberry cheesecake protein balls (Dymatize)
Oatmeal breakfast cookies (Eating Bird Food)
Cajun peanuts (Cajun Cooking Recipes)  
Chai spiced muffins (Feel Good Foodie)
Carrots
Cheese sticks
Fruit pouches
Granola bars
Nectarines
Oatmeal in various forms
Oatmeal pancakes
Peaches
Peanuts

S'mores cookies (Handle the Heat
White chocolate strawberry cupcakes (Sally's Baking Addiction

What I Used Up--

Freezer:

Celery
Chicken nuggets
Freeze dried blueberries
Ginger
Package of green beans
Green pepper
Instant Pot salsa chicken (Simply Happy Foodie)
Shredded chicken (365 Days of Crockpot)

Fridge:

Carton of 18 eggs
Horseradish
Jar of mayonnaise
Parsley
Jar of peanut butter
Romaine lettuce
Strawberries

Pantry:

Bag of chocolate chips
Cake flour
Can of coconut milk
Box of elbow macaroni
Jasmine rice
Old oats
Old bottle of olive oil
Box of penne pasta
One large can of petite diced tomatoes
Two cans of diced tomatoes

What went bad:

Cilantro I put on the top of my lunches
Lemon I left in the fridge (but I can put it down the garbage disposal for cleaning, so it is not completely lost!)
Some of the strawberries (unfortunately, a lot of them were bad from the store)

What I Prepped for Next Week: 

Blueberry pie balls (Paleo OMG)

Indian spiced tomato soup (Oatrageous Oatmeals)
Instant Pot hard-boiled eggs (Omnivore's Cookbook)
Super simple granola 


What I Froze for Future Me:

Shredded chicken (365 Days of Crockpot)

Sliced strawberries

Wednesday, July 10, 2024

Real Life Marriage: I'm Abdicating.


It is no secret that I have struggled with my role as as working wife for quite some time. That struggle is not over. As my husband continues to explore his career options, I continue to wrestle with my role, at least for now, as the primary financial provider for our home. I continue to struggle with overwhelm, and let's be honest, bitterness and resentment at all
I have to do. I just cannot continue to keep up with commuting to a full time job that quite honestly, taxes me quite a lot, and running the house like a full time housewife. Something has got to give.

I used to believe that a good godly wife did all the household things as part of her support of her husband. Life is forcing me to reconsider. What does it really mean to support my husband and be his helpmate? Is it me doing it all (at least in terms of house stuff)? Or is it me letting some of those things go so that I can be more emotionally and mentally present? Probably a bit of both.

In an attempt to better evaluate our household tasks and roles, we bought the Fair Play (2020) cards many women rave about. I read the Fair Play book, and while I thought it contained some valuable content, also knew, and know, that marriage is not all about fairness and equality. It is also about sacrifice and humility. The author does recognize this, at least to some extent, however, because in the card deck instructions, she writes that dealing the cards is not a 50-50 split, but about what feels fair. That still leaves a bit to be desired in terms of my definition of biblical marriage, though.

Before we attempted to "re-deal" our cards, I dealt them according to how I see our current tasks. I was surprised to find that my husband actually had 14 cards. That was over half of the 23 I held, and in my pride, I thought I was the one doing most of the tasks, and thereby holding the household together! We agreed that we shared about 12 of the cards, which in Rodsky's system, is not ideal, but is the way it has worked out for us. In looking at the piles, know what I realized? That although I really only hold about half of the cards, I attempt to manage and monitor them all. It is exhausting.

We determined our "daily grind" (regular routine) cards a few weekends ago and I agreed to try giving some of my cards to my husband. I am also working with him to find ways that he can fully conceive, plan, and execute his tasks so that I can let go of monitoring them. Basically, I agreed to abdicate my role as be-all, do-all in our home. Who was I kidding when I thought I could play that role? Obviously, I have been failing. Although we have not found our groove yet, at least we are talking more about household tasks and what it means to live in godly partnership in our marriage. 

Did the Fair Play cards fix everything? No. Only God can perfectly heal, redeem, and restore. We certainly need His wisdom in this process (and always!) Abdicating my attempts to be a super power (God) in our household is necessary to receive that wisdom, though. May God grant me humility to continue doing so.

References: 

Rodsky, E. (2020). The fair play deck: A couple's conversation deck for prioritizing what's important. Clarkson Potter.

Rodsky, E. (2021). Fair play: A game-changing solution for when you have too much to do (and more life to live). Penguin Publishing Group.

Saturday, July 6, 2024

What I Used/What I Used Up (Week 27)

What I Used of My Meal Plan-

Fried chicken po' boy with homemade remoulade (Restless Chipotle) on easy French bread (More-with-Less Cookbook)
Honey lime skillet chicken bites (Sweet and Savory Steph) with corn on the cob and potatoes
Pasta with broccoli rabe and garbanzos (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)
Pasta with tuna puttanesca (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)

Snacks:

Apples
Applesauce oat muffins (Baked in AZ)
Bananas
Oatmeal breakfast cookies (Eating Bird Food)
Cajun peanuts (Cajun Cooking Recipes)  
Chai spiced muffins (Feel Good Foodie)
Cantaloupe
Carrots
Cheese sticks
Nectarines
Oatmeal in various forms
Oatmeal pancakes
Peanuts
Raisins

What I Used Up--

Freezer:

Shredded chicken (365 Days of Crockpot)

Fridge:

Two pound bag of frozen broccoli
Two pound bag of baby carrots
Five pound bag of carrots
Cantaloupe
Cilantro
Carton of 18 eggs
Ginger (I froze the rest for future use)
Greek yogurt
Green pepper (I froze the rest for future use)
Half gallon of milk
Head of romaine lettuce
Old bag of onions
Red bell pepper
Jar of salsa

Four tomatoes
Four zucchini

Pantry:


Dried apricots

Dried cherries
Brown rice
Dates
Box of raisins
Reese's puffs cereal
Rice crisp cereal
Box of ziti pasta

What went bad:

Some of the cilantro

What I Prepped for Next Week: 

Indian oats upma (Oatrageous Oatmeals)
Instant Pot hard-boiled eggs (Omnivore's Cookbook)
No-bake cardamom cherry granola bars (Oatrageous Oatmeals)
Overnight oatmeals
Summery vegetable soup (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)


What I Froze for Future Me:

Chopped green pepper


Chopped ginger


Shredded chicken (365 Days of Crockpot)


Summery vegetable soup (Good Housekeeping Family Italian Cookbook)


Unfried rice (Easy Vegetarian Slow Cooker)  

Thursday, July 4, 2024

Eight.


We really considered moving this year. My husband had an out of state job in mind, and he made it all the way to the final stage of interviews, only in the end, to be thanked and turned away. I had been grieving Arizona for some time, relishing what I thought might be my “lasts,” for some time, if not forever. But then the turn down came. We decided to stay.

Over the last few months, we have been praying about and contemplating what God has next for us, specifically in terms of my husband’s career. While we don’t have answers there yet, it does appear that Arizona is where we will be, at least for the next unknown period of time. In small ways, I have started to celebrate.

I have started to celebrate the idea that I can return to old places to see how they grow. I have started to celebrate the idea that we might be able to make traditions here in this home. I have started to look for and get excited about new opportunities to engrave and explore. There really is so much to do here!

On our vacation this summer, I relished the beauty of the sun rising and setting over the ocean. I took in the sights and sounds of big city Boston. I enjoyed some cooler summer temperatures. Don’t get me wrong, the Arizona heat was a bit of a shock when we arrived back to the airport at 1:30 am in the morning, but it also felt like a warm hug. It felt like home.

There is truly no place like Arizona in terms of sunrises and sunsets. (Even the people on our sunset cruise agreed when we showed them pictures.) Arizona has not the history of cities back east, but it holds so much of my family’s history (both my current family, and my family of origin). As the sun sets on another year here, and rises to start the next leg of our Arizona journey tomorrow, we dedicate it to the Lord and say with Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, “There’s no place like home!”