The Weaker Vessel

The weaker vessel. That's what the Bible says the wife is (1 Pet 3:7). I don't like it. I've never liked it. I've always touted the strong female ideal. That got smashed when I got married. Compared to my husband, I am weaker at almost everything. My IQ and EQ are lower. He has more endurance when we hike. He can unscrew jar lids that I can't. He can solve a million problems, dozens of which I didn't even know I had. He can do chores faster and more efficiently. He's a more technical cook. He knows the Bible better. I could go on and on. I am blessed that my husband is so strong, but lots of times, it makes me feel unworthy, of lesser value. But if I look at it from the flip side, all that stuff my husband is better at and does for me shows what a gift he is. The fact that my husband is so much stronger than me and still cares for me should make me feel good. But it often doesn't. I struggle to accept my role as the weaker vessel. I am prideful. I don’t want to be weak. I don’t want to cause my husband to need to sacrifice. I feel like my weakness is deficiency on my part, something I need to atone for. But God already did that. And God created marriage.

So if I believe that God created marriage (and I believe He did), and if God created me (and I believe He did), then maybe my weakness is part of the plan. My husband pointed out some time ago that my denial of my weakness keeps him from serving me, and that's what he's called to do. Ouch. That really hurts my pride. I want to be the cause of joy and mirth and glee, not pining and refining. But if I want my husband to be sanctified (and I do) and I believe marriage is part of that process (and I do), I’d better stop kicking against the goads and surrender. That means surrendering to my weakness. 

I am weak. I don't like it. But I need to let my pride go and let God use my weakness as He sees fit to do. That means accepting my role as the weaker vessel. This is part of my sanctification. This is part of my husband's sanctification. To God be the glory.

Weak

I have a dear friend and former roommate who liked to call me Wonder Woman. She even bought me a Wonder Woman cup. But man, lately I've felt anything but.

I've been sick a lot, or a lot more than I normally am. First came a cold, and that turned into a sinus infection, and then I got another cold. I hated it. I could barely keep my head above water. I wasn't thinking about other people's needs. I was working, coming home, and crashing. I wasn't optimistic or hopeful. I was anxious and worried and sick.

But I didn't want people to know.

So I wasn't texting my friends. I wasn't going to social events. I was hermiting. Hard core.

Then the Spirit convicted me that I was once again subscribing to a perfectionistic mindset. In my hermiting and withdrawal, I was acting pridefully. I was trying to deny the fact that I felt weak and was weak. I was trying to deny my struggle.

I got another little cold recently, and back came the anxiety and worry. But this time when friends asked me how to pray for me, I admitted I felt sick and asked prayer my health. I admitted my struggle and gave just a little more over to God. It was freeing.

Wonder Woman is still my favorite superhero. In a perfect world, I would be brave and fit and strong enough to save everyone. But we don't live in a perfect world. I'm human, and the only real superhero is God. In sickness and in health, I get my strength from Him!

I Needed Flowers.

I went to Trader Joe's and bought myself some flowers. I felt a little ridiculous doing it, not because there's anything wrong with buying flowers, but because I felt like I needed them. It had been a long week. I had a cold, and I felt like my life was going down the tubes even though it wasn't. The only thing I could think that would help at the moment was flowers. So I went and bought them.

I work in mental health. I think I should have it together, but I don't. And even though I tell everyone else to take care of themselves, I don't do a very good job of it for myself. But I did it that day, and it helped, that day and for the next several days.

So here's to self-care, friends, to slowing down, and to listening to intuition. Because sometimes you really do need the flowers.