Acceptable Over Optimal

As a perfectionist, I am all about optimizing. I really do want the best all of the time, or at least most of the time. I continue to realize, though, that this is not possible, not unless I really drop a lot of things, and even then, I cannot achieve perfection.

I have started to think, therefore, about what is acceptable, tolerable even. What is good enough? Can I learn to be satisfied with just okay? And if not, what needs to go so I can improve? For example, do I want dinner on the dot at the time I want? Or do I want the kitchen tidied and cleaned so that I can focus on making dinner and enjoying eating it? Do I want all homemade food and lots of time in the kitchen? Or do I want okay nutrition which includes some processed foods and time to do things other than cook? If optimal sleep is not available, what is acceptable? What will get me through?

I am not for giving everything the short end of the stick. There is some wisdom in the phrase my mom told me in college: "You have to cheat something." I'm not suggesting that I want to be dishonest. I'm just continuing to realize that there are only so many resources to go around (time, money, etc.). If I have many things I want to do, I have to lower the resources needed for each one. If I have a few things I want to invest in more, I have to let other things go. It's a balancing game, or maybe not even a balancing game. It's a choices game.

I definitely don't have all this figured out. I'm just trying to figure out what I can accept, what I can tolerate without it causing me so much distress. Optimal ain't happening much over here, so I've got to figure out how to accept and appreciate what is!

Weak

I have a dear friend and former roommate who liked to call me Wonder Woman. She even bought me a Wonder Woman cup. But man, lately I've felt anything but.

I've been sick a lot, or a lot more than I normally am. First came a cold, and that turned into a sinus infection, and then I got another cold. I hated it. I could barely keep my head above water. I wasn't thinking about other people's needs. I was working, coming home, and crashing. I wasn't optimistic or hopeful. I was anxious and worried and sick.

But I didn't want people to know.

So I wasn't texting my friends. I wasn't going to social events. I was hermiting. Hard core.

Then the Spirit convicted me that I was once again subscribing to a perfectionistic mindset. In my hermiting and withdrawal, I was acting pridefully. I was trying to deny the fact that I felt weak and was weak. I was trying to deny my struggle.

I got another little cold recently, and back came the anxiety and worry. But this time when friends asked me how to pray for me, I admitted I felt sick and asked prayer my health. I admitted my struggle and gave just a little more over to God. It was freeing.

Wonder Woman is still my favorite superhero. In a perfect world, I would be brave and fit and strong enough to save everyone. But we don't live in a perfect world. I'm human, and the only real superhero is God. In sickness and in health, I get my strength from Him!

Godliness or Control

A lot of people seem to think that I'm perfect. Nope! Maybe I just hide my sin a little better than some because it's in my heart more often than it's apparent in my actions. And that isn't something to brag about.

I was convicted of my sinful nature again this past weekend when the Holy Spirit prompted me to do something I didn't want to do. I had drawn a line in the sand and was like, "Nope!" I wrestled with the issue for awhile and then the Spirit asked, "Do you want to be godly, or do you want to be in control?"

Convicted. I did the thing and decided not to be passive aggressive and trying to get my own way. This wasn't a victory for me, but it was a victory for the Spirit. Praise Him! May He continually have more victory in my life.

Any Spirit victories in your lives recently, friends? Please feel free to share in the comments section below.