"All people have equal value. Some have more priority." I talked about that with at least two people yesterday. And today, I had to practice what I preached. I set some boundaries at work, and honestly, I felt bad for saying, "No" to coworkers and families. But I also knew I needed to say, "No" to preserve energy for the people that are the most important. And guess what? When I came home, my parents needed me to help them run some errands and take care of some business things for them.
Were my coworkers or the families I said, "No" to today any less valuable than my family? No. All people have equal value because God created them in His image. But some people do have more priority, especially in this season of my life.
Brene Brown in her book, Daring Greatly, talks about an exercise to help determine whose opinions matter. She suggests taking a one-inch by one-inch square of paper and writing down names of people who you love and who love you. They are who matter, she says. Right now, my square of important people might be even smaller than one-inch by one-inch. But you know what? That's okay. As long as I'm clear about the people who are my priorities, and I make them my priorities.
Boundaries suck sometimes, but they keep the good stuff in, and the less than good stuff out. The people on the other side of my boundary fence right now are as equally valuable as the people on my side. But the people on my side have priority. And if I keep throwing myself over the fence to save the people on the other side, I'll lose all energy for the ones closest to me.
So here's to acknowledging the worth of all people, but asking the Holy Spirit for help to prioritize my people. It's a battle, but one worth fighting.
I can be a bit of a firecracker sometimes. I'm an oldest child. I have a Type A personality. I'm stubborn and hard-headed. And I have a lot of strong preferences.
Sometimes I worry that my personality is too much. I think I should be more soft and demure. More docile or tame and less opinionated. But then I realize that I really can't be. I have a fiesty nature. That's just who I am, and to change that would be to change the person God made me to be.
There is certainly a time and place for being polite and respectful, for withholding. I never want to purposefully offend people with my personality. And I don't want to camp on my opinions and preferences to the point that I'm ridiculously inflexible. I don't want to be rude or prideful or selfish. But I don't want to be fake, either.
More and more, God is revealing to me who I am and what I am about. That allows me to be more assertive in expressing my preferences, more firm with my boundaries, and more sure with my "Yes" or "No." And in a lot of ways, that is freeing.
So if I've offended you in something I've done, please tell me and let's talk about it. Maybe I need to change, or learn to be more soft in my authenticity. But if my personality offends you because it's too much, maybe we need to have a surface level, respectfully tolerant relationship and let the rest go.
And on the flip side, if I invest in you, know I'm trying, by God's grace, to living an authentic life. I'm quirky and weird and full of it sometimes, but that's me. What you see is what you get, and if I share with you, it's honest, and intentionally real. I mean what I say, and I say what I mean. Too much? Maybe. But this is the too much God has given me. And He's in control.
