"Marriage is ministry." I first heard this phrase when listening to the commentary for my daily Bible reading. The more I thought about it, the more I found it true. Marriage is supposed to be our primary commitment in life, second only to our commitment to Christ. And if marriage is supposed to image Christ and the church (which I believe it is), then marriage should include service, for Christ gave all.
So what does mutual ministry look like in marriage? It's not black and white. And most of the time, it's not as glamorous as people make it out to be. Sometimes it's cooking dinner, eating alone, and keeping the food warm for my husband when arrives home well afterward. Sometimes it's the ministry of presence sitting together on the couch as we both work on our laptop computers. Sometimes it's him holding me when I cry. Sometimes it's doing that extra chore because I know it will bless him. And sometimes it's allowing him to do something for me because doing so will bless him. Ministry in marriage varies every day, day by day.
Marriage is about growth and sanctification. Therefore, ministry in marriage is definitely not cut and dry. That's why we need Christ as our Savior and model. Because we can only truly serve each other in His strength. And we need his ministry of salvation and redemption before we can truly minister to others. But when we minister to others, especially our spouses, it grows us in ways we couldn't imagine, closer to God and closer to each other. In that way, marriage is a ministry of God to us!
We had a compelling sermon this past week at church. I came away with the question, "Who is my neighbor?" It's a question that's been rattling around in my head for quite some time. I read Bob Goff's book, Everybody Always this summer. And I recently finished Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. Neither book was entirely about neighbors, but they both referenced love and loving the people around us.
My job is to serve people, and I love it and am thankful for it. It is a privilege to walk with and encourage people in their journeys of life, particularly in the hard times. But I've been realizing that my service during the day can come at a cost to my family and friends during the rest of my life. The work I do always comes at a cost to those around me, because it is emotionally taxing and draining. But sometimes work comes at too much of a cost, where I'm putting work before family and friends.
The question, "Who is my neighbor?" for me, therefore, has become less about the general "who" and more about the specific "who." Shauna Niequist writes about the "home team," and encourages readers to really hone in on who that is. Bob Goff writes times and times again about not trying to be Jesus. Jesus is the Savior and Healer and Redeemer, and I'm not it! I'm realizing that part of my issue with work is that I'm trying to do too much, playing medic for the away team while my home team suffers. I need to do the work I'm called to do, but I also need to make time and space for the direct people in my life, the people who are behind and before me in the work I do. Because if I lose my home team, I've got nothing.
So who is my neighbor? Every human being that God has created is my neighbor! But there are some specific neighbors, my family and my close friends, that God calls me to serve in specific ways, and I need to find time and space to do it. By God's grace, may I never step over the bleeding neighbor at my doorstep to be a "savior" to the neighbor far away.
