Well, I'm junking up the house again. (The decluttering book warned me of this trap.) I've bought two new clothing items (without swapping out old ones), as well as bought gadgets to make my life easier (silicone muffin liners). I could argue that my dietitian told me to buy clothes in bigger sizes. I could argue that I "need" new clothes to feel better, but I really don't. I just bought clothes because I wanted to feel better (and they did-kind of). I could argue that new kitchen gadgets brought me joy and made cooking a little easier, and they did, but could I tolerate without them? Yes. So should I have bought them? I don't know. I just did. I told myself to spend less money this month. Did I? No. But I also got some joy from buying things, and made some memories. Did I live more of life? Overall, I would say, yes. And that was what I wanted from this year anyway.
In other updates on my goals--
January-LESS scrolling: I don't know if I am or not. Some days, I am on social media less, other days more. I have started using at least Instagram more for information (eg for information on topics like stress fracture recovery). I notice when I am not getting anything out of scrolling, and sometimes I keep scrolling. Other times, I move on. I am playing more word games again. It is a good "out" for my brain, and maybe a little more beneficial than doom scrolling?
February-LESS picking: I do not really know here, either. Maybe I just have not been paying attention as much? I do know that I am going through a season of just feeling uncomfortable in my body overall.
March-LESS hunger (judgment): I want to keep healing from my stress fracture, and I want to gain muscle. I hate waking up in the middle of the night hungry. So I have been eating a lot, and and continuing to gain weight. I hope eventually things even out, but I don't know when that will happen, and if I am truly hungry, I guess my body needs all this food? I hope I continue to gain awareness in this area.
April-LESS goals: Yeah, well. I probably did not do too well here. In working on my July goal, I added quite a lot of activities. The physical therapy exercises have piled up. I need to reduce my list of daily things to do next month.
May-LESS no: I caught myself saying, "No," a lot, but thankfully God gave me plenty of chances to rest and say, "Yes." I am thankful for that. I want to live a full life, and that means saying more, "Yes" (though I am learning to do so with boundaries). Yesses this month included attending several very last minute social gatherings, trying several different foods my husband offered me, and going on a surprise location trip that my husband planned--good things, all.
June-LESS lying to myself: This is a bit of a mixed bag. I need to have realistic expectations for myself, and as my mom pointed out, I need to be willing to change and learn and grow as the Holy Spirit prompts. I have realized that most things in life require sacrifice. If I do something for myself, I say, "No" to doing something for others. If I prioritize one thing, I have less time for others. (For example, when I choose to write at night after work, I generally end up going to bed later and getting less sleep.) I am realizing that sometimes, I need to compromise on my priorities, doing a little bit of what I said I would do, and letting a little bit go. That is probably better than the all or nothing trap in which I find myself too often.
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Overall, it has been a better month. Maybe I am not quite living by my "LESS" word, but less is not my end goal in life. Loving God, loving others, and loving myself are my goals. Whatever paths lead me to those goals are my path, less or not.
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