LESS Fear

Whew. It has been a long last few months. My injury accelerated the downward spiral, but let's be honest, the downward slide started long before that. Thankfully, here at the end of this month, it seems like things have started to turn a corner.

While I don't remember exactly how I got to my word for this month, I do know that I needed it. I have been living in so much fear: fear of pain, fear of re-injury, fear of my body changing during my healing, fear of never being able to run again, fear of never feeling happy, fear of the future, fear of the next shoe dropping, etc. It was not doing me any good. 

The Bible has a lot to say about fear. Specifically, it says not to fear men, or people, or things, but to fear God. During this month, I chose to meditate five minutes each day on one verse about fear. I am sure that I only scratched the surface of what the Bible has to teach about fear, but here are a few things I learned:

• I don't need to fear. If God is for me, who can be against me? (Isaiah 41:10; Romans 8:31)
• God is the only one I should fear, because he has power over life, sin, and death (Deuteronomy 10:12; Psalm 112:1, 7; Ecclesiastes 3:14; Isaiah 35:4; 1 Corinthians 15:55-56; Hebrews 2:14-15)
• My fear of God should bring Him praise (Proverbs 31:30).
• God redeems. Therefore I should not fear the past. While I may have consequences for sins and misdeeds, God is with me. He is my strength (Isaiah 55:4; Phil 4:13). 
• My fear of God should cause me to obey Him and walk in His ways (Deuteronomy 6:2, 13, 24; Deuteronomy 8:6, Deuteronomy 10:20; Deuteronomy 13:4; Lamentations 3:57)
• I am not a slave to fear or sin. I am a daughter of God! (Romans 8:15)
• Nothing separates me from God’s love. Separation from God would be something to fear! Why fear tomorrow when I know that because of saving faith in Jesus, I’ll be with Him forever? (Romans 8:38)

While it was probably not something I needed to do, I also made a "Fear Not!" board on Pinterest to collect quotes. I journaled one a day. Initially, I thought I would write creatively and make this a calligraphy project. More days than not, I ended up squeezing in my journaling at the end of the evening, copying what I saw in the Pinterest pin more than anything else. While not as helpful as the Bible verse meditation, this was a fun quest and did help my mindset.

After a very rough week and a tough day on Thursday, July 17th, with the approval of my PT and a commitment to face fear, I ran again for the first time. It was scary, but I didn't want to live in fear of what would happen. Thankfully, I ran with very little to no pain. Sure, I only ran 30 seconds for four intervals, but it was something! I still have a long ways to go in my recovery, but Lord willing, with God's help, I will keep going, looking forward to seeing what God will do, living more and more in fear of him alone.