An Argument for Attending Church in Person

Another one of my centering practices? Attending church. In person. And this comes from someone who has had a complicated relationship with church. I am convicted that I need to attend, though, so I do. After the break of in-person fellowship due to the outbreak of COVID-19, I am more convicted than ever about church, and that I need to attend...in person. Attending church online is something, and we still do it from time to time (like when we are sick, or out of town), but there really is no substitute for in-person attendance.

Going to church in-person requires a lot. It requires getting up early on a weekend. It requires getting dressed. It limits time for a leisurely breakfast. We have to spend time commuting. It takes gas. All of these force us to set aside church as a priority, which is what it should be.

The inconveniences of attending church in person have some benefits. The physical preparations also require mind preparation. The commute time grants minutes of stillness to prepare to hear God's word. Time in the car on the way home grants time for discussion.

The church as a place limits distractions. Sure, attending church from home is convenient, but there are chores, dishes, laundry, and other to-dos right in my face. There are also other "shiny" things that catch my attention, like loud noises outside. I am also much more tempted to look at my phone and otherwise do distracting things that seem less permissible in the actual church building. The church building, in that way, therefore provides accountability. 

The people of the church also provide accountability. The people we sit with know us and ask about where were when we are absent. Online churches do not have a great way of keeping the hundreds (often thousands, or more) of people who watch accountable. The people we sit with ask about when we miss church not out of legalism, but because they care. Relationships are an important part of the church that online services struggle to offer.

Participation is a crucial aspect of church, especially when it comes to church rituals and ceremonies. Sure, you can sing at home, and baptize at home, and commune at home, but there is something different about doing it in person (Gunderson, 2020). Similarly, there is the doing of life with church members. I have sometimes learned more from conversations with other people than I have from the sermon itself (for example, the man we sit with talking about progressive sanctification as living in a "mixed" condition between our sinful lives here on earth and our glorified lives in heaven). At our church, there are certain "body life" issues (eg church discipline and church support for personal matters) that the church only addresses in person. This is important for the privacy of the individuals, but if we want to help, we have to be there to hear about the need. As Thom Rainer (2020) points out, in-person church attendance is also a way to encourage pastors, and we want that, if we want to keep hearing the Word from them!

There are practical matters, too. As good as technology is, live streams can get interrupted. Internet service can go down. Important parts of a service can get missed. Is some church better than no church? Certainly, but a full church experiences happens best in person.

Going to church is a habit for me. It's something that requires self-discipline, rather than something that comes easy. I could go to church online. (I do go to church online sometimes.) For me, though, and for my husband and I as a couple, being there, were our feet on the floor and our bodies in seats is important. For that reason, we keep doing it. We are committed to keep doing it for as long as we are able, or until Jesus Christ returns.

References:

Gunderson, D. (2020, June 13). 10 reasons to come back to church after COVID-19. Crossway. https://www.crossway.org/articles/10-reasons-to-come-back-to-church-after-covid-19/

Rainer, T.S. (2020, June 1). Five reasons you need to get back in the habit of church attendance. Church Answers. https://churchanswers.com/blog/five-reasons-you-need-to-get-back-in-the-habit-of-church-attendance/

Resolutions for This Time

I wrote these resolutions back in 2020, during my first bout with the COVID-19 virus. I based them on the John Piper book (2011), Don't Waste Your Cancer, and Jonathan Edwards' 65 resolutions. I have kept them posted on my bulletin board to remind myself to keep perspective when things do not go my way, particularly during illness. As my household, and many others, I gather, have faced illness again this Christmas, it seems appropriate to share these resolutions here:

Resolutions For This Time

1. Recognize my need (for The Savior).

2. Repent of known sins. (Resolve to avoid additional sins.)

3. Read the Bible daily. (Study some.)

4. Fulfill responsibilities (marriage, work, house, home, etc.)

5. Slow down/spend time (Reduce injury; build relationship).

6. Worship instead of worry. (Give thanks.)

7. Eat good food. (In general, just eat).

8. Keep to sleep. (Go to bed on time.)

9. Grieve (recognizing that any losses are temporal and not eternal).

10. Have fun (yoga, games, movies etc.).

If you are healthy, may you stay well.

If you are ill, may you rest.

May you heal.

May you make the most of this time,

because sick or not,

it is time we won't get back.

References:

Edwards, J. (2006). The resolutions of Jonathan Edwards. Desiring God. https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-resolutions-of-jonathan-edwards

Piper, J. (2011). Don't waste your cancer. Crossway.

All the Things With Beans

Remember when I bought that 50 pound bag of black beans? If you follow me on Instagram, you probably saw the picture I posted with what looked like a sack of dog food. Well, we finally finished it off. (To be transparent, we slowed our consumption of black beans considerably as other foods became available, especially as I tired of eating black beans in my lunch salads every day). But we sure made a ton of things with that 50 pound bag of beans. I tried to record all the recipes we completed, but probably missed a few, so without further adieu, the list we have:

Entrees and mains:

Barbecue black bean pizza (Budget Bytes)

BBQ bean sliders (Budget Bytes)

*BBQ black bean tacos (She Likes Food)

*Beef and black bean tacos (Budget Bytes)

Black bean pasta bowl (Ready Set Eat)

*Brown Rice Burrito Bowls With Spicy Black Beans and Onions (Parade)

Dr. McDougall's black bean sloppy joes (Brand New Vegan)

*5-Ingredient vegetarian black bean and spinach enchiladas (Work Week Lunch)

Guinness chicken tacos (The Kitchen Paper)

Instant Pot black bean burrito bowls (Running with Spoons)

*Instant Pot black beans and rice (Cozy Peach Kitchen)

*Instant Pot black bean tacos with avocado crema (With Two Spoons)

Instant Pot cheesy enchilada rice (365 Days of Slow Cooking)

Instant Pot Mexican black beans and rice (365 Days of Slow Cooking)

Instant Pot Mexican quinoa (Cook with Manali, Project Meal Plan)

Loaded mashed potato bowls (Budget Bytes)

Mexican beef skillet (Fit Foodie Finds)

*One pot vegetarian chili mac (Budget Bytes)

Poor man's burrito bowls (Budget Bytes)

Pumpkin quesadillas with black beans and green chiles (She Likes Food)

Roasted sweet potato, black bean and lime rice bowls (This Wife Cooks)

Sheet pan sweet potato nachos (Bucket List Tummy)

Southwestern Black bean pasta salad (She Wears Many Hats)

Southwestern pot pie (Kitchen Stewardship)

Spicy bean and rice burritos (Key Ingredient)

Sweet potato and black bean enchiladas (Bowl of Delicious)

Sweet potato and black bean tacos (with honey and lime) (Cooking Classy)

Sweet potato black bean quesadillas (Well Plated by Erin)

Taco pasta salad (Brown Vegan)

*Taco stuffed sweet potatoes (Running with Spoons)

Vegan bean burgers (Detoxinista)

Vegan tacos with quinoa taco meat (My Crazy Good Life)

Side dishes:

"Baked" black beans (Ready Set Eat)

*Cowboy caviar (Budget Bytes)

Snacks and desserts:

Black bean brownie batter dip (Shaped by Charlotte)

*Flourless chocolate blender muffins (Chocolate Covered Katie)

(See my riff on the recipe here.)

Soups:

*Instant Pot black bean soup (The Food Network Kitchen)

Pressure-cooker black bean soup (Taste of Home)

Smoky chicken and butternut squash chili (Parade)

Spicy black bean soup with cilantro crema (Food and Wine)

Vegan black bean soup (Vegan Richa)

Uses for just plain beans:

-As filler in recipes (to stretch meat)

-As pizza topping

-In chicken and rice bowls
-In salads

-In dinner wraps (with fresh pico de gallo and sour cream)

-To give away (Yes, we did some of this, too!)

-As decoration (My husband has a cup of beans to hold all of his pencils and pens at his desk.)

*I noted recipes that we repeated, or were worth re-peating with an asterisk. We could probably make a lot more recipes with black beans, but after 50 pounds, we might take a break, at least a little one.

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Any recipes you would like to try from this list? Do you have any favorite black bean dishes? Please feel free to share in the comments section.

The Strong Woman

The United States of America has its first female vice president. Women continue to shatter "the glass ceiling" in the stock market, sports arena, and beyond. At the same time, a record number of women are leaving the workforce to stay home, at least in part due to the COVID-19 pandemic. If "the future is female," it seems we have two seemingly opposing forces at work: one working to promote female gender equality and the second pushing women "ten years back." But are these forces truly opposing? Does the furtherance of female equality really mean that all women need to break societal stereotypes and do great work in the marketplace? Or are there alternative narratives where women stay at home and have just as much inherent worth and value? I am here to suggest that there might be more than one way to be a strong woman.

I have seen many strong women in my life: my nana, my mother, female missionaries, etc. My nana had two bachelor's degrees, one in zoology, and one in Bible. My mother was a sharp-witted nurse who practiced impeccable care for tiny infants in the NICU. My nana blazed frontiers as a missionary. My mom provided healthcare for natives in outlying areas of a foreign country. I have known many females who lived most of their lives among indigenous people to provide medical care and bring the gospel to those who desperately needed it. I have been exposed to genius professors, women who worked while their husbands did the stay-at-home dad thing, female engineers, female marketeers, etc. Many of these women were married. Some were not. Some spent their entire lives in the marketplace. Some made the abrupt, and sometimes final decision to stay home. Some never went to work at all. The strength of these women existed not in their profession or position, but in how they lived.

I sense more and more in the cultural narrative these days an ultimatum for women to work AND care for their families. That this is what it means to be a strong women. Some women are "successful" at both endeavors. (I put "success" in quotes because the definition of success is really unique to the person.) Look at Sheryl Sandburg, for instance, who wrote a whole book about women and work. She writes about the tug-of-war between home and work, but shares about how she succeeded in both. Other women have written about the immensity of work left to women, and suggest talking to partners about how to balance the responsibility. I've read blogs from women who feel working makes them better mothers, and blogs from women who recognize that full-time working and mothering, or even wife-ing don't go together. Maybe culture needs to see that women are valuable and of equal worth whatever they decide to do with their time, whether at work, or in the home.

As a result of what I have seen, I would like to suggest that women have inherent worth, and that they have this worth whether or not they work outside the home. I believe that a strong woman is not one who breaks glass ceilings, but who searches her heart and is true to herself. For some, that means pursuing a career. For others, that means "sacrificing" a career to fulfill a calling to stay home and be the CEO of domestic duties and perhaps children. I don't believe that women have to have children to be valuable in stay-at-home or work pursuits, either. There is beauty in diversity, and I believe, a diversity in callings.

 In a nation that touts equality and demands tolerance, can we really say the future is female if we do not value all females in all their roles and all their places? I think not. All women are valuable. All women can be strong. The strength of women comes not from what they do or where they find themselves, but in who they are. Strength is a matter of heart, not position, and I hope society as a whole soon starts recognizing that.

I Lost Some Fitness and Gained Some Health.

If you have been reading this blog for awhile, you know I took several breaks from running last year, choosing to focus on other activities like strength and hiking. My body was stressed. I felt super tired. I kept reading about people saying that running could overtax an already stressed body, so I quit. I restarted with commitment to base building last November. I remembered how much I enjoy running and renewed my commitment to try to stay healthy enough to do it. I had some race goals, but knew I had to hold those lightly given the continued prevalence of COVID-19.

Enter January when I found a 5K race I thought my husband might like to do. I proposed the idea, and was delighted when he accepted the challenge to train for it. I put on my coach's hat, referenced a few different Couch to 5K plans and drafted a calendar for him. I thought that he would train himself, but as it were, we started training together. Initially, I would go for a run and then come back and run his shorter training distance with him as a cool down. As his distances increased, though I started running with him first, and then running a bit longer by myself at the end. That greatly decreased my pace per mile, but allowed me to support him as he built up his fitness. 

To my surprise, the more my husband and I ran together, the more I enjoyed it and the less I cared about my pace. The more I enjoyed the process of running with my husband, the more I prioritized it. If I was tired on the off days of running with him, I walked rather than ran. If I thought that a different fitness activity might affect running, I didn't do it. I hiked less, watched my weight lifting, and overall let go quite a bit of fitness.

Overall, from January to now, my 5K pace has decreased over a minute a minute. When I look at just the facts, I get a little bit frustrated. But then I think about what I have gained. I have enjoyed extra time with my husband. I have felt less obsessed with running and more appreciative of it. I have tuned into my body and its needs a bit more. I have started to value running more for its secondary social, emotional, and mental benefits than its primary physical benefits. On the whole, I feel in a more balanced place.

Registered Dietitian, recipe developer, and blogger Gena Hamshaw wrote earlier this year about the importance of perspective when it comes to our physical bodies. She shared,

It’s humbling to find ourselves in a different state of ability than the one we used to have. It’s natural to look backwards. But we’re human beings, not machines. We’re changing all the time, often mysteriously and in a way that defies expectations. The best we can do is to meet ourselves where we are and thank our bodies for continuing to give us a home.

A lot has happened since my "peak" level of fitness: a move, a new job, COVID, race cancellations, restrictions that led to a more sedentary life, personal and social tragedies, etc. I can mourn the level of fitness I once had or give thanks for the ability to engage. I can look with envy at my past stats, or think gratefully about the blessing it is to still be living at all after so many have lost their lives. I can resent running with my husband because it slows me down, or enjoy every extra minute of the time that he dedicates to running with me. I have choices about my perspective, and it is pretty apparent which choices benefit me most.

There is fitness, and then there is health. Fitness is primarily physical. Health is so much more. It is a unique interplay of relational, mental, emotional, social, spiritual and so many other factors. While I may have lost some physical fitness over the past year, I have gained so much more. I am grateful, and thankful to God, my body, and my husband for getting me here.

The COVID-19 Vaccine: Three Ethical Issues to Consider

Since I already wrote about getting dose one of the COVID vaccine, I figured I might as well share about dose two, or at least about some factors my husband and I considered before I entered into the vaccination process. My hope is that my post might promote critical thought by those who have not yet gotten the vaccine and are considering doing so.

*Please note that I am by no means an epidemiologist. I am certainly not the CDC and can give no medical advice. I am just sharing my experience and thought processes in this post.

1) Vaccine sourcing: This was my first concern when I found out that I was eligible to get the vaccine. I wanted to know what I was putting into my body. "Do no harm" is a common mantra in the medical field, and I did not want to violate it, even in getting a vaccine, a form of medicine. I found resources like The Charlotte Lozier Institute helpful in understanding where the vaccines came from and how they were developed.

2) Marital unity: My marriage is very important to me, and I wanted my husband to be on board with whatever decision I made about vaccination. Ultimately, based on my health, my job, and several other factors, we decided for me to try to get the vaccine. I needed my husband's support, because pro or con, he would experience the side effects of it, politically, publicly, socially, and relationally.

3) How getting the vaccine may effect others: We had much to consider in terms of how my vaccination would effect others. We understand that some are opposed to the vaccine, and we do not feel that it is our job to convince them to change their minds. We wanted to respect their position even as we asked them to respect ours. We sought advice from medically informed members of our family, but did not openly discuss our decision with others, at least until after I got vaccinated. We did not want to create stumbling blocks or rifts in our relationships.

In regards to vaccination, our primary concern was for my work and how my illness might affect the many families whom I serve. We felt that a vaccination that might protect me would enable me to keep serving, and therefore hopefully support society as a whole. This was a pro.

We also considered that I might get sick from the vaccine itself. That illness might be short term or long term, and it could certainly require my husband to take on extra responsibilities. This was a con. I could also have serious side effects, up to death, less likely, but still worth considering. When all was said and done, I did have a day of illness after dose two, minor in the grand scheme of things, but still something worth considering as it did require extra care and heavier duties for my husband.

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In the end, am I glad I got vaccinated? Yes. I am. It was the right decision for us. Is it the right decision for you? I don't know, but I urge you to consider the ethical issues and weigh your options. It is easy to make a snap decision based on a few factors, or on the opinions of others.. It is harder to weight all the possibilities and make an informed decision. Informed decisions matter, though, and since there are consequences for decisions, it is important to know that you made the right one for you, your friends, your family, and your faith.

Real Life Marriage: I'm Not the Woman He Married.

We've been married for 20 months now. Sometimes it feels like a day. Sometimes it feels like a life-time. I love my husband, but even after all this time, sometimes I feel like I don't know him. Like really don't know him. But then I realize that he might feel the same way. I'm not the woman he married all those months ago. I'm a pretty different woman from that person who stood in front of 200 people and kissed him to become his missus.

I had gotten to what I thought was a place of security before I got married. I had read Braving the Wilderness and embraced "wholehearted living" and all that. I had accepted that I might be single forever and started to find my niche in life. I had reconciled some old wounds with family and redeemed some memories. I felt confident. Maybe that's part of what attracted my husband to me. I don't know. What I do know is that marriage has re-exposed a lot of my old insecurities. Instead of confident, I often feel weak and vulnerable. I engage in some less than stellar behaviors. My husband may wonder what has gotten into me. He never says anything, though. He just supports me as a I seek to become a better woman, a better wife.

I had a different job when we got married. I had worked there awhile and sort of knew the swing of things. Then we moved. While I stayed in the same profession, I had to take on a new job and learn new ways. I have been at my current job for over a year, but still don't have things down. Although my priority is home, my work/life balance leaves something to be desired. I have always struggled, but now more than ever. I am not the working wife I want to be.

When we got married, I had a little more time than I had now, and perhaps a little more motivation because being a wife was new. I cooked several nights a week. I did most of the chores. I enjoyed it. Now, I often feel overwhelmed by what it takes to keep our house going. I cry more than I would like. I want to be a good homemaker. That hasn't changed. My capacities and abilities have, however. I have to ask for and accept more help. I am not the woman my husband married. It is humbling.

I like to have fun. I liked to celebrate. That doesn't change, but when I am stressed, my will to carry out my desires flags and fails. I need more time to rest. All but the bare minimum goes out the window. COVID plus the recent pace of life have created lots of stress, and I have morphed into a more rigid, less fun person, at least for the time being. I schedule more, plan more, and do less. It is just the way things are.

I could go on and on about changes in me since I married. Some are positive. Many reflect areas of struggle that still need work. That's real life, real life that marriage has changed. The process is sanctifying. The process is life-altering. I'm not who I was. I never will be. My husband is not who he was either. As Richard Needham says, "You don't marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as the result of being." We are both in the process of becoming. When we got married, we joined to form one new entity. I am now and forever a wife. He is now and forever a husband. We are different. We should be different. And since we are, we must now focus on getting to know each other all over again. It's a process. A process of which I hope we never tire.

Bare Bones Recipes

The COVID-19 outbreak of 2020 brought with it many lessons. One of these is how privileged I am in terms of food. Pre-pandemic, I could look up menus and make shopping lists without a second though. I could go to the store and find most supplies. Not so early-mid pandemic. I didn't want to risk going to the store. When I did go, shelves were empty. Although everyone advocates a well-stocked pantry, I didn't have one. So I had to make do with what I had, and what I could eventually find at the store, or via grocery pickup. After the initial shock, I found that having "less" what surprisingly enough. Less led me back to the basics, as well as some enjoyable new recipes.

Basics:

-Eggs (yes, we still had these)-scrambled, fried, hard boiled, poached; in casseroles, for French toast, etc.

Have you hear of oven-poaching eggs? I haven't perfected the art of properly oiling the muffin tins, but this might be my new favorite.

-Potatoes: hard to find at first, but then good for straight-up baked (with toppings), breakfast potatoes, potato fries, mashed potatoes, and a new favorite, potato pancakes

-Salad: lettuce (well-rinsed, but always the case as lettuce can have dirt, if not other germs) + whatever you have on hand (vegetables, leftovers, sandwich meat, stale bread, etc.) + oil and vinegar

-Sandwiches (put in the toaster oven or George Foreman grill, aka panini press for melty cheese)

New recipes:

-Breakfast:

Egg and banana pancake (Fannetastic Food) 
[My version of pandemic banana bread, and much easier]

Flourless pumpkin pancake (Kim's Cravings)

-Mains:

Big batch Instant Pot white beans (Epicurious)

Okay, not new, but used during this time. People didn't buy out the lima bean supply like they did the other beans.

Instant Pot black bean soup (Food Network)

-Dessert:

Chocolate depression cake (Budget Bytes)

Just a few staples, and voila, dessert!

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We've come up with a few more recipes since flour became more available, but overall, we're sticking to simple. It saves money, time, and hassle, and being creative is enjoyable in it's own way? My favorite recipe made during pandemic time? Probably the flourless pumpkin pancake (pictured here). But I'm a sucker for pumpkin.

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What about you? Any favorite recipes from the (ongoing) pandemic times? Please share in the comments section.

I Got the Shot.

I got the shot. Yes, the COVID-19 vaccine. I know the vaccine is controversial, and I am not here to convince anyone to make a decision one way or the other. Since I've lived a whole week past getting the vaccine and seem to have no serious side effects, however, I thought I'd share my why for the vaccine, as well as my experience thus far. 

My husband and I talked and prayed a lot about the vaccine. In the beginning, I felt hesitant. I am not usually one to embrace new medicine head-on. I would rather give it time to evolve and prove either efficient or inefficient. The nature of the COVID-19 pandemic did not really allow for time, however. So we did our research and decided that if I could get an ethically sourced vaccine (read, not made with abortion-derived cell lines), I would. But why? Why would I take this risk? Here are a few reasons

1) My Job: I work in behavioral health, and for almost a year now, I have had to see all my families via telehealth. It works, but it is not ideal. The nature of my work is that it is best done in person, in person where I can sit with hurting people and share their burdens. In person where I can weep with those who weep and mourn with those who mourn. In person where I can embody the Savior who gives hope. To be in person, I need to be well. And I need to stay well, hence the vaccine.

2) My Household: The income I earn at work helps provide for the needs of my household. Could we live without it? Yes, but it would be difficult. I feel that taking steps to protect my health so that I can keep on working is a way I can take my responsibilities to my family seriously.

3) My Own Health: I have been blessed with fairly good health overall, but when I get sick, I get really sick. COVID cases seem to be not too serious, or really serious, even deadly. I would rather not find out which camp I fall into if I can help it. The vaccine might help.

4) The Front Line: The doctors and nurses of our hospitals are exhausted! If I can do something that will perhaps prevent me from having to seek their care and further the enormous burden on our healthcare system, I'd like to do it. Enter the vaccine

5) Control: The pandemic is completely out of my control and in the hands of the Sovereign God. What are in my control, however, are my actions. Since God is a God of wisdom and I believe he gives wisdom to doctors and scientists who make vaccines and medicine, I believe that getting a vaccine is within the realm of actions I can take. Additionally, choosing the get the shot now meant I had some control over what product I got (e.g. an ethically sourced one), and when I got it, decisions that may not be available to me in the future. I got the shot as an act of faith and as an act of personal responsibility.

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So what was my experience like? First of all, let me state that I am fortunate that I was in vaccination group 1B for my state. This meant that I could get the vaccine after the health car professionals on the immediate front line. For this opportunity, I am extremely grateful. Second, let me say that although it was a bit of a hassle and a long drive, I am very pleased with my experience. I got vaccinated at a large drive through site and the staff there were so kind and pleasant. Through a few checkpoints, through a tent where a nice nurse gave me the shot while I sat in my car, a 15 minute wait for side effects in said car, and then driving away. Getting the vaccine couldn't be much more efficient!

What shot did I get? I got the Pfizer shot since I live in a city. It seems that this is the most common vaccine to be given in metro areas since it has to stay frozen. The shot itself hurt less than the flu shot, or really any other shot I have received. (This might be due to the skill of the nurse, but might also be due to the freezing temperature of the vaccine, as pointed out by my wise little brother.) I felt fine for a few hours after getting the shot. Then my arm started to hurt, like really hurt. The pain radiated down to my wrist at one point. My whole body ached by the end of the day (perhaps due to the shot and perhaps due to the activities of the day; maybe both) and I took an ibuprofen. The next day, my arm felt considerably better, tender, but better. After that, it didn't really bother me at all. Through the week, I had no fevers, engaged in regular exercise, and did my work. I feel very thankful to God for no serious side effects. Whether or not the vaccine will do its work and protect me from COVID remains to be seen, but it's worth a shot!

Note: As stated in the beginning of this post, I know the vaccine is controversial. Please feel free to engage with me privately in healthy discourse, but please do not fill my inbox with condemnation of my decision or reasons why I should not have taken the shot. My husband I decided I would get it and I did. End of story. I encourage readers to do their own research and make their own values-based decisions rather than using their valuable time to criticize me for mine.

What is My Life?

I faced fear a lot in 2020. First it was fear of dying from COVID. Then it was fear of spreading COVID to others. Then it was fear of quarantine of its consequences. I had fears of the judgments of others. I had FEAR. And it was becoming an idol. 

My family and I have not experienced COVID yet that we know of. We did face multiple exposures and one quarantine, however. One exposure came right before Thanksgiving for my husband. He wasn't concerned, but did act responsibly, immediately ceasing contact with the public and getting tested right away. He got a negative test result, but we weren't sure if that would hold. I agonized over what to do about plans to see family (e.g. my parents) for Thanksgiving. We had already decided to go small, but should we cancel all together. My parents insisted on coming to see us. My husband said we couldn't tell them what to do. I wasn't so sure, but as I walked that morning before they arrived, the verses below came to mind:

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" (James 4:14, New International Version).

"Everything that does not come from faith is sin" (Romans 14:23b).

I had to ask myself what my life meant to me. I felt convicted that I needed to ask the Holy Spirit to show me if I was acting out of faith, or out of fear. I had to confess that it was the latter, and that I was focusing on the value of my life, wanting to escape unpleasant emotions rather than seeking God as God and honoring others above myself.

My husband has been following COVID mask requirements and praise the Lord, did not get COVID from his exposure. We were careful, but my parents still came for Thanksgiving and we enjoyed some sweet time together. We would have liked to see other family members and/or have a larger gathering, but we gave thanks for what God allowed and protected.

After Thanksgiving, my 90 year-old granddad declared that he wanted to see family and come visit for Christmas. This seemed risky given his age and the need to travel by plane. He acknowledged the risk, but declared it worth it. He dutifully wore his mask and followed all precautions, while we continued to mostly self-isolate apart from engaging in work and other essential activities. In the end, we were able to join together for a very special time of celebrating the coming of Christ to earth.

As of the date of publishing this article, my family and I are still healthy. We do not take this for granted or believe it is because we are more special. We are trying to seek God's wisdom and follow guidelines, while simultaneously living faith. Because what are our lives worth without faith?

I write this post not to suggest breaking COVID restrictions. I write not to criticize those who are more or less careful than my family and I have been. I write to suggest that we add to the current conversation about disease transmission the matter of perspective and the worth of life. My parents recognized the risk of seeing us at Thanksgiving, but valued family life above their fear of the virus. (From the news articles, it seems other families felt similarly.) My granddad acknowledged the risks of traveling to see us, but believed that this was the right decision and walked out on faith. Granddad considered the value of his life and the lives of others and acted accordingly. Am I doing similarly>

What is my life? My life is a creation of God's to be used by God's. That means I need to live in line with God's values. That means both submitting to governing authorities (Rom 13)and walking by faith (2 Cor 5:7). This is difficult to do in the midst of a pandemic, but it is what I am called to do. May God be glorified as we seek to continue to walk in the light of His life.

Endurance: My Word for 2021

Whew! Twenty-twenty was a year, wasn't it? And although we have turned the page on the calendar, it isn't over yet? What do I mean by that? Well, COVID-19 defined much of what was 2020: social distancing, quarantine, isolation, illness, death, new rhythms of life and work, etc. And COVID-19 isn't gone. It won't ever be gone, but perhaps in the future, less prominent? I sure hope so! So with that sentiment, I begin 2021 with the word endurance.

My word for 2020 was faithful. I wanted to be faithful to my work, my husband, and my faith (not necessarily in that order). Boy, did the year give me a run for my money! I'm not sure I succeeded in being faithful, but I sure tried. And trying it what I want to do in 2021, but maybe with a little more stamina.

I haven't always been a word person. I stole the idea from a dear cousin years ago. My word for that first year was joy, and I kept a journal noting every time I saw the word or experienced it. I don't journal so religiously these days, and sometimes I even forget my word for the year, but usually, it's helpful.

The word endurance came to me on a morning walk one day. Lamenting the struggles of 2020, I wasn't planning to choose a new word, but then the Holy Spirit impressed this one on me. I don't want to ignore it.

Verses help me found my conception of my word for the year, so a few for the word endurance are:

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses" (1 Timothy 6:12, New International Version).

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" (Hebrews 12:1).

How do I want to practice endurance?

In my work: By finding new ways to be faithful to my tasks and make my job sustainable.

In my home life: By seeking out ways to not just survive, but thrive amidst all the to-dos.

In my running: To both build endurance and find practices that help me make running sustainable for the long run.

In my marriage: By continuing old practices and by instituting new ones to help our commitment stand the test of time.

In my faith: To not grow weary in doing good, but to keep up spiritual disciplines and to trust God when it's hard, especially when it's hard.

Endurance. That's my word. That's my prayer for 2021. May God grant it to me should it be His will.

Promoters of Hope

My sister-in-law got us discussing the meaning of hope over Christmas. We were trying to explain the concept to my almost two year-old niece, and failing. Quite frankly, I don't often understand hope myself. But as I've thought over it, and had hope visit my heart a few times lately, I've at least come up with some promoters of hope. While we cannot control our circumstances in this new year, we can control our actions. And I'd argue that we could all do well to take some steps towards hope.

Precepts: My husband posits that hope is not expectation, but faith that God is who He says he is. So as believers in Christ, we have hope when we know what God says about Himself and his actions. We learn those truths in the Bible.

Action step: Consume more of God's Word. Read it. Listen to it. Study it. Sing it. Recite it.

People: Sometimes we need people to hold hope for us. My dad did that during an especially difficult time in my teen years, telling me life would be better when I got through. I didn't believe I'd make it through, but Dad did. He held hope until I could grasp some for myself.

Similarly, my nana believed that I would get married one day. I was way past that when I met my husband, and unfortunately Nana went to be with Jesus before she could meet him either. Her hope lives on in our marriage, however.

My husband constantly holds hope for me. He told me we would get our house when I didn't believe. He looks forward to good things. He reminds me of truth. His very presence embodies hope.

Action step: Find your people and allow them to speak hope into your life. Pay forward the hope you receive by encouraging others.

Probability: Hope needs to be realistic. Hoping that I will win a million dollars is not probable, even if it could realistically happen. If I constantly look towards things that are not likely to happen, I will get disappointed and grow weary in my hope. If, only the other hand, I look for small things, have smart goals, I have a chance of seeing them come to fruition and thereby growing my hope.

Action step: Instead of new year's resolutions, why not make a list of small, achievable goals?

Possibility: Hope grows when its outcome is not only probable, but when I see signs that I am moving towards it. I started feeling more hopeful about this new year when some good things came my way last week. That doesn't mean the year will be good, but reminded me to look for good. 

Action step: Track progress towards your goals using a list, phone note, or even a vision board.

We can all use some more hope, can't we? And I believe we can all become promoters of hope. The above action steps are just the starting place. So go out, hope, be hoped for, and spread hope in 2021!

Best Books of 2020

My phone became my main source of reading in 2020, in part by intention and in part due to desperation. I intended to replace some of my social media scrolling with reading, and when the libraries closed due to COVID, the Libby app became my sole source of books. I set myself a mandate that I read at least 15 Libby pages a day. It wasn't a lot, but with the other books I read (some bought, some from my shelves, and some from work), I compiled a reading list of 58, more than I have consumed in quite some time. So taking a page from a friend, I thought I'd share the best of these books, the ones I would add to my collection, or already own:

Cookbooks: Eat At Home Tonight: 101 Simple Busy-Family Recipes for your Slow Cooker, Sheet Pan, Instant Pot, and More by Tiffany King—Using simple ingredients and mostly whole foods, King shows readers how to make family dinners work! She posits that family dinners are one of the few times people can meet all five language needs, and I couldn’t agree more. Interweaving cooking and parenting advice with recipes that tackle common dinner challenges, this cookbook has a clean design and was truly a feast for the eyes. With the only downsides being sparse photos and only a few recipes I wouldn’t try (mostly sides and desserts), I can truly call this cookbook a winner. I am ready to buy it right now for myself and for others, in fact!

Runner up: 100 Days of Real Food on a Budget by Lisa Leake— Clean eating, real food. It's all the rage. This cookbook takes the fads, simplifies them into real life principles, and makes them accessible to real life people. Leake doesn't say no processed food. She just says food with five ingredients or less (so cream cheese, ricotta, and straight up canned fruit and beans are okay). She encourages homemade, but understands when the family wants to splurge, and encourages budgeting for that. She shows how to make real, satisfying meals on a budget of $125 or less per week for a family of four. Through example meal plans and grocery lists, as well as costs for all the supplies needed to make recipes, Leake shows how cooking on a budget is achievable. She includes photos for every recipe, making the cookbook read more fun. While Leake's cooking style isn't quite mine, the tips in this book are helpful and encouraged me that living on a grocery budget is doable, and perhaps even enjoyable!

Christian/spiritual: Fifty Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die by John Piper (12/23/2020)—In his signature style, Piper once again articulated theological truths in an approachable, yet applicable manner. I had to read a few of these passages twice, but otherwise, I could make my way through reading a few reasons each day. Though I have known Christ and the power of his resurrection for most of my adult life, this book informed and broadened my perspective of Christ’s death and all that it symbolized and obtained for us. Thank you, Jesus, and hallelujah for the cross!

Runner up: Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands: People In Need Of Change Helping People In Need Of Change by Paul David Tripp

COVID-related: The Coronavirus and Christ by John Piper—This pandemic shocked the world, but it didn’t take God but surprise. Prolific author John Piper reminds readers of this and points to six ways God is working through the pandemic in his new book The Coronavirus and Christ. A wake up call for believers about what really matters, this book is a fast and timely read. The best place to find comfort and hope in these changing times is Christ, and Christ alone. Life and death are in God’s hands, as they have always been.

Runner up: Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky with Connie Burk

Fiction: The Masterpiece by Francine Rivers—Roman Valesco grew up on the streets, and his adult years have been full of bad habits, heartaches, and generally making a mess of life. But then Grace enters, bringing with her hope, but a “hope [that] was deadly” (p. 350). Roman mistreats Grace at first, but then comes to adore her. After nearly dying, (“It took dying before he could learn to live,” p. 461), he comes to know Christ and begins a life reform, a life that seems to have come too late for Grace. But Love. Roman, an illegitimate child who never knew his father comes to know God as Father and love, the emotion that had “always been the enemy, the emotion to avoid” blossoms (p. 467). Although this was a re-read, it kept me on the edge of my seat and I had a hard time putting it down. Rivers definitely has a gift for writing, for redemption!

Marriage: Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge—Ransomed Heart  Ministry leaders John and Stasi Eldredge make a compelling argument in this book that marriage is set in the midst of war. To have a truly fulfilling, God honoring marriage, spouses need to realize that there is opposition to their marriage, and fight against it! Sharing stories from their own marriage, as well as from the marriages of others, this is a real, nitty-gritty, sometimes embarrassingly true-to-life book about marriage. The prose flows, so the reading is easy. Application, however, is not. The only thing I dislike about the book is that it seems to infer at many points that marriage is the only way to grow more in love. I disagree. I do not believe God calls all believers to be married. Look at Paul! God sanctified him without the gift of marriage. Maybe the authors have a different book about singleness, or maybe they don't. Their mission is Christ-centered marriage, and they're ready to go to war for it. In war, there is often no room for side considerations or pursuits.

Runner up: When Sinners Say, “I Do” by Dave Harvey

Non-fiction: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin (9/30/2020)—Autobiographer and New York writer Gretchen Rubin found herself dissatisfied with life, so she decided to do an experiment. She decided to do a qualitative research project to see if she could improve her happiness. This book is her documentation. Written from an engaging, first-person viewpoint, Rubin chronicles her journey from day one to day 365. Each chapter covers the topic for the month, along with relevant research regarding why Rubin chose that discipline. In the end, Rubin concludes that yes, she could make herself happier, even if just by focusing on it, being herself, and keeping her “resolutions.” This is an encouraging and interesting read, one all could benefit from, especially in these otherwise stressful and relatively unhappy times.

And on the list to finish in 2021:

How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance your Marriage by Milan and Kay Yerkovich

Wife in Pursuit: 31 Daily Challenges For Loving Your Husband Well by Selena Frederick

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Readers, what books from 2020 resonated with you? What are you reading in 2021? Please share in the comments section.

Three Things That Got Me Through

As I reflect over this past year, I recognize many things I did wrong. Many ways I failed. Many things I could have done better. And I also see things that worked. Things that mattered. Things that gave life meaning. Among these were:

1) Sally's Baking Challenges: Something "silly" I picked up, but stubbornly managed to make my way through each month. The challenge instructions were sufficient to ensure sufficient success, and the completion of each challenge gave me a sense of confidence. The baking recipes also provided me with goodies to share with my neighbors, an "excuse" to form connections even while social distancing was the norm.

2) Hiking: I have written many times about the benefits of hiking. Hiking took on special value this spring and summer, however. At the height of the pandemic, it was one thing I could still do. Something that gave me a sense of accomplishment. Something that tired my body while helping my mind rest. An occasional way to connect with others, even if walking spaced apart and/or with masks. I started hiking more regularly when I realized the consequences to my mental health when I didn't do it. Meltdowns. More burnout. Less processing. As Abby Cannon stated in her episode of the Just the Good Stuff podcast, sometimes what we need is not more professional therapy, but more therapeutic activity (yoga for her). Hiking was that for me.

3) Blogging about marriage: Suffering is easier to endure when it has a purpose. Don't get me wrong; marriage is an incredible gift. This last year has been extremely difficult, however, in marriage and beyond. Being able to write and share about what God is teaching me has made it easier. Having people who read made my struggles feel more purposeful. And finding purpose in the struggle provided me with courage to endure.

What about you, readers? If you had to list three things you've taken away from this year, what would they be? What habits give meaning and purpose to your existence? What traditions or routines do you hope to carry from 2020 into 2021? I've listed mine above. Please share yours in the comment section below.

Three Reasons Why Happiness Is Hard

I used to think that happiness came easily, without effort. In fact, I think I defined happiness by its unwilled nature. But is that truly the case? Does happiness always come without work? I've come to believe lately that happiness is often hard. Here are three reasons why:

1) Sometimes our brains don't have what they need. Happiness requires both an activating event and a brain response. Sometimes our brains don't have what it takes to respond in a way that makes us feel happy, that is, the chemicals that happy antecedents should trigger don't come. This is why I personally believe that medication is sometimes necessary. Sometimes our brains need help to work the way that God-intended. Taking medication can have its own side effects, though. It can be hard, especially is a culture that still casts shame on mental health struggles. But the hard of medication, short- or long-term may be what is required to actually feel happy.

2) Happiness itself can bring with it feelings of guilt. In the midst of hard times, it can feel bad, even wrong to have happiness. When loved ones die, when people are in, when we are in the midst of a pandemic, happiness feels out of place. I think that's one of the reasons God gave us happiness, though, to sustain us in times of trial. It is hard to let happiness come when it feels like all we should feel is pain, but we should let it, because it may be that happiness that gets us through.

3) Fear can come in tow. It can be scary to feel happiness, because if we let ourselves have it, we acknowledge that we may soon not have it. Some of us would rather live in the expected hard than cope with the pain that comes from the ebb and flow of happiness. There isn't really a fix here, other than to acknowledge the fear and feel happy anyway. To live in fear is no way to live.

Is happiness worth it? Yes, I think it is. But happiness is also hard. I think if we acknowledged that, we might work a little more to achieve happiness, and in so doing, increase our appreciation of it.

Dumpster Fire

A good friend of mine dubbed year 2020, especially this end of it, a "dumpster fire." I have to say I agree. The sociopolitical, economic, even physical climate of the world is pretty stinky right now. Crises just keep coming, getting worse, even. Merriam Webster defines dumpster fire as, "an utterly calamitous or mismanaged situation or occurrence." "Utterly" seems like an absolute word, and maybe not all of 2020 was bad. People may argue about how everything has been handled, but I am sure I could not have managed all these crises any better. So yeah, "dumpster fire" is a pretty good way to describe 2020. 

My friend and I cannot be alone in the way we feel about 2020. In searching for 2020 Christmas ornaments, my husband and I actually found a dumpster fire one. (Yes, we sent the ornament to the friend who first used the term.) It led me to research the term and think more about specific analogies between this year and the fire. A dumpster fire has a putrid stench as it burns the refuse within. Like a dumpster fire, negative news has started to make life smell pretty bad. That stench can color the whole of my day. If I want to avoid that, I have to avoid the area. Similarly, dumpster fire smoke clogs the air, making it hard to see and breathe. COVID and political stress are the same, seeming to infiltrate almost every interaction I have. These, along with other things, have made it hard for me to focus on joy and celebration. A dumpster fire is often difficult to put out because of both its location and its contents, but it's important to put out for the same reasons. And maybe that is where the analogy breaks down. I don't know about you, but I feel like I've been running around trying to put out fires for most of the year, and it's not working. I'm exhausted. I'm testy and irritable and anxious. I am starting to wonder if continuing to try to put out this dumpster fire of a year is the best idea.

Dumpster fires burn up some bad stuff. This year has had plenty: COVID, racial injustice, death, and political unrest. I've tried to remain positive, control the burn. Maybe it's time to let the year burn, because some things need to burn so we can be rid of them. Also, I am not a firefighter. As long as the fire is burning in the dumpster and the owners know, it's not mine to manage. Maybe I just need to leave the issues alone, care about the people, yet not try to put out other people's (or society's!) fires. I enough have trash to root out of my own life. Maybe I need to focus on that.

Positivity has its place, but so does sorrow and grief and even (healthy) anger. This year has held a lot of those. So feel your feelings, friends. Acknowledge the fires. Throw into the dumpster what needs to burn and then put it behind you. The year might be a dumpster fire, but life is so much greater than a year, and we need eyes to see it.

Pre- and Post-Feast

Thanksgiving definitely feels different this year. We're living through a global pandemic. Many states have limited how, why, and where people can gather. Loved ones can't travel. Different foods are and aren't on the table, or in stores. It's sad, and yet there is still so much to celebrate. I've been looking forward to a small celebration with loved ones this year. Whether or not it will happen remains to be seen, but for now, I'm still preparing.

Pre-Feast:

Thawing our turkey: These calculators made, well, calculations, so much easier!

Relish: Seen in the photo above, I made this recipe on Sunday so that the flavors had a few days to meld.

BINGO: I made this card based on inspiration from my dear friend and A Cup of Jo.

I like lists, and this is just another way to keep one, to celebrate what we have and count our blessings, which are still many. I plan to use the card as a place setting. Silly and simple, it fits what I feel I could use more of this year.

For the feast itself, here's our proposed menu (which, as previously stated, remains up in the air at this time):

Post-Feast:

I'm already eyeing leftover recipes, especially these creative spins on what can become boring leftovers:

Thanksgiving leftovers eggs benedict (The Endless Meal)

Thanksgiving leftover enchiladas (Tasty)

Thanksgiving leftovers lasagna (My Recipes)

Thanksgiving leftovers quesadilla (The Cookie Rookie) 

Turkey gumbo (LA Times)

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. However you may celebrate, pre-, post-, or not-at-all, I hope you give thanks and celebrate your blessings, because there always are some.