Using Social Media More Mindfully

I've talked about why I've kept social media. Now I'm talking about how I am trying to consume it more mindfully. Am I perfect? No how, no way! I am as bad at disassociating by scrolling as the next person. I am noticing when I enjoy using social more, however, and that is when I am using it mindfully.

I enjoy social media when I have time to engage with it. Yes, I often scroll through quickly for updates, but when I take time to read, comment, etc., I find it more enjoyable. Mary Jelkovsky (2023) reported that she only opens up social media when she has time to engage. This might be a stretch for me, but it is worth considering.

Considering the time factor, I try to keep loose track of how much time I have spent on social media. Apple screen time is great for this. For a time, I did try using the parental controls to limit my social media use, but it just made me frustrated and frantic, not the attitude I want to have towards social media. Now, when I check my daily or weekly usage of screen time and see that it is high, I ask myself if I want to stay on social media, or consider doing something else. Sometimes I choose to stay, and sometimes I choose to go.

Other ideas to engage social media mindfully are plentiful. I have my social media apps set to the second screen of my phone so that I have to intentionally scroll to partake of them (Burger, 2021). This does not take much, but requires just a bit more pause before consuming. It is good to consider my headspace while consuming social media, and to check in with myself if social media use is helping or hurting me that day (Shuck, 2023). Taking breaks, or sabbaths can also be helpful as resets. (I often do this during Lent. I used to do it every Sunday, though not as much recently.) To be more mindful about social media, I have to engage my mind, and this is often what social media use does not do.

Ultimately, mindful social media use, for me, comes down to mindset. What am I doing? Why am I doing this? Who am I doing it for? Is this serving me? Answering these questions is at least a start of a foundation towards better, wiser social media use.

References:

Burger, J.C. (2021, August 17). A minimalist’s guide to using social media wisely + mindfully. Simply Fiercely. https://www.simplyfiercely.com/consume-social-media-mindfully/

Harrison, C. (Host). (2023, May 22). The harms of social media, and giving up a career as a fitness influencer with Mary Jelkovsky (no. 8). [Audio podcast episode]. In Rethinking wellness. https://rethinkingwellness.substack.com/p/8-the-harms-of-social-media-and-giving

Shuck, C. (2023, April 7). Unlock the power of social media: 19 mindful practices to enhance your online experience. LinkedIn. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/unlock-power-social-media-19-mindful-practices-enhance-shuck#:~:text=Set%20boundaries%3A%20One%20of%20the,breaks%20from%20social%20media%20altogether.

Why I've Kept Social Media

I go back and forth about social media, as evidenced by the posts I have written about it over the years. While I can definitely use social media too much, it also has its benefits. Here are some of the current reasons I have decided to keep my accounts:

1) Instagram is a place for me to play. I enjoy taking photos, curating my feed, and even making things to post on it, like my current Friday scripture posts.

2) Social media helps me stay connected. Yes, I can get too connected, but at the same time, it gives me ways to keep in contact with people I care about, even at a distance. If I am wise, I can use what I see on social media to prompt me to pray.

3) I learn things. I have probably learned more about running and running nutrition through Instagram than anywhere else. I can absorb the short bits of information and then research more if I wish. Social media also helps me discover new recipes, find interesting reads, and learn new kitchen hacks. These benefit my live overall.

4) Social media plugs me into a place. Our city posts a lot of hidden gems on their social media accounts. They also post contests and prizes, one of which we recently won!

5) Information is fast. I often see notifications of new blogs, city news, etc. on social media before I see it elsewhere. I definitely have to fact check information, as fast information is not always true, but nonetheless, social media can apprise me of current happenings.

6) Social media is a form of exposure therapy. I can pick apart every picture I take, whether it be of food or flowers or people. Posting encourages me to accept the imperfections I see and enjoy the creativity and connection I get via posting.

7) I can encourage. Social media is definitely a place where people cut each other down, but does it have to be? Why not make it a place of encouragement? I still see social media as a street corner from which to proclaim hope, the ultimate hope of which is found in the gospel.

8) Social media is a funnel. Julia Turshen pointed this out in a recent podcast (Harrison, 2023). I post links to my blog through Facebook. Pinterest and other platforms can point me to things that interest me. Again, I can overuse social media and go down the “rabbit hole,” but when I don't it is pretty handy!

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Will I keep social media forever? Not necessarily. Life is a series of evolutions and evaluations. (For example, I primarily use Instagram now, whereas I used to primarily use Facebook. Who knows what it will be years from now). May the Lord give wisdom as I continue to weigh what works for me.

Reference:

Harrison, C. (Host). (2023, June 19). Cooking without wellness rules and how social media is like diet culture with Julia Turshen (no. 10). [Audio podcast episode]. In Rethinking wellness. https://rethinkingwellness.substack.com/p/10-cooking-without-wellness-rules

Why Social Media

Today is National Social Media Day, and in honor of it, I thought I'd write a blog post about why I use social media. I have had Facebook since you needed a .edu address. I got Pinterest as a young working adult, and I tuned into Instagram when I moved back to Arizona. I periodically fast from social media because I admit, it can get out of hand, but each time I go back, I find some redeeming qualities, some reasons for me to use social media in moderation. Here are a few:

Camaraderie: Social media is a place to connect with like-interested (even if not like-minded!) people. I stay connected to my alma mater this way. I especially like Still I Run, and the running community as a whole. I learn from them. Maybe they learn from me. 

Celebration: Some social media is just fun! I enjoy posting joyful moments from my life. I enjoy celebrating with others from afar. I will also put in this category businesses and other entities that I follow in order to receive notifications and announcements. Not all are celebratory, but many are.

(en)Couragement: Hebrews 10:24 says, "Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." Not all the bloggers I follow are Christians, and not all are encouraging towards others, but the information I gain through social media, while a double edged sword, can encourage me towards helpful practices like self care, balanced exercise and eating, having a healthy marriage, etc. Social media also gives me opportunities to encourage others.

Community: Nothing substitutes for in-person interaction, but social media does provide some sense of connection. (See below.) I've met some special people through social media, mostly through The Joy Squad. One of these ladies is the most awesome pen pal ever!

Connection: There are some people that prefer social media as means of contact. When I delete social media, I have less access to them. Can I still e-mail or call them? Yes, but they're more likely to respond to a Facebook message or Instagram DM.

Creativity: Pinterest is a good place to find recipes. Bloggers provide fun craft and cooking ideas. I like the process of finding and reading about new ideas.

(Head on over to Instagram to see my post where I tagged some special people in each of these categories.

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All in all, social media brings me joy, so I keep using it. As I read this list, though, I realize that my reasons for using social media are a lot about me, and less about others. Maybe I need to change that. Social media brings me joy, but am I using it to bring joy to others? Food for thought....

Fasting From Social Media: Lent Part 1

I took a break from social media for Lent this year. Okay, so I didn't take a break from all social media. I deactivated my Pinterest and Instagram accounts and deleted the apps from my phone. I decided not to use my phone at the kitchen table. I chose not to check my favorite blogs for updates. And I did it for 40 days.

Why this fast? Because social media had lost its proper place in my life. I needed to remember that Jesus is my comfort. I needed to re-center.

What did I learn? 

1) I crave the mindlessness of social media. I found myself scrolling Facebook more during Lent since I'd eliminated the other sources of social media in my life. Fail there, but I decided to be gracious with myself. At least I was aware of my habit

2) My focus improves when I read on paper versus on a screen. I found myself more engaged and doing less skimming when I read paper books. In replacing my breakfast screen time with books, I was able to complete three and get a few more items off my #bucketlistproject.

3) I really didn't miss much. I returned to blog reading and Pinterest on Easter Sunday. I'd made a list of blog posts I'd seen on Facebook and wanted to read, and I blew through those in a few days. They weren't that earth-shattering in their content. As the days have progressed and I've returned to reading blog posts, I've found them less satisfying. They're just not fulfilling, and they shouldn't be.

4) That Instagram might be too much for me. I haven't re-activated my account. I'm not sure if I will. Instagram is beneficial for things like happy lists, but it's also one more thing to keep up with. I like seeing friends posts and receiving content that way, but it's also overwhelming and overstimulating. Stay tuned to see what I decide.

Has anyone else taken a break from social media? If so, what did you learn? Please share in the comments section.

*I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post. 

Social Media as Catalyst, Not Connection

I've felt extra lonely lately. And I've noticed that when I'm really lonely, I scroll social media for hours. (Okay, maybe I do this when I'm bored, too.) I scroll looking for something to touch my heart, for something to impact my mind, for something to make me feel less alone. You know what? It doesn't work.

Brene Brown writes in her book, Braving the Wilderness that social media is a catalyst for connection, but not a substitute for community. “Face-to-face connection is imperative in our true belonging practice,” she writes (p. 140). Man, I think she's right.

When I've had a long day at work, when I'm tired and alone and just want someone to understand, I scroll. I look for belonging. And most of the time I don't find it. What I mostly find are beautiful lives, lived in beautiful places, with a beautiful lack of struggle. There's some honesty, but most of what I see is the reverse of what I have, and it makes me angry and envious and more tired.

On the other hand, when I actually get out in community, when I force myself to make face-to-face connections, I come home tired and exhausted, but a good tired and exhausted. I find that I don't want or need to check Instagram or Facebook or Pinterest. I'm content, ready to shower, eat my snack, and head to bed. I've had my fill. I've filled and been filled, and I'm ready to accept my aloneness, to belong to myself and live my own life without comparison.

Social media isn't bad. There is some real and great and honest stuff out there. But overusing social media is bad, at least for me. When I try to make it something it's not, a substitute for community, it fails. I fail.

So here's to using social media as a catalyst, not a connection. To connecting with real humans, with real hearts, in real places. To experiencing the beauty that is life lived with real people, even if that includes real struggle.

10K Number Two (And Why Social Media is a Highlight Reel)

I've been trying to run more and run longer. Trying to stay healthy. Trying to get ready for maybe something bigger. But it's been a fight. This race was a last minute addition to my schedule. "Maybe you should run another 10K before you commit to more," Mom said. So I signed up. But then my husband was sick. I had days on end of late nights due to getting called out for work. I struggled to sleep and eat enough. Friday, multiple parts of my body were sick. I thought about not running. But I knew I'd probably feel better if I did.

I tried to go to bed early Friday night, but I also knew I needed to eat. So I choked down this cinnamon raisin bread bowl:

And then I got hungry, like insanely hungry. So I drank peanut butter hot chocolate and ate some granola and peanuts. That kind of backfired, though, as my stomach got upset in the night and I didn't feel like eating my planned pre-race banana in the morning. Instead, I stuck with sipping on some electrolyte water.

Mom and I met at a shopping center and car pooled to the race. (Read: I am terrible with directions and would have struggled to make it there myself.) The men folk were busy, so it was just Mom and I. Groom Creek is up in the mountains of Prescott, and this race benefit the local firefighter's association, a cause I wholeheartedly support.

After arriving, we took a few photos and watched the half-marathon launch. I started to get hungry and sucked on a gel. (My supervisor at work gave these to me. The verdict is out on efficacy, BUT it didn't make me sick and assuaged my hunger, which was a plus.)

My race started at 9 am. A previous runner told me this race was easier than Whiskey Row. I disagree. This race was anything but easy. I mean, look at these ups and downs: 

The race also started at a significantly higher altitude. I started off slow, which seems to be the name of my game. But I got faster as I went.

I was really trying to 1) beat my previous pace, 2) keep up with a runner near me, and 3) catch speed on the downhills. [The splits show where those were.]

The result: 55:09 and 3rd place in my division. Praise the Lord.

But here's where social media is a highlight reel. (I said this when I posted on Instagram.) I was out of breath when I finished. I felt like I was getting, but dodged, a bloody nose. I didn't feel like eating afterward and had to force down food again. I had to run like five errands after the race. I didn't see my husband basically all day because he was preparing to be in a wedding. My mom was sick the night before the race, which she told me after we arrived.

Did I enjoy running? Yes. Should I have run? Maybe, maybe not. In the end, I'm glad I did. I'm thankful for the opportunity and the health to do so. But...I don't want to glamorize my life or make it look like things come easily. Life (and running) is work. Sometimes you get out what you put in. Sometimes you don't. Sometimes you need to press through the wall and sometimes you need to rest. Wisdom is rightly assessing all the information and making the best decision for yourself, and for others. That's hard to do. And social media can in no way fully represent that struggle.

Ten kilometers two is a wrap. We'll see what happens from here. Check social media for highlights, but always know there is more to the story.

Self-Care

I heard the term "self-care" for the first time in my graduate counseling classes. Professors stressed how important it was, especially when seeing clients. "Take care of yourself to take care of others," they said.

To be honest, I kind of blew them off. "Yeah right. Whatever." I told myself. I'm fine at taking care of myself. And then I got to practicum, the stage where I worked forty hours a week at my paying job while seeing clients for 10-15 hours a week. I got exhausted, and not just in a sleep-deprived way. I got worn out physically, mentally, and spiritually. I realized that I had to find ways to rejuvenate my whole person or I wasn't going to make it.

Rejuvenation during practicum mostly looked like hibernating at home during the weekends, cooking, and cleaning, and napping. Those were normal life things, but somehow they calmed and collected me and got me ready for the next week.

Now, out of grad school and into my "real" job, I find myself exhausted again. Lots of things are taxing me: work, life, family concerns, deaths of friends, etc. I find that I need to practice self-care again, even if I'm not working as a counselor. In fact, I think we all need to practice self-care. It's part of loving ourselves and being human.

A lot of great ladies have written about self care. (See My Uncommon Everyday, ImmaEatThat, and The Real Life RD.) I thought I'd follow suit and share a few of my own self-care practices. Just remember that these work for me. (Don't compare!) Find what works for you. Love yourself and enjoy every little bit of life you can.

Cooking: When I have time to craft a meal, to really get in there and cut and chop and baste and saute, I'm happy. Florianne Jiminez calls this type of cooking "indulgent." Recent research suggests that the activities of cooking may release dopamine, a pleasure chemical in the brain, too.

(Crockpot 3-ingredient balsamic chicken sliders and cumin-lime coleslaw)

Getting out in the sunshine: Feeling the warmth of the sun and feeling its brightness make me happy. The sun was one of the reasons I moved back to Arizona, after all. Whether it's sitting inside by a window, basking in the sun on the porch, or getting outside for exercise, getting sunshine is vital to my mental health.



(Willow Lake Trail stairway)

Painting my toes: It seems a little frivolous and vain, and to be honest, I usually put it off far too long, but after doing it, I get a little bit of joy every time I see my toes. They just make me happy and help me love and appreciate my body a little more.




Social media: This is a gray area, because overdoing social media is bad for my self-care. It leads to comparison and envy and discontent. But in the right context, social media reminds me of the beauty and joy of life. Recently, I've liked following the posts of My Uncommon Everyday and The Real Life RD on Instagram. I also like perusing Pinterest and Facebook. One strategy I (sometimes) use to make sure I enjoy social media is to single-task (more on that here) and set a time-limit using my cell phone timer. 

When Fun Isn't Fun Anymore

As I have reconsidered the ideas of fun and play as an adult, I have realized that at some point, fun isn't fun anymore. I have exceeded my therapeutic dose. I am expecting something productive out of my play, which makes the fun unproductive. I have regimented fun to the point that I have taken joy out of it. Or I have just lost interest. These are all factors to consider when creating a plan to incorporate more fun into life, especially if fun is to have its intended purposes.

To give some examples, I find meal planning fun. I looked forward to it before I got married, and each month, when I write out our calendar of meals, I feel somewhat excited, maybe even giddy about the fun food we can make. Then it comes to grocery shopping and cooking. The store is out of ingredients, or the ingredients exceed our budget. Maybe I do not have time to cook the meals. Suddenly, the fun goes out of menu planning and menu planning becomes work. While cooking certainly contains work, I want it to be fun. If I want it to be fun, I have to consider adding in some flexibility with my planning, meaning I get less disappointed when I cannot make the meals I planned. Similarly, I might need to break up cooking so that I am not exhausted when the time comes to make my fun recipe. If the goal is just to feed my family, I have to push through the tiredness. If I want to have fun, I might as well wait, because cooking while tired is not very fun.

I like social media. Finding new recipes for my meal planning from Pinterest excites me. Poignant quotes touch my heart. Seeing photos of friends and family on Instagram and Facebook warms my heart. At some point, though, social media proves the law of diminishing returns. There is nothing new to see, yet I keep scrolling trying to find some new stimulating content. To keep social media fun, I need to set it down. I need to step away from time to time. When I find my sense of enjoyment decreasing, I need to stop. Scrolling until I am blotchy and bleary-eyed makes me angry about lack of productivity. I know. I said fun is supposed to be unproductive. It is, in that it does not have to have tangible tactile rewards. Lack of enjoyment, though, is a signal to reassess if the activity is really fun any more.

Running is my preferred source of exercise. I like having a training plan with a race on the horizon. These keep me motivated and on track. They encourage me to care for my body rather than abusing it. I have found that rigid plans, however, decrease my fun of running. Certain types of workout really bug me. They feel like work, rather than fun. Yes, some aspects of physical health include work, but I run mostly for my mental health, both to moderate stress, and to enjoy myself. Feeling forced to run, or run in a certain way really is not my thing.

Things that are usually fun are not always fun. Sometimes fun things lose their luster. Sometimes I overdo fun.  Sometimes I need a different dose of fun. I think the thing to remember is that the concept of fun is fluid. When fun is not fun anymore, it is time to reassess what I want, what I need, and what I need to do to purpose it, both for my health, and for the health of my relationships with others.

How I'm Trying to Redeem My Time

After constantly complaining about how little time I have, I decided to do a little experiment on myself. I decided to "audit" my time by writing down everything I did. I hoped to realize what was and wasn't taking me "so long," in an attempt to save time and use my time more wisely. Want to try this yourself? It's pretty simple. Just find some paper (I used my journal) and try to jot down the appropriate time it takes to do each task of your day. How specific you get is up to you.

Here are a few examples of my own time audits:

Day 1

Day 2

What did I learn from this experiment? 

• Although I can do my devotions in 3o minutes, I need to allow extra time to get up and actually get around to doing them.
• It takes me a lot longer to do some chores than I think. For example, I estimated that hanging out the laundry took five minutes. It takes more like 15 minutes. 
• Two minutes on social media is more like twenty, and night time is a black hole for social media use. If I don't use social media at night, I have a sliver of time for a relaxing activity like crochet, writing on this blog, or reading.

Will I continue the time audits? Maybe not everyday, but on occassion, yes. Time auditing takes time, but it also keeps me accountable.

Time efficient friends, any other suggestions or tips for making better use of time? Please share in the comments section below. 

Thanks!

Another One

Another one, and another one; one more personal, and one more public. Pastors resigning because of inconsistencies in their faith walks. I'm not here to excuse their behavior, nor am I here to judge them. I'm here to say that pastors are people, too. We should pray for them.

Scripture says that pastors are held to a higher standard (James 3:1). Elders are to be "above reproach" (1 Timothy 3:1). There's good precedent for having a plurality of elders at a church. As the saying goes, "power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely," so it is best that no man has full say over a church. Plurality of elders assures accountability. It also means that if one falls, the church remains strong. Many churches practice these things and still, it would seem that pastors are more and more falling from grace. Or are they?

With the increasing connectivity of social media, pastors have more and more opportunities for outreach, more and more scrutiny, and more and more opportunities for sin. Pastors could abstain from social media, but I am not sure that would fix the problem. Pastors are sinners just like the rest of it. Maybe we're just seeing it more with the increased visibility that social media brings.

That brings me to my point again: pastors are people, too. Yes, we should hold them to high account. Yes, we should encourage them to live faithful lives. When they sin, though, we should confront them with love, grace, and support, not ostracize them. As my wise uncle once told me, the church is supposed to be a hospital, not a showcase. It's a hospital for the greatest among us (whether in influence, wealth, power, or something else), and the least among us. Can we give pastors the same grace that we give regular parishioners? Can we give pastors the grace that Jesus gave us when he forgave ALL our sin?

Another one, and another one. And I am another one too: a sinner in need of grace, and a sinner saved by grace. The only difference between my pastor and me is my earthly position. In God's eyes, we're all the same.

Quieting the Mind

I'm and introverted perfectionist, and as such, my mind has a tendency to try to run away from me. I often equate the struggle keeping up with my thoughts to being in a hamster wheel that is spinning faster than I can keep up. Anyway...A friend asked the other day how to quiet the lies that Satan speaks into our minds, and I thought that question was worth addressing here. I am clearly not an expert on controlling the mind (which is why I need Jesus), but here are a few things that I do when my thoughts are going a mile a minute, and often in a negative direction.

1) Say, "Jesus" out loud over and over again.

There is power in the name of Jesus! (There's a great song about this, too: "Break Every Chain.")

2) Say, "I rebuke you, Satan, in Jesus' name" out loud.

A friend once told me that Satan is a spirit, not the Holy Spirit, and therefore cannot read our thoughts, so it's necessary to rebuke him out loud. "Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power" (Eph 6:10, New International Version)

3) Sing praise songs.

I'll never forgot the day that my best friend moved to another state. I was crying ugly tears and having a pity party when the Spirit was like, "Are you going to cry, or are you going to praise me?" I started singing through my tears and though I was still immensely sad, I remembered that God would never leave me (Deut 31:8) and was sovereign over this change in my life.

4) Scroll through social media (not always healthy, but distracting).

Social media is a double-edged sword, in that it can feed negativity and comparison. But it's also very stimulating, and switching from picture to picture takes me away from obsessive thinking for awhile (so long as I'm not looking at a feed that ties in with the subject of the hamster wheel thinking that led me to go to social media for distraction in the first place).

5) Do a hard crossword.

My supervisor in graduate school told me that it was necessary to find a hobby that would take all of your brain power so that the mind couldn't think of anything else. Hard crosswords, when I apply myself, do that for me. If I have my phone or dictionary out and am hardily searching for clues, I can't think about much else.

Friends, what do you do to slow down your mind and keep from overthinking? Please share in the comments section below.

Year in Review

The year of 2016 has almost gone and 2017 is coming. Therefore, it's time to review my 16 goals for 2016:

1) GO! on a cruise. Done! And I want to go on another one.

2) Stop checking e-mail on my phone while at work. I think I decided that I like doing this, but it is helpful to monitor how often and how much I use my phone.

3) Use more glass storage containers and less plastic. Improving. I recently bought more Pyrex-like containers, and my brother and sister-in-law gave me three more for Christmas.

4) Find my rambunctious side again. I don't think I accomplished this one. Maybe I'm just a serious old person.

5) Memorize some new scripture, or at least review the old. I realized that Scripture memory doesn't happen unless I make it happen. Now I try to memorize at least one verse, or part of a verse before eating my snack at night.

6) Clean out the pantry (fridge, freezer, et. al) and go on a grocery spend fast until it is done. This was a good experience and made me realize how wealthy I really am. I seek to continually be vigilant about using what I have, but also enjoying the blessings of sometimes having excess.

7) Purge excess. Soak up blessing. Moving helped some, but I'll need to purge again when I move out on my own. I have so much stuff!

8) Run a 5K. I ran three: the Race for the Cure 5K with housemates, the LPGA 5K with co-workers, and the Patriot Run with my family as spectators.

9) Embrace the quiet. I reinstated silent retreats once a month after realizing that I'd forgotten to do them since I moved to Arizona. I think I will need to learn more about silence for as long as I live.

10) Pursue counseling licensure. Done! Praise the Lord for granting me favor with the State Board. Now I just pray to find a place and a way to use my license.

11) Rest. I'm resting more, but again, I need to learn more.

12) Trim down the processed. Bulk up the produce. (In my diet) Ditto. I can always learn to eat better, but also to have grace with myself when I don't.

13) Bullet journal plan—streamline my to-do list. I find it very helpful to bullet journal my tasks lists in my personal and work planners. I plan to continue this in 2017.

14) Finish the books I have and read more. I think I read 48 this year. That would be four per month.

15) Spend time with and love the people around me. I enjoyed Thai dinner with little brother twice, a weekend away with Mom, and watching a movie with my sister-in-law who visited us for Christmas. I could probably do a better job about being present (not on my phone, cross-wording, crocheting, etc.) while with people, however.

16) Blog. Instagram. Something. (Experiment.) This marks a year of blogging, and almost six months of Instagram. Are these efforts really worth it? Beneficial to me? Beneficial to others? I don't need to write or post for others, but it does make it more fun. It also takes time. If I quit social media (sometimes I have the urge), I'd have more time. But what would I do with it? Crochet (hand-allowing)? Read? Volunteer? I need some down time, but is social media the best use of it? That might be a question for 2017.

Life Lately

Where did the first month of 2019 go? January is gone. That's for sure. I didn't blog (or at least make blog posts) for a month. It was weird, but it was good for me. Here's a little recap on life in case you're interested.

The Why:

I blog I find writing cathartic. I also blog because I like to share, and I hope that others will find what God is teaching me helpful in their own lives. But in December, Facebook blacklisted my blog for violating “community standards.” I tried to figure out what was wrong and fix it, to no avail. Facebook then proceeded to delete every blog post I had on My Arizona Adventure page. I debated starting a new blog to change my URL, but I'm not sure it's worth it. Facebook might red flag that URL, too, for all I know.

I decided to pray about my blog for the month of January and resume posting then. (So here I am.) I want people to be able to read, but ultimately I've had to realize that Facebook is not the most important part of writing. I guess people will have to follow my blog or subscribe or just check in to see what I write. Maybe Facebook will get fixed. Maybe it won't. I guess in the end, I just hope people read. That's ultimately up to the Lord, though.

Priorities:

David Allen says, “You can do anything, but not everything.” I'm realizing this in a big way. I want to do a lot of things, but I really only have emotional energy for a very few of them. To be honest, work takes a big portion of my energy, and I try to save the little bit of life I have is left for people I love. It's a balancing act, and one I have not mastered. I've found that when I push myself physically, I get sick, too. I'm trying to avoid that. So most days I exercise, eat, work, sleep, and review social media (my “downtime”). That's about it. I'm not necessarily proud the time I spend on social media, but it's an out, and it's working for me right now, so it is what it is.

Lessons:

Emotional: I feel a little more stable than I have for awhile. (Thank you, Lord!) I've realized, though, that I might be one of those “highly sensitive people.” My emotions come in waves. These waves or emotion are overwhelming and intense. If I acknowledge the feelings, experience them, and speak about them with people I love, I can recover fairly quickly. If I stuff the emotions, or discount them, I'm in trouble. Thankfully, I have people in my life who know and understand me and love me through the storms.

Spiritual: Fear is a good teacher. I wrote a whole post about this that I'll share later, but as waves of fear have struck me over and over again, I've realized that I'm learning from fear. Fear shows me what's important to me. I can let fear steal my joy, or let it signal the significance of what's just happened. Fear also forces me to go to the Lord with my feelings, and to restate my trust and my belief in His sovereignty. I'm not in control. He is. Fear reminds me.

National Wear Red Day 2/1/19

Mental: I don't want to wish my life away, but I do need things to celebrate. I've been reviewing the National Day Calendar and trying to engage in celebrating at least one holiday a week. Most of the holidays are silly, but I enjoy them, and I look forward to them. It's the little things sometimes.

Physical: I did the Self New Year's Challenge. It wasn't bad. It wasn't great. It made me practice focus and self discipline. I also discovered the circuit timer. I'm hoping to switch most of my exercise to race training, but my knee has been hurting somewhat, and I know I'll need time to focus on longer runs and nutrition if I want to run more, so we'll see.

Love:

Paleo slow-cooked Italian pot roast on peasant bread with a side of honey glazed carrots and green beans 

I got to cook for family and friends a few more times this month. Cooking is a form of creativity and self-care for me. It's also a source of new sensory stimuli. Besides cooking, I went to a wedding and on a quick trip to Las Vegas (to see people, not attractions, because let's be clear, I don't gamble, smoke, drink, or generally subscribe to any of the other components of Las Vegas culture). That's about it. I need to focus on planning some longer trips (cue need for brain power), because my vacation time at work is amassing quickly, and I don't want to lose it. Love is holistic: God, others, and me. All three areas need work.

New Disciplines:

I tried to go on a partial spending fast for the month of January. I also tried to prune my closet by forcing myself to wear different clothes every single day (at least a new shirt every day). I mostly succeeded. Perhaps I'll write more about these two experiences later.

That's a wrap.

That's January for now.

• Any thoughts, questions, or comments?
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Self Care For Me Right Now Means More Rest

I recognized that I needed to amp up my self-care when I started my new job. So I began looking for and pinning self-care challenges. I did one in June and another one in July. A few days ago, I deleted the rest of them from my Pinterest board, however. Why? I'm tired. Too tired to commit to another challenge.

I can complicate almost anything, and I've done it with self-care, too. I've made completion of the self-care challenges an item on my "to-do" list, rather than using them as opportunities to rest and take care of myself. To be honest, completing the self-care challenge has made my days more stressful at times (like when I needed to run on a rainy day or buy flowers when I didn't have time to stop at the store).

One day, I got rebellious and didn't complete the daily challenge. I sat on the floor of my room and scrolled through my social media accounts instead. Shauna Niequiest talks about wasting time in Present Over Perfect, and this was a precise example of that. Scrolling social media was also my version of play, which Brene Brown mentions as important in The Gifts of Imperfection. Engaging in play over productivity felt SO good.

As I listen more to my body and try to live more intuitively and authentically, I'm realizing that self-care for me is less about self-love, and more about self-compassion. Practically, it's about accepting when my body is hungry, tired, or scared. It's about accepting when my mind won't work or just doesn't want to be productive. It's about stopping and resting.

Am I abandoning self-care or not doing the things I need to do to remain healthy? No. I'm just focusing more on self-acceptance and self-compassion. I'm resting more and doing less. This is the only kind of self-care that will yield the kind of renewal and growth that I need.

My Prescription for Good Mental Health

I wrote this post awhile ago, as life and work got a little crazy. I'm revisiting it now and realizing how much I need a dose of good mental health. I've stopped doing some of these things, but I need to start again.

1. Three rows of crochet: I don't get to this every day, but overall, it's an activity that calms my brain (by crossing the center line, EMDR folks) and makes me feel like I've accomplished something for the day. More than three rows is not good self-care because of my "dystonia."

2. Positive mental input via podcasts and radio: In the midst of external criticism and feelings of inadequacy, filling my mind with the good stuff (aka crowding out the criticism) is vital.

3. Daily Scripture intake: Usually via reading, but sometimes via the audio One Year Bible recording. If I'm not starting the day with truth, I'm starting the day with no foundation

4. Good nutrition: It's easy to forget eating or eat junk when I'm busy, but neither turn out very well. Meal prep and snacks are vital during this time

5. Comfy clothes: When days are long, it's not good to be uncomfortable. I'm not talking sloppy here, but wearing clothes that fit and cover me thoroughly is vital to survival. Layers are also helpful for the widely varying temperatures in Arizona.

6. Floor sitting: There's got to be some science behind this, but sitting on the floor (usually to crochet) winds me down and helps me relax before bed.

7. No social media during nighttime snack: Scrolling Instagram or Pinterest before bed isn't a good idea. I'm in a brain-numbed state and I can't seem to stop. And if I do it while eating, I often violate point four by eating junk food mindlessly.

8. Crosswords: The antidote to my social media scrolling. These engage my brain and help me not think about the day past or the day future, or much else but my intense drive to finish. (Yes, I'm competitive with myself.)

9. Creative outlets: I need to make and create, even if I'm not an artist. This also goes back to number one, but also feeds into my need to make fabric cards and cook.

10. Prayer: I often don't want to do this, but I need to, and before the crisis, not after or during. Prayer is my power connection, as well as a way to calm my mind and remind myself that I'm not in control.

11. Yoga: I am trying to get back into practicing, at least once a week. Yoga is a good way to create a quiet space to detox mind, body, and spirit. It is also a way to stretch and unwind the kinks that build up in my body after a log week of work.

I'm not saying that I'm perfect, or even that I practice these things well, but I think it's important to make a list, to realize what works and what doesn't, so on those bad days I can remind myself to "take the pill" of my prescription for good mental health and chill.

What is your prescription for good mental health? Please share in the comments section.

*This post is inspired by Georgie Morely of In It For the Long Run.

Fun Free: Not the Way It's Meant to Be

I once tried to live a fun-free life. Not one of my finer times, as you will see, but you know what? It is probably time to write about it, because maybe other people have been where I was, wondering if trying to live an ascetic life would help put things back in order. Spoiler alert: It did not work for me.

Back in February, I was really struggling. I felt awful about myself, the world, and just life in general. Stress was high. I could not seem to keep up with everything on my plate. My husband told me to cut out things to make time for rest. I, in an act of defiance, decided to give up fun, and literally dubbed the month, "Fun-Free February" in my mind. What did fun-free mean? No Facebook (or social media in general). Only educational podcasts. No fiction reading. No fingernail polish. No flour (my Lenten fast). No French (learning via DuoLingo). No Fussing. That last one was my end goal. I was hoping to become a better person by eliminating fun things. I thought if I told myself I could not have things, maybe I would long for what I did not have less. No, just the opposite.

I found it hard to give up social media. I found that I had used it to distance and numb myself out from real life. Endless scrolling is not good, and that is where I found myself. Cutting that out meant, theoretically, more time, but also more felt pain. Having no where to go to take a break only made my mental health worse.

Since I gave up Facebook, I also gave up Instagram. Instagram was also a scroll trap, but something I realized that I also used as a creative outlet. Well, no time for that. I still took pictures, because that is what I do, but I realized I got joy from sharing, and well, I had one less opportunity.

I listen to podcasts a lot. I did not stop for February, but I did focus on only listening to learning podcasts. That made me miss the occasional, "just for fun," episodes thrown in. I started to like listening to podcasts less.

I rarely read fiction, but I made a focus to avoid it in February, only reading non-fiction, preferably Christian life books. No problems with that. I finished four books. I felt deprived, though, and reading became more stressful because of what I imposed on myself.

No fingernail polish really did not affect my nails. It affected my feet, as I like to keep my toenails freshly painted. It is somewhat vanity, but also something that helps me like my body more. With running and yoga and stretching, I look at my feet a lot. I like my painted toes. My feet? Not so much. This month, I had to stare at my feet a lot. Seeing my nails bare only contributed to further self-loathing.

I chose my Lenten fast before I chose fun-free February. Lent has a purpose, and I learned from it. Fasting from flour at the same time as basically everything else was not the best idea, though. Depriving myself of everything all at once only deepened my struggles.

DuoLingo is love/hate for me. I started because my husband suggested it. I like to learn, but it became a burden. Having time off gave me a few more minutes in the morning. Not being able to do it when my brain craved learning, well, once again left me sitting with hard feelings.

I should probably note that February was not completely fun-free. I did celebrate Valentine's Day with my husband by playing tennis and making a special dinner. My mom came down to go hiking with me. I had a day off work for President's Day. I excused the former because they were with other people, and the latter, well, it was just the schedule. My end goal was to be better, especially for the people closest to me, e.g. family, friends, and coworkers, so I could not exclude their fun. I failed to better them with my fun-free month, though.

Taking all the fun out of my life made my negative emotions more extreme. I had no exhaust valve, so my emotions came out in even more meltdowns (e.g. shows of extreme negative emotions, often accompanied by tears). I was not fun to be around. My limitations placed limitations on my those around me, especially my husband. My tolerance was low. I was a hypocrite when it came to teaching others to care for themselves while not doing the same for myself. Fun-free February was not good for me, or for anyone around me.

Fun and pleasure can become idols. I can look to them instead of looking to God for comfort. That is a problem. Asceticism can become an idol, too, however. I can think that in taking things away from myself I can somehow become a better person. I cannot. Only God can work good in me.

God created humans with the capacity for joy (1 Tim 6:17). I think we are supposed to use it. Balancing fun with the rest of life looks different for everyone. There are obvious wrongs in the Bible, but outside that, balance is a matter of prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit. I have not discovered the perfect balance, but then again, I do not think I ever will. I just know that fun-free is not the way God created humans to be. February was long enough to prove that to me.