LESS Scarcity

I set out this month with a goal of having LESS of a scarcity mindset. I wanted to focus on enjoying what I have instead of trying to nickel and dime save everything for some unknown date in the future. It's something I have really struggled with, and let me tell you, the Lord really did a work in me this month. It's not that I did not experience the scarcity mindset, but that the Lord opened my eyes to see the piles of blessings that I have. I can see. I can hear. I can taste. I can touch. I can smell. I can walk. And this month, I got to return to running. 

I got to focus this month LESS on scarcity and more on abundance. I noticed that I really had enough time to do special things (not all the things, but the special, priority things). God provided enough money for us to help some others. In the midst of really busy, stressful seasons for both my husband and I, we found margin to get away and enjoy the great outdoors and time with each other. 

It was not a perfect month. That's for sure. We had days we did not feel well. Internet issues interfered with our ability to work from home (as well as do other tasks of life). We found out we once again need to buy a new refrigerator (as well as a new dishwasher). But you know what? God was enough, more than enough. As Niro Feliciano writes in This Book Won't Make You Happy, “What we often miss is that God allows us to be content right now, in this moment, because the presence of God is enough.” This month was a giant lesson in that.

Reference:

Feliciano, N. (2022) This book won't make you happy: Eight keys to finding true contentment. Broadleaf Books.

Timelines

Our pastor preached a sermon a few weeks ago about timelines. Really, the sermon was about Jesus and how His birth and life and death happened perfectly, maybe not according to man's timeline, but according to God's. The pastor stated, "Everything on God's timeline will come to pass," and that got me thinking.

I stress so much about the future. I worry about tomorrow, next month, and next year. It's not an admirable trait, but rather a true struggle for me. Lately, I've found myself worrying even more about things I thought I'd decided to let go, like a house. Life is pretty good, and I don't have any major worries, so my brain seems to have decided to go back to worrying about things I don't need to worry about. I'm convinced it's a tactic of Satan to steal the joy of the present moment, too. By Jesus' power, I refuse to let him do that. 

"Everything on God's timeline will come to pass."

That means:

If I'm supposed to have a house, it will happen.

If I'm supposed to get my counseling license, it will happen.

If my work schedule is supposed to stabilize, it will happen.

If I'm supposed to get married someday, it will happen.

If I'm supposed to have a family of my own, it will happen.

If I need more education, it will happen.

If I'm supposed to...it will happen.

I believe the the truth written in the Bible that says "God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable" (Rom 11:29). Therefore, I have to trust that the things on God's timeline for my life will take place, and that anything that doesn't happen wasn't supposed to happen. But I also have to acknowledge that those those things on the timeline might not happen in the order I think they should, because this life is God's, not my own.

So friends, are you waiting? Waiting for a promotion? Waiting for that job change? Waiting for a life partner? Waiting for a child? Waiting to be where you think you should be? Everything on God's timeline will happen. Believe it. Trust it. Rest in it. 

May we together live in the now and not in the not yet.

A Good Place

I encounter a lot of people who think I'm behind on life. They think that by 30, I should have a house, a husband, a settled job, and kids. And let's be honest, sometimes I think I should have those things, too. That makes me feel discontent. But when I really stop to consider all the factors of my life, I'm thankful for where I am.

I'm thankful that I don't have a house because I'm more free to move about and continue to consider where God wants me to be.

I'm thankful I'm not married yet because I've had time to figure out who I am in Christ and what kind of person God might use to further form me more into Christ's image.

I'm thankful for the job I have because it is stretching and growing me in ways the "perfect" job wouldn't.

I'm thankful I don't have kids because my childlessness gives me time and energy to love on other people's kids.

And I don't think it's too late for some of the things that I want to still come to fruition if they are God's will. I'm not giving up on my dreams of one day having a house, a husband, my full counseling license, and maybe some kids of my own. Rather I'm seeking the Lord and working towards those goals in my own ways. I'm trying not to give into societal expectations that I "should" be at a different place at the same time. As Jennifer Rollin so aptly puts it, "Life is not a race....Wherever you are in your journey is perfectly okay." 

There are lots of hard parts of life, but I want learn to be present and content. Because wherever I am is a good place for me if it's God's place for me.

Life is Hard.

I was somehow under the impression that life would get easier at some point. That at some point, I could just celebrate and have some sadness lingering over me. Maybe I wouldn't arrive. But I could at least be content and not want more. Nope! Life is hard. It just is.

I'm an ISFJ, and I feel things deeply. I feel it when a kid gets removed from their parents. I feel it when coworkers argue. I feel it when friends and family members are struggling. I feel it when the seasons change. I feel it when the skies are gray. I feel it when the country is in a state of upheaval from the latest terrorist act, school shooting, or court case.

But I also feel the joy when adoptive homes open. When people reconcile. When family and friends succeed. When hopes springs anew. When the sun shine. When there is redemption. 

Life is bittersweet. And as Brene Brown says, “We can't selectively numb emotion. Numb the dark and you numb the light.” I am finding that to be true. I can't feel the joy without feeling the pain. I can't feel the gladness without feeling the sorrow. I can't celebrate without having wept.

So if I'm going to live life, I guess I'm going to have to accept that life is hard. Because I have to see that life is hard to feel that life is also good and worth living.

Letting Go

Fall is somewhat of a somber season for me. The length of time the sun shines shortens. The brightness of life fades. I feel tired. But instead of fighting the changes of this season, I am seeking to embrace them. And running head first into Fall means not only embracing change, but also letting things go so change can happen.

I feel like God is asking me to let go of a lot of things in this season of life: my timelines, my expectations, my hopes and dreams, my definition of what it means to live a good life. My life is not bad by any means, but it is hard. I thought I'd be married with a family of my own by this point, or at least living in my own house. I thought I'd have figured out some of the hard stuff. I thought I'd be settled into my job, have friends, by plugged in fully at church, etc. etc. I thought...but God had other plans.

I saw this quote on Instagram the other day and it really resonated with me. God has taken some things away, and allowed other things to fade, but He is still present. And if He is still present, there is beauty. 

My dad likes to say, "It is what it is." My life is what it is. My relationships are what they are. My current possessions are current, and that is all. Sure, I've let a lot go, and I'll probably have to let more go. But this is my life, and I don't want to miss it. 

So if this season both externally and internally means letting go, I'm going to look for beauty. I'm going to embrace the present and try to just be. By God's grace, I can practice stillness, wait on the Lord, and choose joy. 

Perhaps letting go will make space for God to plant new hopes and dreams and desires in my heart. Or perhaps the Lord needs to make room in my life for more of Himself. Both probably need to happen. May the beauty of the Lord shine through this season in either case.

I Choose Joy.

It's no secret that For King and Country is my favorite band. And I do get super excited when they put out a new song. (I'm eagerly awaiting the release of their new album October 5th.) But the reason I like their music so much is that it resonates with me. Take for example, their new song, "Joy."

"And I choose joy" is the central lyric of their chorus. My life is not terrible by any means, but I have been struggling. I get tired and exhausted and somewhat despairing of life more often than I'd like to admit. And multiple times lately, as I've been feeling this way, I've turned on the radio and heard, "Joy." Through it, I heard the Holy Spirit gently asking me, "What will you choose, Sarah?"

I truly believe in the importance of honoring and acknowledging feelings, but I also know I can't dwell in the feeling realm. Nancy Wilson, in her book, Learning Contentment, writes that “Ruminating on your troubles makes you grumpy, increases your lack of thanks for what you have, and 'stresses you out' so you can't enjoy your blessings” (p. 47). She states that the direction of our gaze fixes the contentment of our hearts. As I drove into Prescott last weekend after a particularly frustrating morning, I had to ask myself where my eyes where, and they're weren't on God or on expressing gratitude. They were on myself and my troubles. As God worked on my heart, "Joy" came on and the Spirit once again asked me, "What will you choose?"

So as I work to fix my eyes on Jesus, I'm giving myself a little challenge. I'm starting an #IChooseJoy hashtag campaign for the month of September to remind myself to look for the good, focus on Jesus, and express gratitude. 

Want to join me? Just use the #IChooseJoy hashtag and feel free to tag me when you post. I'm at MyArizonaAdventure over on Instagram and you'll see I started the campaign with my September 1st photo. My goal is to post at least once a day all month long, because I truly want choosing joy to become a habit.

Singleness is a Lonely Place.

I've been single for my entire life. It wasn't such a big deal when I was in high school, or college, or even a little bit post college. I had my family, my friends, and my people. But now, as I pass 30 and head into the wide unknown of the future, my singleness hurts.

As a teen, I always thought I would get married and have my own family post-college. I had life planned out up until that point. When college ended and I found myself unmarried, I wasn't quite sure what to do. But God provided a place for me to live with college girls and they became my family. In some ways, it was weird being the only working adult in a house full of college students, but I became a surrogate mom of sorts. In that role, I harped on the girls to keep the house clean, tried to model a "normal" sleep schedule, and even signed the discharge papers for a roommate who had an unexpected emergency room trip. I found my place, for a few years.

My college friends got married and some of them moved on. I started graduate school for counseling and though I felt called to talk that step, I still had the idea in the back of my mind that I might get married afterward. "Counseling would be a good side job if I had a family," I thought. But grad school came and went and even my very best friends married and moved on. I decided to move myself.

I had no expectation that I'd get married when I moved home to Arizona. But I also had no idea that I'd end up actually living at home with my parents for over two years (and I'm going on year three!) This has been a redeeming time, but I am also realizing how very lonely I feel. I'm trying to figure out where I fit and how to find my own community outside my family of origin, and it's HARD.

There isn't a great place for singles in the world, and especially in the church. I hid out for awhile after I got home, trying to find a community of people like myself. But I mostly found older singles recovering from divorce, married moms my own age, and much younger high schoolers. I didn't do a whole lot with any of them because I felt out of place and different. But then I got desperate for community and convicted that I needed to try it, and I and started to humble myself and reach out more. I started going to the Bible study of mostly older, married women, hanging out with 18 year-olds on worship team, and basically doing whatever I could to find and associate with people. As a result my singleness has begun to be acknowledged and I have made some friends, which is refreshing in some ways. But now it's like I'm the poster child for singleness and the receipt of extra advice and feedback in that department. It's kind of a catch-22.

My mom says I'm sensitive about my singleness, and I think she's right. Singleness is a my reality right now, but it's not the sum total of my existence. I'm a counselor, a daughter, a friend, and a child of God. I have a lot of relationships that need love and attention, and in some ways, my singleness allows me to give more attention to those than I could if I was married. Singleness has some benefits, too. As a single, I can travel at will (as long as I schedule time off work). I have expendable income. I can make decisions and take risks that, to some extent, don't adversely affect others. I am able to hang out with a wide variety of people that I otherwise might not be able to. Do I still want to be married? Yes, but I'm not sure if that's God's will for me, and I know I can be lonely even in a marriage, because only God can completely meet my needs.

Singleness is a lonely place, but I think it can also be a lovely place, if I let it. I just need to stop focusing so much on my loneliness and live life. Because if I just live life, I think I'll find myself more thankful, more grateful, more content, and more satisfied. Singleness isn't my life. Christ is my life, and He is the only One who will never leave nor forsake me (Deut 31:8).

Do I Idolize Contentment?

As much as I talk about wanting contentment, I wonder if I want it too much. I wonder if I want contentment more than I want Jesus, if I'm seeking comfort more than I'm seeking the Comforter. Because when I'm seeking anything more than Jesus, I'm idolatrous.

As I was reading my Bible this morning, these verses really stuck out to me:

Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did.  Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: 'The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in revelry.'

(1 Corinthians 10:6-7, New International Version).

It struck me that I'm supposed to enjoy life, but that I'm not supposed to idealize, it, or idolize it. When I am too content, too settled, when food and drink and friendship and home satisfy me too much, I don't remember my need for Jesus.

Teresa Swanstrom Anderson writes in her book, Beautifully Interrupted, "Every day [God] reminds me, I didn't put you in this world to be content. I put you in this world to make a difference for My Kingdom" (p. 127). She goes on to write, 

Admittedly, when I'm soul weary there are times I actually crave the fat and happy idea....But I don't think that's the contentment God desires of us....I know it's when He stretches me and I have no choice but to lean heavily on Him that I need to be content. Content with knowing that His plan is the best plan. Unconditional contentment even in the wait. (p. 128).

The Lord knows that I am wanting for and waiting on a lot of things right now. Yet He calls to me, "be content with what [I] have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you'" (Heb 13:5). God calls me to be content not in what I have, but with what I have, because I HAVE Him!

I've got a lot to learn about contentment, but here's to pursuing God in that journey. To worshiping the Model and Provider of contentment rather than the virtue itself. To finding my identity as a contented child of Christ rather than idolizing contentment itself. God, help me.