Seven "Healthy" Habits I No Longer Practice

Those of you who have been around me for awhile know that health and wellness are kind of important to me. There's the fact that my body is God's temple (1 Cor 6:19-20), but there's also the truth that I'm a perfectionist and want to do everything exactly right. I've been pretty rigid about following health and wellness recommendations in the past, but over the past few years of living in Arizona and trying to live more intuitively, I've realized that some of those habits aren't healthy for me anymore. Here a few of the habits I've recently ditched:

1) "Clean" Eating: I used to avoid buying "processed foods" in an effort to simplify my life and stay healthy. But living at home with my family, I have regular access to convenience foods and treats. So when cereal, candy, ice cream, a granola bar,or pizza call to me, I have them. Often times this convenience food is healthier for me because I eat when I'm hungry, rather than slaving away in the kitchen to make something from scratch when I was already starving.

2) Vegetarianism: It worked for me for awhile, but it does't anymore. My family eats meat, so I had to start eating it, at least for dinner, when I moved home. When I started my new job and found my stress levels higher and my energy levels lower, I added some additional animal protein into the breakfast and lunch meals that I prepared. It hasn't seemed to hurt me and I've maybe gained a little bit of muscle.

3) Avoiding bottled water: I freaked out about BPA in plastic bottles when I was in college. After that, I tried to avoid bottles of water because of the environmental impact. But in Arizona when you're thirsty, you've got to drink! I try to refill my BPA free CamelBak water bottle when I can, but when I can't, I can't. The dangers of dehydration far outweigh the negative consequences of disposable water bottles, at least in my opinion.

4) Exercising when I'm dog tired: Some exercise is good, but too much is too much. I've been sick quite a bit this year and am learning to take days off or engage in lighter exercise. And some days there just isn't time to exercise. My 5K pace might be slowing, but exercise is a privilege and at least I'm still able to do it sometimes.

5) Eating low fat: I've had high cholesterol in the past and I avoided eggs, cheese, and full fat dairy. But lately I've been craving more protein and even butter (which I previously disliked). So I've been eating whatever calls to me. We'll see how my blood work turns out this year, but for right now, I'm trying to eat what make me feel good.

6) Skipping the salt: Too much salt can be bad for you, but I started craving salt more when I began cooking from scratch. Maybe it was because I ate less processed food. Maybe I just liked the salt. I don't know. Now I live in Arizona and need the electrolytes, so I salt my food liberally. I try not to overdo it, but sometimes it happens. Salt is one of my lesser worries.

7) Avoiding hand sanitizer: I truly believe in the power of soap and water and washing hands. I know that killing 99.9% of bacteria can bread an 0.1% bacteria monster, BUT I work with kids and they have SO many germs. Hand sanitizer and bleach wipes are my new friends, and I have still been getting sick. I wash my hands when I can and use more natural cleaning products at home, but at work, instant sanitizers are my friends!

Has anyone else ditched some "healthy" habits in the past year? Please share in the comments section.

This post was inspired by Catherine's blog post and I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post. 

My Bitter Self

I've been finding myself feeling extremely bitter of late. I'm bitter that I'm not married. I'm bitter that my hand doesn't work. I've seen bitterness oozing out of me in the form of negative thoughts, snarky comments, and overall discontent. I don't like my this bitter side of myself.

As I drove into physical therapy recently, I remembered a wise woman's comment, “Anger is a secondary emotion.” And I thought to myself, “I'm not really angry. I'm sad.” I'm sad that I haven't found someone to share my life with. I'm sad that it appears my hand functioning will never return to normal. I'm sad because I have expectations that are going unmet. As I thought all of this, I wondered to myself what would happen if I just let myself be sad. Could I be sad instead of angry?

I talk a lot about feelings, but the truth is that I don't really like emotions, especially the negative ones. And when it comes to negative emotions it's easier for me to feel anger than it is to feel sadness. Anger directs my focus at someone or something. It is external. Sadness, on the other hand, forces me to look inward to myself and my relationship to God. Sadness forces me to realize that that I am not in control and that I must submit to God's plans for me, even in that means long-term singleness and a bum hand. Sadness hurts.

I don't like sadness, but I like my bitter self even less. So I'm trying to let myself feel and deal. God is with me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. Friends and family and plans may fail, but God never does. He gives me reason to rejoice, even amidst the sadness.

Settling

My brother gave me a beautiful wood-wick candle for Christmas. I was saving it for my own home, so I put it away in a cabinet. But since buying and inhabiting my own home seems like a far off dream at this point, I decided to open it and light it. As the candle set there on the corner crackling and burning, I thought, “I've decided to live here. I'm settling."

I'm settling on quite a few things in life right now because I refuse to settle on other things for the long term. I'm settling on living at home with my parents because I refuse to settle on buying a sub-par house, or buying a home that exceeds my budget. I'm settling on being single because I refuse to settle on less than God's best in marriage. I'm settling on suboptimal hand performance because I refuse to settle for more botox. I'm settling on staying in Arizona because I refuse to settle and believe that I've done all I can here.

Life is about decisions, and I've got to settle one way or another. So I'm settling on living out my life right here and right now, rather than reaching for things that aren't good for me.

Partner Up (Or Not!)

I may live in the Wild West, but I really dislike the term "partner." (I'd say "hate," but that might be too strong.) I get that calling a romantic counterpart a "partner" is the politically and socially correct thing to do, but I don't like it. I don't want a partner.

When I think of the word partner, I think of a business relationship. I think of a relationship that can be interrupted, swapped, or up-changed. It's temporary. It's changeable. I don't want that. I want a husband, a mate, a long-term commitment. Marriage is hard work and it's supposed to be "'til death do us part." For Christians, it's supposed to imitate Christ and the church (Ephesians 5). That's serious business.

So partner up all you want, but I'm holding out for a long term mate. Maybe it's for a season, maybe it's for life. We'll see....

Healthy Gingerbread Baked Oatmeal Cups

I am having a bit of a heyday with baked oatmeal cups made with almond butter. Almond butter is seriously a game-changer! Take a look at these healthy gingerbread oatmeal cup beauties!

I adapted this recipe from Kristine's Kitchen to up the fruit content (via applesauce) and eliminate the sugar. I am not anti-sugar at all, I just feel better when I do not eat it at breakfast.

Ingredients:

2 1/4 c oats
1 t ginger
1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 t allspice
1/4 t nutmeg
1 1/2 t baking powder
1/4 t salt
1 1/4 c applesauce
1 c water
2 T almond butter
1 t vanilla

Directions:

1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2) Grease 12 cupcake tins. (I used coconut oil.)
3) Mix together dry ingredients in a large bowl.
4) Stir together wet ingredients in a smaller bowl.
5) Add wet ingredients to dry and stir.
6) Bake at 380 degrees for 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
7) Allow muffins to cool in the pan before removing.

I put my muffins in the freezer after they cooled and pop out a few when I need them. They are good partly frozen, but then again, I like all my baked goods that way!

Staying In My Lane

"Stay in your lane." 

That was the advice my friend and internship adviser gave me time and time again when I worked with her. And she tells me that even now whenever I talk to her. That advice has come back to me a lot lately.

Most days, I want to be somewhere other than I am. I want to be fully licensed and good at my job. I want to own my own house and be settled and have my future all laid out. I'd like to get married. I'd like to be perfectly healthy and a model of intuitive living. I'd like to have more time to invest in church and things that matter. But right now I'm not in any of those places. I am where I am.

Staying in your own lane is important while driving. It prevents accidents and injuries and head on collisions. It makes sure you get where you're going.

I'd like to be better at my job, but right now I am young and inexperienced. I can't help that. I need this time to gain experience and knowledge.  Staying in my lane looks like staying the course, attending training, and being open and responsive to criticism and feedback.

I wanted to buy a house so badly, and I was extremely disappointed that it didn't work out. But now I see that living at home with my parents is good for me right now. Staying in my lane right now means living at home, paying minimal rent, saving what money I can, and really investing in family relationships.

I'd like to get married, but forcing that issue isn't going to get me into the kind of godly relationship that I want. Maybe God is preparing someone for me and me for someone, and I need to give it time. Maybe God is removing barriers to a good relationship from that guy's life and mine. Or maybe marriage is not a mile marker on this road of my life. Maybe the lane of life I am in is leading me to a destination other than that of having a husband and a family. I don't know. Staying in my lane right now looks like waiting, watching, and growing my relationship with the bridegroom of the church, Jesus Christ.

I am irritated about some of my health issues. I sometimes think I should start some intense workout protocol or diet to "fix" my problems. But then I think that I like my life and don't want to focus all my efforts on improving just my physical health. Instead, I need to stay in my lane and keep taking reasonable and moderate steps towards becoming holistically healthier, mind, body, soul, and spirit.

I get excited when I hear about good things going on at church. I want to jump on board and start helping, but I don't have the time or energy to commit to doing so. Staying in my lane looks like keeping up with my commitment to singing on worship team and being supportive of the other things happening. Maybe I will have the opportunity to get involved in the future.

Speeding gets you tickets. Comparison distracts. Passing can be dangerous. So I'm staying in my lane, driving at a reasonable pace and seeing where God takes me. He's the one who's got the road map for my life anyway.

I Care About Kids...

...but I'm not a mom.

Let me explain. I work with kids. I am growing to love it. Kids matter. The kids I work with are "my kids" even if I have not birthed them. But that doesn't make me a mom.

I have been repeatedly asked if I am a mother this past year. The lady at the pottery shop asked me if I planned to have another child when I was out with my "kids." (I had to clarify that I was not their mother.) The librarian asked me if I had kids when I was perusing the children's section looking for a book. (Nope! My life just revolves around kids and I needed a resource.) The lady in the church bathroom told me that I'd have beautiful kids after I'd responded to her other questions that I didn't have kids and needed a husband before I would. The woman in the pew next to me asked about my interest in marriage and told me I was cute and she hoped I'd find someone. (I assume she hopes I'll have kids, too.) The nail salon owner asked me if I had kids when I was there before Mother's Day to purchase a gift certificate for a friend's birthday. (When I said, "No," he clarified that I look like I'm 19. Thanks, but I'm not.) One kiddo recently asked if I wanted kids. They reported that I'd be a good mom because I'm nice and say, "Please use the magic word." Maybe all the time I spend with kids is beginning to give me a persona.

I'm not a mom, and I'm not sure I can be a mom and do the work I do. I might want to be an adoptive mom someday, but that's another topic for another day. For now, know I care about kids, but that I cannot replace their mothers. Moms have a special and unique role, and that isn't my my place . My role is to help, and encourage, and support. My role is to help children and families become more whole.

I care about kids, and I don't have to be a mom to do it.

*I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post. 

Afghan 57

Here comes another one:

I started this one before the scarf, so I don't know how long it's been in the works. But now it is done! The pattern is one I found on Pinterest, the easy blanket stitch from Mama in Stitch. I used Red Heart cherry red again. I probably should find a new color soon....

Friends, have any of you completed fun projects lately? Please share in the comments section.

*I often write about my dystonia when I share about my crochet projects, but I'll skip it this time. If you want an update and didn't read my last post about my hand, feel free to do so.

Acts of Service for Mom

A co-worker made the comment the other day that her husband picks up a lot of slack for her. I don't have a husband, so my parents do that for me. My dad does a lot of stuff for me with my car. My mom takes care of things around the house. I try to help when I can, but I don't do it often enough.

Taking Mom on the home tour was my gift to her for Mother's Day, but I still wanted to do more. I honestly wanted to take the easy route and buy her something, but gifts are not her love language. She told me that her love language is acts of service, and I have been trying to remember that. She has tons of stuff to do just like I do, so while she was out on Saturday, I tried to do a little bit extra.

I made her a carrot cake.

I sliced the bread and made carrot sticks and Gatorade for Dad's lunches

I crafted her a card.

(I saw this idea on Pinterest. The inside says "...They hold everything together."

I did the dishes.

I wrapped her gifts.

I'm not sharing these things to make myself look good, but rather to issue a challenge to others to find little ways to appreciate moms and other special people. Mom does way more for me on a daily basis than I could every repay, but I hope these things helped her and made her special day a little bit easier and show her I love her.

Happy Mother's Day to my mom and all the other moms out there!

Friends, what are you most thankful about your mom? Have you taken the Five Love Languages test, and how do you give and receive love? Feel free to share in the comments section.

Living in Limbo

As I've entered my 30th year of life, living in the limbo of being unmarried has become harder and harder. "I've been single my entire life, so it shouldn't be this hard," I tell myself. But it is. And lately, the concept of marriage just keeps coming up over and over again. I've realized that we live in a marriage-centric society, and that's God's design, except when it isn't.

Life is lived in dyads. Family usually starts with two. People fight for the right to marry. In the church, marriage is a metaphor for Christ and the Church (Eph 5:21-33). The speaker preached about that just recently. But what about when marriage isn't? When people are long-term, and sometimes life-long singles? When people are divorced or widowed, and not by their own choice? God grants salvation, and thereby relationship with him to everyone (John 6:40). God doesn't abandon or leave or forsake (Deut 31:8).

I would argue that sometimes marriage isn't in God's design. Paul was a long-term single from what we know. He wrote about how a lack of marriage allows more focus on God in 1 Corinthians 7. God calls Himself a husband to the unmarried in Isaiah 54. But that fact that a calling to singleness seems to exist doesn't make the single life any easier.

I live in a state of relationship tension, and so do many of my beautiful friends. We wonder if we should keep looking for the "one," or just give up and write out plans exclusive of a spouse. As much as I'd sometimes like to lose my desire to be married, it's still there. And to write off marriage would be to wrench my life out of God's hands and tell Him I'm writing my life story. I'm not. God's in control, whether I like it or not. God's in control of not only my singleness, but also in control of my job, my family, my environment, and so much more.

So here I am, embarking on another year of life as a single, admiring God's divine design in  marriage, but wondering how my life fits into it. All I can do is keep waiting and watching. Whether it's for an earthly spouse or for the eminent return of Christ, the husband of the Church, I don't know.

*I'm linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for this Thinking Out Loud post. 

Craveable Chocolate Oatmeal Muffin Cups

Returning to physical therapy means early mornings. I decided I'd rather sleep in and eat breakfast in the car than get up early. That meant figuring out an on-the-go breakfast. I've been craving chocolate, and you know I like oatmeal. So I searched for a recipe and found these chocolate breakfast oatmeal cupcakes from Chocolate Covered Katie. I subtracted some sweetener, substituted some and came up with these delightful and satisfying chocolate oatmeal muffin cups.

The dark cocoa in these muffins makes them slightly decadent. The applesauce adds sweetness without overpowering. Almond butter adds protein and satisfaction. It's a pretty good combination. So without further ado, here's the recipe.

Ingredients:

2 1/2 cups old-fashioned oats
1/4 c cocoa powder
1 T baking powder
1/2 t salt
1 1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce
1 1/2 c water
2 T almond butter
1 1/2 T vanilla

Directions:

1) Preheat oven to 380 degrees.
2) Grease 12 cupcake tins. (I used coconut oil.)
3) Mix together dry ingredients in a large bowl.
4) Stir together wet ingredients in a smaller bowl.
5) Add wet ingredients to dry and stir.
6) Bake at 380 degrees for 25 minutes.
7) Allow muffins to cool in the pan before removing.

I put my muffins in the freezer after they cooled and pop out a few before I leave in the morning, but how you eat them is up to you!

Bucket List Birthday Weekend

I only turn 30 once, right? So I might as well live it up. I took a day off work on Friday and decided to try to cross quite a few more items off my bucket list. I feel pretty successful and very grateful. 

Here's a recap of the weekend:

Friday, May 4th

Hiking the Hotshots and Journey Trails with Mom:

These trails are at the Granite Mountain Hotshots Memorial State Park and are a tribute to the 19 firefighters who lost their lives five years ago protecting the town of Yarnell.

The trail was 6.5 miles total, but pretty challenging. 

The views were gorgeous.

The memorials were sobering.

Thanks to all who did and do serve in a firefighting capacity.

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Cooking dinner for the family:

The best weeknight pasta sauce (recipe from Budget Bytes) over spaghetti, with sides of  broccoli and cauliflower and garlic bread

Saturday, May 5th

Prescott Home Tour with Mom: This was my Mother's Day gift to Mom, but I enjoyed it, too!

We dressed alike for a mother-daughter photo

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Dinner at Arturo's:(I wanted to go to Prescott, but then remembered that it was Whiskey Row Marathon weekend. Mom suggested going to Chino Valley, and trying a restaurant there was on my list for this year, so I was like, "Sold!")

My new standard order for Mexican is chili rellano. This was served with beans and rice.

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After dinner, I had a birthday card and gift opening extravaganza.

I cleaned up a little afterwards....

Thanks to all who sent cards, and wishes, and gifts for my birthday. I felt so loved!

The Big 3-0!

Well, it's May 5 again and the date of my "big" birthday. Am I finally an adult now? No one really believes that I'm 30, but whatever. My birth certificate proves I am.

And now, on to the year in review.

My three favorites from the year:

1) My new job: Hard as it is, I'm finally doing what I trained to do. Lord, help me do my job with grace and strength!

(No, I don't play in the sand every day, but I do engage in sand tray sometimes. This was a tray I created in supervision.)

2) Traveling! Yes, I actually left the state to this year, three times in fact! First, I went to Kansas for my cousin's wedding. Then I visited littlest brother in Wisconsin, and more recently I went to Texas to run the Fresh 15 5K with my brother and sister-in-law.

3) King and Country: Maybe it wasn't the best concert experience ever, but I did it and checked another item off my bucket list.

My Goals for Year 29:

How'd I do? Ehh. I'm working on it, I guess. I have been trying to cook more. I've discovered that I really want chocolate most mornings at breakfast, so I've been having it, usually in the form of chocolate oatmeal or hot chocolate. I stopped being so vegetarian and started eating more meat because it just worked better for me. I'm eating what sounds good even when it sounds ridiculous, like the other night when I had chicken salad and green peas for a bedtime snack. Food isn't the end all, be all, but it's nice when it is satisfying.

My sleep got a little better, as I focused on it more all the times I was sick. But recently it's been not so great. I wonder if the changing of seasons has something to do with it, seeing that I'm waking up at 4 am again.

I've played around with exercise a little bit. I've taken a few more days off due to tiredness and sickness. I got a FitBit watch and am trying to move more during the work day. I'd like to be stronger and healthier, but this is the body I've got, so I need to be grateful for what I can do and not lament what I can't. And I still need to learn to listen to my body more.

My Goals for Year 30:

I'm working on my #bucketlistproject. Those are my specific goals for 2018. In the next year of life, I guess I'd say that I more globally want to:

1) Get better at my job. I need to attend trainings and apply what I learn. That's often a challenge in the fast-paced, ever-changing work world, but it's possible.

2) Stress less. I stress a lot. I really need to get better at managing my own stress so that I can achieve goals one and three.

3) Live life. I'm bad about letting stress and tiredness steal my joy. I need to let those things go and live as much as I can. Certain things are out of my control, like getting married or finding a house I can afford. But I can live in the moment, enjoy what I have, and keep reaching out to find new experiences and relationships.

And that's a wrap. Any comments or suggestions about my goals? What goals did you, or do you have for year 30? Please share in the comments section.

Tips for Getting Into God's Word

"Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path."

~Psalm 119:105 (New International Version, NIV)

Life is crazy and hectic. It is very easy to stray away from the daily habit of consuming God's Word. But when I do, it's not good. Havoc generally ensues. (Maybe I'll write a specific post on that at a later date.) I don't think I'm alone in this struggle, so I thought I'd share some tips for incorporating Bible reading into the busyness of everyday life.

Do it first thing in the morning.

I try to read my Bible before I get out of bed. (Granted, I have to get out of my bed to get my Bible.) This keeps my attention focused and somewhat undivided. Once I press power on my computer, grab my phone off the charger, start laundry, or even set out clothes to wear, I'm off thinking about the day instead of absorbing what I'm reading.

Try memorizing or meditating on a verse every day.

I grew up taking part in AWANA and having to memorize Bible verses word-perfect. I stopped memorizing for a while, but then my mom challenged me to get back into it. My Bible memory these days looks more like meditating on part of a verse than being able to recite the verse word-perfect, but it works. I try to keep a stack of index cards with verses handy for this purpose.

Use audio Bible readings.

When I'm really running late, or have a long drive ahead, I use the One Year Bible audio readings. These have a little bit of commentary followed by the full reading for that day (since I follow the read through the Bible in a year plan). I prefer to see the words on the page, but hearing them is better than nothing.

Go to Psalms and/or Proverbs for a quick read.

One of my pastors recommended reading the Psalm of the day and the Proverb a day (based on the numeric day of the month). This is what I refer to as my "fast food" Bible reading strategy. Psalms and Proverbs are not as dense as other books, but they still provide truth!

Getting into the Word is important, no matter how you do it. Please share your tips for getting into the Bible on a daily basis in the comments section below.